50 Shades of Silver

Shade 31

Silvertongue: This is it, guys. I have decided to give up — BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE. It's just temporarily; I need to calm my turbulent and dirty thoughts and direct them away from Amethystglimmer for a while. Not that they're going to go to any other she-cat, of course.

Saph: So basically you're taking a vacation.

Silvertongue: No, I just need to enjoy a diversion—

Saph: Yeah, you're taking a vacation. A real one this time, judging from what you're saying. Try not to cry too much.

Silvertongue: *desperately holding back tears even though cats can't cry* I'm already missing her scent, her beautiful eyes, her sleek fur, her sweet voice as she calls to me, "Don't be long, my love!"

I'm sure she'll be secretly missing me but way to shy to say it to my face when I come back. Actually, that's my real plan this time — to leave for a short time just enough to make her feel how incredibly important I actually am in her life and how she'll be sad all day without me. Then she'll be pining and yearning for my presence by her side and when I come back, BAM, we're mates!

Saph: Yeah, okay. That sounds like a reasonable plan. *Disappears into thin air*

Silvertongue: *sniffs* Better than 'reasonable'. It's magnificent. The beginning of a perfect relationship of a perfect couple living in their own little perfect world doing perfect things! That loser Glodhard or whoever is her current mate will be bummed!

The silver tom, tail twitching excitedly, leafs through a travel brochure at the speed of light and puts a paw on his decided destination: Mapleshade's Museum of Broken Dreams from The Dark Forest.

Silvertongue: Ah! What a beautiful place! It'll help me forget my troubles for sure! It's been a while since I've updated Pawbook.

At the destination:

Silvertongue: *shivers* T-this i-isn't what it looked like in the b-b-b-rochure...

Mapleshade: *bares teeth* Welcome — actually, don't feel welcome at all in my Museum of Broken Dreams.

Silvertongue: *shakily points to the non-existent window* Th-his spot is meant to be a beautiful ornate stained glass window and t-that spot *points at a cracked mirror with a mass of dark unknown substance on its surface* is meant to have this pretty statue of Amethystglimmer instead... I was going to take a selfie with her...

Mapleshade: STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW MY MUSEUM IS SUPPOSED TO BE ALL STARCLAN LA-DEE-DA. It's true, my museum has been ruined by those two idiots recently... but that doesn't stop me from collecting admission fee! Twenty-eight Millie burgers, now!

Silvertongue: I thought you used the Amethystglimmer currency! I thought all cats did! *holds out five coins with Amethystglimmer's face inscribed on them* I only have these.

Mapleshade: What?! No! Get out of my museum if you don't have the payment! *advances, back arched in hostility*

Silvertongue: *barely escapes with his life hanging by a thread*

Back at the camp:

Silvertongue: Phew, that was close. Even though it wasn't a pleasurable experience, it sure took my mind off things for a while. Let's see if my master plan worked! *sidles up to Amethystglimmer* Hey, beautiful.

Amethystglimmer: *turns around, eyes sparkling — * Oh, it's just you. Go away. I'm about to go on a date with Glodhart.

Silvertongue: *gaping* B-b-but aren't you — wait, did you even notice I was gone?

Amethystglimmer: *impatiently* I dunno what you're blabbering on about, Silvertree or whatever you're called. Just get out of my way.

Silvertongue: *utterly broken-hearted as he backs away* She didn't even notice? That wasn't supposed to happen...

Written by Saph! 🍩