Magic & Desire (Clint Barton Fan Fiction)

Chapter 31

The next person to visit me was Natasha and she came the morning following the day Wanda and Levi came.

"Can't I get a whole week without seeing anyone?" I put the brown and black candles down on a stand near the door as I looked to her.

"Restyling already?" She ignored me and moved to the opposite side of the room, the side that had the big windows I really liked and enjoyed. "Levi and Wanda both said you had this place set up, your candles all over, incense burning, the whole you-home mojo down."

"I felt like moving my candles around. And with my bad moods lately, I need more positive vibes. What do you want?"

"Today's my day off. Do you wanna go have a ladies' day? Just me and you. We can go shopping."

I turned around to face her and leaned against the stand I had just put the candles on.

"Are you going to try to get me to go back to Clint? Or are you going to try to therapy talk it out of me?"

"Why would I do either of those things?"

"Wanda tried to talk me into going back to him and Levi wanted me to talk to him about it. But I didn't want to." I spoke quietly, picking up the pentagram necklace around my neck. "So why are you here? Really?"

"For you. I've had my time with Clint and now I want my time with you. I'm your friend too, Shyla. We've known each other for ten years and in those ten years, I've never seen you go through a breakup. I know how much Clint means to you—,"

"No you don't." I whispered, shaking my head just slightly. "Because I barely know how much he really means to me."

Natasha kept her eyes on me for a few moments.

"You were still a part of HYDRA when we met way back when. You pretend to be a different person from that time, but you have the same heart." Natasha took a seat at the little square table.

"I am nothing like I was when they had me." I spoke through my teeth to her.

"You had the chance to kill me, Shyla." Natasha spoke softly. "I remember it like it was yesterday. It was one of my first solo missions with S.H.I.E.L.D. Everything was going great until I found a girl pushing sixteen in my hotel room going through my shit."

I tore my eyes away from her's, moving to sit down across from her at the table.

"We fought a little and then you knocked me out with one of your spells." She said quietly. "It wasn't until I spoke with Clint and a few other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents that I realized I fought the Vexx and didn't die. I mean, I had just heard rumors about her and how she was supposedly this ancient being with all kinds of magic. But.... she was just a kid."

I picked anxiously at my nails, sighing out gently. I knew everything she was talking about. It was just memories.

"Three months after that, we ran into each other in London. I overheard you and Levi talking and he was telling you that if you got another chance to kill me, take it."

Silence fell between us for a moment.

"That's whenever I realized you didn't have a choice with whatever you were involved in." She all but whispered. "You didn't kill me, the Black Widow, and you had the chance. No one in my life, except for Clint, ever gave a shit about my life."

"What does this have to do with my problems now?" I asked quietly, folding my arms on the table and resting my head in them.

"Well.... It has to do with the fact that I have a good reason to want to help you through this."

"I don't need help."

Natasha raised her eyebrows at me.

"Isolating yourself from your friends is not a good way to get over a relationship, Shyla."

"I don't have friends, Natasha."

"You've got me and Wanda and the rest of the Avengers like you more than they did when they met you."

"I'm fine, really." I leaned back in the chair. "I do better when I'm isolated from everyone else."

"But do you really like it?"

My bottom lip was taken between my teeth as I thought about the truthful answer to that question.

"I think there was a point in my life where I actually thought that I would be able to have kids." Natasha spoke quietly. This time, it was her who avoided my gaze as she looked at my hands. "But that was.... that was a long time ago.... many years ago."

"Nat—,"

"That's not why I brought it up." She cut me off, her green eyes meeting my silver-gray ones.

"Then how do you know what I was going to say?"

"Because I know you. I just.... I just don't think I ever told anyone that." She shrugged her shoulders lightly. Silence fell between us again as I looked out the big window that let me look over the street below.

"Natasha, I think it would make me the happiest woman in the world—in the universe even—to have a family with him." I whispered. "But I-I can't lose anyone else, not just Levi."

Natasha was silent but she nodded her head understandingly.

"I know what you mean. With everything you've been through, it's completely understandable."

Her phone rang, catching her attention. She glanced at it and sighed.

"Who is it?" I asked nosily.

"No one. Just a reminder that I still have to go dress shopping for Stark's charity event tomorrow night." Natasha tucked her phone away and stood up. "Do you want to come with me?"

"Natasha, I—,"

"Shopping, I meant." She cut me off. "I could use your opinion."

"Yeah. Let me go change."

I hadn't left my apartment for a handful of days. I actually lost track....

•*•*•

"You should come as my date, Shy." Natasha suggested as we circled two different dress racks.

"That's how we almost destroyed the Louvre three and a half years ago." I reminded her.

"That was actually Levi, not us."

"I already told him that I wasn't going to the party."

"Are you afraid you'll see Clint?" Natasha peaked around the rack and smirked a little.

"I'm not afraid." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Chicken."

"Shut up, Natasha."

She snickered a little and we continued to look for dresses.

"Oh my God, Shyla! Go try this on!" Natasha thrust a dress into my arms.

"Natasha—,"

"Just do it! I promise you'll love it."

"I'm not even going!" I grumbled as she pushed me into a changing stall.

"Just try it anyways. You never know when you might need a hot dress."

"Why do I even like you?"

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<3 Kacey <3