Breaking Protocol {Percy Weasley}

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Percy was beside himself as he wandered through the corridors. He was yanking at his hair, frustrated with himself for being so angry with Clara. He hated change, and she knew that, yet it seemed like she was trying her hardest to be such a different person. Her hair, her clothing, and always hanging out with Fred and George.

Percy felt like she was slipping through his fingers and he didn't know how to stop it. It scared him. He needed it to just stop right now or else he was afraid his heart might just burst.

Percy hadn't said more than a few words to Clara when she entered their Charm class with her bizarre haircut and tight clothing. Percy missed her long beautiful curls, and her usual baggy jeans and t-shirts were something Percy admired because not a lot of girls dressed like that anymore. But now, Percy could see every curve in her body and while he didn't mind looking at her in that kind of way, he hated the thought that every other guy could see it too.

Percy was finally at ease when he spotted Penelope seated in the window seat the two were in yesterday.

Clara's window seat.

He jogged over to the girl, his mind spinning so much he couldn't get an intelligent word out of his mouth. A pathetic greeting was all he could manage, and by the pained and saddened expression on Percy's face, Penny noticed something was off and got to her feet.

It didn't take long before Percy broke down, his emotions building up so high inside him he didn't know how else to express himself other than stand there-tears streaking his face.

"Oh, Percy." Penny breathed, instantly dropping her book in the window seat and pulling him into a tight hug. He let her-let her run her fingers through his wild curls, let her rub her hand up in down his back in a soothing motion he always loved. Percy let Penny comfort him, let himself melt against her familiar body.

He didn't know why he was like this. Percy hated being so vulnerable and wasting so much time tiptoeing around feelings. He could usually ignore it, the pain he felt in his chest from being so alone all the time, but this time he couldn't.

This was a different kind of pain, the kind of pain that made Percy want to scream out and just dissolve into a puddle of misery, never to be disturbed. He just wanted to end this misery right now, right right now. His world was spinning and Percy was tripping out. His heart beat wildly in his chest and his breath kept escaping him. He couldn't handle loosing Clara, he just could not handle it. She got him, she loved him, she gave him the attention he lacked all his life. She was way too good for Percy, he knew this, and that's what made this whole thing so much more painful.

Clara could walk away and get swept up by someone immediately. But Percy, he was never enough for anyone. He wasn't even enough for his family--for his mother. He was afraid Clara was realizing what everyone else already knew. Percy was plain, Percy was cold, Percy was easy to forget. Percy was just...Percy, he only stuck out because he was the boring brother of the most exciting family.

He feared change, his anxiety magnified it. Change meant things weren't the same as before, they meant Clara was drifting from their amazing, intimate relationship they had going on. Change meant Percy was going to loose someone, like when Fred and George were born and Percy became invisible in every situation after that. They were so demanding that Percy lost his mom and dad. Fred and George sucked the air out of any room they were in, their presence demanded attention. The only people that could trump the twins were Bill and Charlie, but never ever Percy. He might as well have been a painting on the wall.

Alone.

Percy's body shook. His lungs forgot how to breathe because his heart was beating so fast. He was hyperventilating, the air felt warm and old. He needed fresh air, he needed to calm his body, he needed something, something to stop the spinning.