Cherry Bomb (Big Time Rush)

You've Really Got a Hold on Me

"Oh look Jules, this is Papa's favorite part," Kendall cooed to the slumbering baby in the cart beside him. Julian didn't say anything, just contently sucked on his pacifier as Kendall continued to watch the recording of James punching the snot out of Jett on the latest segment of the gossip show on the television the hospital provided. Logan was sitting in the room beside Carlos, a pale hand moving to lazily twirl in the fabric of Carlos' sleeve.

"How unprofessional," Logan mumbled and Carlos cocked his head to the side.

"You still like it though, don't you?" Carlos said with a smile.

"I love it," Logan said with a big grin and Carlos laughed, giving Logan a playful hit on the arm. Kendall and Julian had been in the hospital for about four days of impatient waiting. And during that time, James had been conducting major damage control. It seemed like Kendall couldn't turn the channel without hearing some news about James and Kendall's newest addition to the family, Kendall's real relationship with James, the scandal with James and Jett, it was ridiculous. But Kendall was just happy that James was answering every question straight up. Did he love Jett? Fuck no. Did he love this Kendall? Hell yes. How is the baby? Perfectly fine and more gorgeous than any baby in Hollywood would ever hope to be.

Okay, maybe James was putting a slight brag when it came to talking about Julian but Kendall couldn't object. Jules was a cute kid and James had every right to brag. If Kendall wasn't stuck in the hospital, he would probably parade around with his son too. But Kendall liked being in the room, particularly because of the continuing income of flower bouquets and gift baskets. Kendall didn't know who 3/4ths of these people even were, most of them all women. So when he asked Logan, the brunette pointed out that the lilies were from the wife of a movie star that had triplets, the large teddy bear was from the husband of a composer that had two baby girls, the sunflowers were from the wife of a producer that had four children with another one on the way and almost every other gift that wasn't from Kendall's little circle of friends were from the fathers and mothers of Hollywood. He didn't know who they were, but he appreciated how the room was getting more colorful. Maybe James was more afraid of the single, snappy and younger crowd than the ones that have been through this before in the Hollywood business.

Maybe Kendall had someone to ask about parenting in Hollywood after all.

But Kendall had other things to think about other than the flowers and positive acceptance from the unknown world of Hollywood. James kissed him the other day. On the forehead but Kendall thinks it still counts. And on another day, James was sitting with him and holding his hand, kissing each finger and lingering just a bit longer on the one that used to wear the engagement ring. Kendall still had that ring, he carried it around in his pocket and was mentally cursing himself for being such a hopelessly romantic moron, deciding before he got James' message that he would pawn it and the money would go to the baby.

Now, he really did want to put the ring back on his finger.

But it still felt too soon.

Kendall did still love James, but he didn't want to admit it just yet. There was still a long way to build back up that trust, especially since Kendall agreed to raising Jett's demon spawn (James didn't like Kendall calling it that but the blond swore he'll stop once the baby is out and he's settling into the idea of being a daddy for two children), and Kendall agreed on seeing James maybe once, twice, three times a week to talk about Julian. Kendall figured it as much, James was practically trying to attach Julian to himself but James would panic when Julian cried over a wet diaper or hungry or just didn't want to be held. Kendall had that parenting skill already down, James was slightly struggling with it.

Kendall yawned, seeing the door open and James rushing in with Dak at his heels carrying bags of clothes for Kendall.

"Ready to go?" James eagerly asked and Kendall nodded. James was already heading straight for Jules, fingers twitching and eager to hold his son.