Out of Time

Chapter 31

Arthur woke to Danielle moaning. She shifted against him, intermittently curling into a fetal ball and stretching out. The moans would calm to mere whimpers from time to time. He pulled her tighter into his arms, alarmed at the distress she was in and desperate to soothe her.

Darkness still reigned supreme in the sky, and he knew it would be a long night. He didn't know what to do. What could he do? He tightened his grip on her, pressing his face into her hair, needed her warmth and scent to soothe him as much as he needed to soothe her. He wouldn't even name the fears that gripped him in his own head for fear it would make them true.

Time passed, and she eventually settled, falling back into a deep, restful sleep, but Arthur couldn't sleep. He just held her tighter, his heart seizing in his chest. After a while, a sense of resignation settled over him, but he still did not sleep. The room gradually lightened by shades, the first rays of dawn alerting him to the start of the day.

He didn't want to leave the bed, hesitant to let her go, but what point was there in delaying? There was work to be done, and laying here would not accomplish anything. Arthur pulled his arms away from her, careful not to disturb her, and slipped out of the bed. With careful measures, he tucked the covers tightly around her. His hand touched on something wet that soaked through. He turned his hand and looked, his stomach churning at the red stain. A perfect red handprint stained the linen from where he'd pressed his hand down. He pulled the fabric back to discover the underlying cause—a decent sized pool of blood under Danielle's hip.

For a moment, panic gripped him, and he almost shook her to try to wake her, afraid that some grievous harm had come to her, but he stopped himself before he disturbed her sleep. Instead, he ran around the bed and kneeled in front of her, watching with relief and she took in and let out each breath.

He lifted a chair and placed it beside the bed. She deserved and needed her sleep, but he wouldn't leave her to bear this discovery alone. That was something he could not bear.

#

Dani woke up, and jumped when she saw Arthur sitting in a chair by the bed. "What's wrong?" She sat up straight in bed, ready to fly into action.

Arthur bowed his head, and hesitated in speaking, which only ramped up her anxiety.

"Arthur, tell me!" She moved to throw back the linens, and he stopped her with a hand to her shoulder. She paused, looking up at him, waiting for him to explain. A sadness filled his eyes, deep and painful, yet not a single hint of a tear shimmered in his eyes. "Tell me," she whispered.

"You lost the babe."

Dani blinked, her mind not quite clicking over to comprehend his news. Like she so often did, her mind did not zero in on the most important part of that statement, but on something really tangential to the subject at hand. "You knew?"

He smiled, but it didn't reach his cheeks, let alone his eyes. It was painful to watch. "Yes." He barely breathed the word, and she more read it on his lips than heard it.

She nodded, but didn't know what to say, what to do. She'd seen a child more as an obligation than something she'd honestly wanted, and she'd found the idea of chasing after Guin daunting. But she would sacrifice practically anything not to see the look on Arthur's face at that moment, to never see it again.

When she reached out to him, it was not to be comforted, it was to comfort him. He held onto her tight, and they stayed that way for some time.

#

Eventually, Dani convinced Arthur to go about his normal business, that she was fine. And she was. She had always been strong, and this wasn't even something that really bothered her. It was a missed opportunity, but she hadn't really felt ready for that stage in her life anyway.

But the look on Arthur's face still haunted her, that and the desperate way he'd held her to him. She didn't know exactly what upset him so. Was it the child? She'd never thought that men got so attached so early in a pregnancy. Hadn't she always heard that pregnancies often weren't "real" for the father until the woman started to show?

Dani shook those thoughts out of her head, instead focusing on moving on. Her face flamed as she called for her lady's maid. She stood by the door, arms crossed over her middle, not sure what to do or say. She really didn't look forward to the moment when the woman saw the sheets. Maybe she could put that off until the after she'd left the room? But her conscience wouldn't let her scare her maid in that way. After all, what would the woman think if confronted with something like that?

Someone knocked at the door.

"Enter," Dani said.

"Your majesty," her maid said as she pushed open the door.

God, she hated how her mouth never seemed to work in situations like this. Why couldn't she just say it?

"Is something amiss, my queen? The king asked that you be left alone until you called for me."

Dani nodded. "It was a rough night."

Her maid paused. "How may I be of service?"

"Well, first, I would like to get ready for the day." Might as well put things off as long as she possibly could.

#

"Oh, Dani!" Guin wailed as Dani reached the Great Hall. Guin raced across the hall at a speed Dani marveled at. How did she manage to not trip over her skirts? She flew at Dani in a sea of cloth and bony limbs, nearly knocking the breath out of her when she glomped her.

"Gah!" She struggled under Guin's considerable weight. Guin, herself, wasn't that heavy, but the sheer quantity of fabric she wore added a great deal of bulk. "Guin, easy." Dani pushed Guin back slightly trying to get some breathing room.

Tears welled in the girl's eyes. "I'm so sorry."

Dani didn't know what to do with her. She wanted to press the girl onto someone else, maybe Lancelot, but the Great Hall was conspicuously empty. In fact, even though she'd come down quite late, she was surprised that no one had come out yet to serve her food. She suspected it was to avoid the histrionics. "Please, Guin, pull yourself together."

Guin took a big, ragged breath, and wiped under her eyes. "How can you be so calm?"

Dani shook her head, leading Guin to a table. "Sit."

She complied, looking up at Dani expectantly.

Dani sat beside her, not knowing what to say. Suddenly, she felt very tired. "I'm okay, Guin. It's just a lost opportunity, nothing more."

The girl stared at her for the longest time. "You are so wise."

"I'm just older."

"No, you are. And level headed. It's no wonder Arthur chose you over me."

"Guin..."

"It's fine. I promise. If you don't need me, I'm going to go and watch the training."

Dani smirked. "Go."

As soon as Guin's back passed through the exterior door, a servant sailed into the room with food. She smiled and shook her head.