QUOTE, RANDOM, LAUGH! have Fun

The Start

"The night took over.

The darkness surrounded me.

Trapped in world of nothing, I tried desperately to escape.

Shaking my head, I tried desperately to figure out what to write. The assignment was to write a hundred or more words, those hundred or more words would be what I had to base my story off of.

The problem was each sentence I thought of was darker than the other and I wasn't sure how people would react to that. I wanted to base my story off of something that was important. Something that I had felt.

I thought back to the days when I had been so close to giving up on everyone and everything. I thought about how no one saw or suspected anything. Maybe that was what I could do, i could tell the exaggerated truth of what it felt like to trapped inside my own head. I knew how that story ended, I mean I lived it.

Looking up at the clock, I realized I had ten minutes left to make a start. Scraping everything else I had wrote, I started again.

As the day replaced the night, the darkness still surrounded me.
Trapped in my own little bubble of darkness and despair, it was like the days fled in fear... what they were afraid of I don't know. The light was buried under darkness, hidden from sight and kept from surfacing.

I heard the sounds and felt the happiness that surrounded me, but it had a long time since I'd felt happy. The very word felt like it was part of some foreign language I'd yet to learn. Yet I put on the smile and laughed liked all the rest, I hid the truth from those who looked and lied to those who asked if I was okay.

As long as I looked and acted happy everyone would assume that's what I was. No one would guess how truly hard it had become to smile, laugh or even feel. No one would know how hard it was to get up and look at my reflection. As long as I looked and acted the part no one would know.

It hadn't been like this before. I'd felt sad sometimes, but never had I felt nothing, never had I been numb to anything but darkness. It was thr rules that I  had been given to follow that caused this. The rules were my downfall.

I couldn't scream.

I couldn't cry.

I had to push my thoughts and feelings away.

I had to look good.

I had to look the part.

I thought it was those stupid rules that pushed me passed the line, but the truth was, it wasn't the rules. No it was how no one seemed to think anything was wrong, that's what pushed me over.

People shakes their heads and say it's wrong, the world doesn't revolve around looks, but what else does it revolve around?

To see if someone is sick, you look at their face and see what they look like. To make sure someone is happy, you watch to make sure they look happy.

If I looked happy, I was happy... at least, I was to everyone else.

The truth was never important, it was always the mask. I'd been asked so many times if I were okay, each time I lied. As bad as it may sound the truth was, I was giving them the answer they wanted.

The plain truth was something they couldn't handle. The truth was something they would have feared.

So they asked if I'm happy.  If they'd asked everyone else, they'd find everyone would say  yes.

So am I happy?

To everyone else the answer is yes I am.

The truth.

I'm only two words away from letting go.

Smiling, I set down my pen and waited for the teacher to check what I had wrote. The look on her face was unreadable but her eyes said it all.

There was great truth to the words I'd wrote, I knew it because I had lived it, she knew it because she had been the only one to see past the mask I had put up."  Taking a risk I glanced up to see the crowd listening. The emotions that showed on their faces went from sadness to wonder.
"That assignment was what started this wonderful journey. That assignment was what made me realize I had something to share, and now as I stand before each and everyone of you, I can't help but wonder how different my life would have been. Thanks to everyone who helped me get to where I am, I wouldn't be here, holding this magnificent award, if it hadn't been for all of you. My book would never have made it anywhere, without all of you and I certainly wouldn't be here if it hadn't been for you all. I thank each and every one of you for helping me get to where I am, but for also helping me share my story. Thank you"

____________________________________

"Mum?" My five year old daughter's voice snapped me out of the memory I had been replaying.

"Yes sweetheart?" Looking down, I saw her beautiful brown eyes fill with hope.

"Do you think that one day I would be able to tell a story like you did?" Smiling, I tucked her in and kissed her forehead.

"As long as you have something to say, whether you write a book, or keep it for your children, you can always tell a story." I switched off her lamp and walked to the door.

"I love you mummy."

"I love you too sweetheart." I gently closed her bedroom door. Smiling slightly, I walked back to my bedroom and lay down beside my husband.

"Everything all right?" He asked, as he wrapped an arm around my waist.

"Yeah. Everything is perfect."

I love this. I don't know why but I do.

Unedited. A possible chapter to a possible new book.