QUOTE, RANDOM, LAUGH! have Fun

↓ Possible last chapter. ↓

So I'm completely and utterly random, pft who isn't?

I say weird things and touch on topics that I should probably leave alone.

I say things that no one understands or really cares about.

I'm not boring because nothing I do is the same.

I am weird.

I am different.

I am a nerd.

I am cool.

I am pretty.

I am beautiful.

I am me.

So why do people care so much?

In my head I know what I am and what I'm not. Am I a super model with long hair and perfect makeup with a toned body? Ummm no. Does it bother me?
It used to.

Here's the thing, as I said earlier

I am beautiful.

I'm 5"6 with dark brown hair that- at its longest -reaches my chin. I have big blue eyes framed with long dark eyelashes, my lips aren't small and I have straight teeth. For years people have been asking if I'd gotten my eyebrows shaped, I only ever got that done this year. I can wake up most mornings, not do anything with my hair but run my fingers through it and it still looks pretty damn good. I'm told that overall I look kind and respectable. I am a dancer.

I also have flat feet and am prone to falling over. I have dark purple bags under my eyes at all times and my hair is only as good as the haircut. My eyebrows are dark and one is thicker than the other- one day my mum decided to attack me with tweezers. My eyelashes are constantly falling in my eyes. People take my kindness for granted more often than not. The reason my teeth are straight is because I had braces for like four years. I was born with big thighs and all though I'm not "fat" I classify as "solid". I read more than go outside and am not particularly outdoorsy. I hate sport unless I get to watch it. My dancing includes moving to the beat when no one is home to watch. I'm as graceful as a Giraffe on a child's sled sliding down a mountain trying desperately to stop. I have scars all over my body ranging from big accidents- like the time I tore my knee open when I fell on a very sharp rock- to small things- like the time I accidentally stabbed myself with my long fingernails- and everything in between. I wear size fourteen jeans- Australian - top size is 14.

Now I'm sure all of you are thinking TMI!!

Well the simple fact is this. Most people would have looked at the first paragraph- where I'm basically bragging about my looks and skills -shook their head and say that I'm, well, conceited. Then they would look at the paragraph- where I'm contradicting basically everything -and stop reading or take pity on me.

The truth of the matter is if you look at how long the paragraphs are and the difference in length. Well you'll take in how incredibly true they are, you'll see me in all my glory.

I KNOW that my faults out number basically everything... but I also know that the good things are what people notice first.

Sure I'm not perfect and I can always find one thing about me that I wish to change at some point, but I happy with my faults and proud that I can openly admit them.

Admitting them and knowing what my faults are doesn't exactly help with the bullying, nor does it make the looks and whispers hurt any less but it does help.

By knowing what my faults are I can get up every morning knowing that, despite the harsh words and little comments, I can still see everything I love about me.

I can still see the kind eyes, long dark eyelashes, full lips, pleasant smile and know that despite their words I look and am kind.

I know you have probably heard the "just ignore them" or the "don't worry about everyone else's opinion", I'll give that advice but I'm not stupid.

Not caring what others say comes with time and experience. To be perfectly straight with you being a 15 year old I don't have a lot of either.

Yet every time I get dressed up, I appreciate how I look with or without makeup. Every time I get up I look in the mirror see my faults but more importantly I see the good things shine brighter.

It may seem hard to believe now but those that matter and are important to you will or should always see past those faults.

No I don't know why people care so much about my life and the way I look, I don't think I really want to know either.

All I know is that I've shared a lot of my faults and emotions with you.

In some way I hope this helps someone come to terms with the little things that they struggle with.