Ordered

Chapter 24 - In Which Rey Wants Ren to Move Out

(Chapter Rating: T)

Last night, she'd moved out of the bedroom.

Today, she wanted him to move out of the house.

The clever delilah had waited until he was mid-way through the meal she'd prepared. Obviously hoping food would smooth his mood. Now he'd have indigestion.

He sat the utensils down in disgust. His jaw tightened. "I'm not leaving you."

Rey held her hands, sitting across from him at the table, her face in earnest. "Surely you'd be more comfortable there."

"Perhaps when Skywalker returns and I'm allowed to leave this place I will find comfort." He cocked his head to the side, barely masking his annoyance. "However if the arrangement bothers you so, again, I will take the floor. I won't be separated from you."

"I can take care of myself."

"Yes, like you did in the forest on Takodana. Or when you were captured before our wedding. Or your tendency to drag around large, scrap piles. Or today during our fight."

"That's hardly fair. Lets go over all your failures, if you're so all powerful."

He stood and spread his palms wide on the table. The stern glare in his eye bore down on her. "I'm feeling better. Would you like me to show you all I'm capable of?"

Rey darted her eyes away. It gave him his answer.

"It works both ways, Rey," he lowered himself back into the chair. "You cared for me when I was weak, and I must do the same for you. There are people who would hurt you and manipulate you. And whether you want to believe it or not, there are people who would use you to hurt me because you were my lover."

Rey blushed. Her mind lingered over the past tense. Had he finally given up his blatant teasing? The unsubtle romantic pursue that amused him again and again? Yesterday, he had told her not be ashamed of their intimacy. Today, he spoke as though he no longer desired it. What had changed?

Rey frowned. "You make it sound like you have a million enemies."

He adored the rising color in her cheeks. Still, he had to make her understand. "You'd be surprised to learn I have more than that, Rey. I am your Master now. I will leave you when you are ready. Until then, I must work to make you stronger. For instance, could you even call out to me if needed?"

She frowned. If she'd been able to call out to Luke, he might have recused her from the cloning facility. There had been many voices in her mind. Yoda. Obi-wan. Luke. Horrifyingly, Snoke. However, it was a one-way channel. She'd never replied. Never sent a message of her thoughts to anyone else.

"And I thought you simply enjoyed ignoring me," his lips softened. "It's not more complicated than the Jedi mind trick. We'll start slow. Touch me. Use the Force."

His demands made her nervous. She felt anxiety to perform and fear of failure, of his mirthful laugh, if she failed. Rey lifted her hand, knowing if she paused for too long, he'd be just as annoyed with her. She envisioned herself touching the undamaged side of his forehead with the lower part of her palm. Aware of his good eye boring into her, she closed her own for the sake of focus.

"Good," his voice was genuine when he felt it. "Now go deeper. Past the flesh and bone. Into my mind."

She obeyed and surprisingly heard his thoughts again. "You're doing well. Don't be nervous, I know it's the first time. Continue. Let the message, envision it, traveling from your mind, across this bridge you've made, and into the end of your reach."

She didn't know what to say. What would be appropriate to tell him? Something simple. Something polite.

"Thank you," she mumbled to his waiting mind.

"What are friends for?" His thoughts were warm, almost comforting now. Sympathetic. Somehow patient and paternal. It wasn't what she expected. The strange kindness caused her to mentally stumble back. She broke the connection without meaning to do so.

However, if it disappointed him, he didn't allow it to show. Determined, he was clearly ready to move to the next lesson. He spoke audibly, "It's really the same concept to lift items. It starts in the mind." He nodded to her and moved away from the table. "Now, I'm going outside. See if you can manage it from there."

"But how will I touch you?"

His voice remained gentle. "You'll have to manage, padawan. Use the Force. Feel for my presence. Picture me in your mind's eye and reach there. Tell me what you'd like me to hear. If it doesn't work, try again. You're doing well."

She watched him stroll out the door. He was enjoying this. Teaching brought out his calmer, considerate side. Rey liked it. Perhaps the Force had known all along, Ben Solo would rise to the occasion as a dedicated teacher. Feeling this side of him, Rey could almost imagine his innocent days as Luke's student. She could almost see him as Jedi. If only he'd embrace the light and control his temper, someday he could inherit Luke's duty. They might create a new academy together.

The thought distracted her. She imagined their academy. The hard work and the dedication it would take to maintain. In her mind's eye, she saw a pristine new facility, one to rival the academies of old. She could imagine the darling little younglings of all races they might train. How they would grow and become strong in the Force under their careful watch. Ben's determined eye, the one that simmered into her at every opportunity.

No, she realized. His gaze was too becoming for her own good. With that burning stare, she'd never be able to work beside him, the rest of her life, without occasionally falling into temptation. It would never work. Not the way Luke and the Jedi of the past lived their lives.

Now she could feel him waiting. For her, he had patience. Here on Ahch-To, they literally had all-day.

Refocused, she tried to imagine him, and him alone, in her mind. It felt hypocritical as, so often, she tried not to think of him. Just now, she was trying not to think of that rogue gaze. But in her struggle, her mind flickered back to the past. He stood so handsome and proud in his military finery on the Star Destroyer's bridge. Although she had felt anger boiling through her body, his expression had been soft. Beholding her in a new gown, the light in his eyes had danced. She recalled how his rich blood had flown freely from his hand, into the circuits of the contract. How he had offered her the same strong hand. And, later, the first time he'd undressed for bed. When she'd decided how to escape.

She halted and admitted to herself there was a deep and strange attraction. But why shouldn't there be? He was stately enough. Feeling heated, she shook it off. It was nonsense and didn't mean anything. She couldn't be distracted. She tried again. Tried to imagine what he could be. She saw him years from now, solid in the Force as Luke. Someone she could care for and fully trust.

But it wasn't right. She couldn't reach out to the idealized image of him. An image that didn't actually exist. She had to picture him as he was now. The broken and conflicted creature. Truly, she was sorry for the scars. Luke had admitted his fault. Perhaps they could still be fixed.

Ben, she forced herself to be clear. Think of Ben. Just Ben, don't be carried away. Preoccupied.

It was no use. Without his presence in the room, right before her, her mind kept breaking into meaningless details. Other thoughts. Memories.

"I can't do it," she gave into frustration.

His voice stayed soft, "Then I can't, in good conscience, leave you."