Ordered

Chapter 38: In Which Rey Waits, Dreams, and Admits Her Truth

(Rated: T)

A week past without Luke's arrival. Nor any sight or sound from Ben.

During the remainder of the first day, Rey tried to finish her work as usual. She visited the Temple. Back home, she did her chores, and added more parts to her nearly completed droid. She made up her mind not to disturb Ben. He had requested solitude. There was little she could do or say. She had to let Ben find his peace. Luke would be back soon. Luke would be able to help. He always knew the right thing to say and do.

At nightfall, Rey ate dinner, keening aware of being completely alone. For the first time, she observed how quiet and lonely the table seemed without Ben's tall, commanding presence. Each day, as she prepared their meals, she recalled how patiently he waited at the table for her. His hands folded. His gaze fixed on her. Sometimes, he would make conversation or ask questions about the preparations. Almost as though he was trying to learn cooking skills from her. After his sweet, yet, horrible attempt at cooking during her recuperation from the fall, Rey had almost thought to give him a formal lesson. Herself, she had learned years ago through trial and error with the portion packets on Jakku. However, after their night together, she'd thought better of the idea. Offering to spend extra time with him seemed akin to leading him on.

Although their food supply was severely limited, especially compared to the delicacies served on their wedding night, he never complained. Never excused himself to leave the table until he knew she was finished. He had tried several times to move and hold her chair for her. Each time he helped clean the table.

Despite his darkness, and, at times, coarse mouth, he tried to be a gentleman. Just like he promised her all those nights ago, when he'd held his hand open to her.

Bored and weary of her solitary reflections, she crawled into bed early. Yet, sleep nearly evaded her. With every shift of her pillow, her mind flooded with bursts of annoyance, compassion, misery, and temptation. She recalled in great detail her old hopes and dreams of a life and a family. She debated the future. She found no solid answers.

In the morning, when the sun hit the window, she groggily expected Ben to be asleep in his pallet across the room, or outside at the foot of her door. He had kept his word about staying in the Command Shuttle. It was what she had wanted all along. But now that the floor was empty, she couldn't deny, she missed him a little. Upon waking each day, she had often felt drawn to him. Taking a leave of her senses, she'd sometimes stolen a moment to watch his scarred, though still attractively sculpted, chest fall and rise. Occasionally he stirred in his sleep, his long, dark eyelashes flickering as his mind was somewhere far away. One or twice, he'd been deep in a dream and muttered some stark muffled commands. Almost like he was still aboard his awful Star Destroyer.

She shuddered and put the thought away. He seemed so different now.

The second and third day past much the same as it had before Ben had arrived and Luke had left. Save for the weather, she might have been back on Jakku, at home in her fallen At-At. She woke, had all her meals alone, and focused on her never-ending work. From time to time, she stood at the window just to check on the Command Shuttle. There was no change. He hadn't come out. She pulled away, reminding herself the best course of action would be to leave him alone. He was well. He had managed to survive some thirty years without her. He certainly didn't need her checking up on him. There was nothing to be done until Luke returned.

On the fourth day, with Luke's room finally unsealed, she crept to Skywalker's storage closet. After some digging through robes, books, and junk, she pulled out a box of old training remote droids. Her experience with them was rather limited. Luke had only begun showing her ways to reflect their beams. That was before they learned the dreadful news about the clones. Her training had understandably taken a back seat. Now that she could trust Ben with the Skywalker lightsaber, she decided she could begin practicing once more.