Ordered

Chapter 36: In Which Ren Learns The Truth

(Rated: T)

Moments later, after gathering his thoughts, Ren stood outside Rey's door. He gently tapped. Standing, waiting, and staring at her door, the obstacle, was now a familiar habit to him. He even had a special place on the doorframe where he often rested his forehead, just below a fierce looking knot in the wood.

He could hear, although he didn't need to hear, that she'd been crying.

Skywalker meant so damn much to her.

More than Ren could ever dream of meaning.

Ren sighed and tapped a little louder.

Nothing.

"Rey," he finally called.

He heard her stir in the room. Then silence.

Silence was the way she was going to play it this time.

He wouldn't allow it. They weren't finished.

He fully knocked, cleared his throat, and tried the door handle. Locked. Of course.

"Rey, I would like to speak with you," he said into the door, his voice vibrating back at him. "I regret my words. You should know, from the moment I met you, I have been thankful every day for your existence. I intended to insult my uncle and his ideals, not, in any way, hurt you. I merely face frustration...you cling to Skywalker's opinion so blindly. I fail to understand..."

She lifted her head from the bed high enough to shout, "If he's dead now then I guess it's none of your business!"

"He isn't dead," Ren knocked again. "We would have felt it. Rey, I never said I wouldn't help you." He frowned, knowing someday he might regret this.

He heard more stirring. Slowly the door cracked, revealing half of her face. She stared at him through red, puffy eyes, skeptical at first. Then turning, she left the door open and made her way back to the edge of the bed. Following her through the doorway, Ren quietly stepped into the center of the room.

Seeing her on the bed, he couldn't help but think if things had gone differently the night before. If only she would let go. He knew now that she never would.

To his surprise, she spoke first, "You'll reach for Luke and your mother?"

"No," he couldn't bear the intense look of disappointment on her face. But he could kill the confusion. "I'm going to teach you how to the reach for them. You'll do it on your own."

"Luke could be clinging to a thread! Walking into a trap! In prison! Dying! He spared and saved your life!" She couldn't believe him.

"All the more reason for you to learn." He shook his head. "I won't betray Snoke. But I'll help you."

"Snoke doesn't want you!" She repeated through her teeth. "You're the one who clings to opinions! Stubborn. Lost. Completely misled!"

"I've yet to see this proof," he looked at her, admiring her anger. The same beautiful snarl she'd given him on Takodana. Content, he began, "Let us be honest, again. Am I to understand you want things to work between us? That you want to be with me? Only our beliefs stand in the way?"

"There isn't time for this!" She threw her hands up, rose from the bed, and began pacing. She moved to the window, crossed her arms, holding herself against fear. "Luke's been gone too long!"

He nodded, wanting to curse. "Yes. As you wish, then. I'll teach you. But then we must be brutally frank with one another. I want you to be honest. You have to decide. I have to have a final answer, I won't ask again."