Ordered

Chapter 28: In Which A Fight In the Rain Goes Wrong

(Rated: PG? Mild cursing)

"Again," Ren shouted through the rain.

She was panting, nearly out of breath. Soaked from the downpour.

The tender side of his heart, the place he held her dear, wanted to stop. However, he suppressed the feeling, knowing he couldn't let his compassion get in the way of her training.

Arms raised, Ren ignored the lightning flash. He swung the stick. It crashed against Rey's block as she struggled to hold him back. The strength was there, but her focus waxed and waned. She wanted to stop, to return indoors. But that would solve nothing. Regardless of the storm, he would make her fight.

When the next pop of lightning hit right beside them, Ren felt her fear stronger than before. She took several steps back, retreating. This wasn't like her. He thought she'd grown from child-like actions long ago. It took him back fifteen years. To the fateful night, he and the Knights of Ren fought through the storm at the Jedi Academy. Raeh, her would-be step-father was dead, but Ren's darling wife would have a thousand other enemies. She had to learn. She had to fight! He wouldn't always be there to save her.

He kept his fighting stance but closed the distance between them.

"I thought you lacked fear," he leered in frustration, angered that she wasn't giving the fight her all. She was capable of so much more.

"Yes," she impeded his strike, "But this is insanity!"

"No!" He swung and missed. His vexation at her lack of fight was making his aim careless. More so, because she didn't feel his mistake and use it to her advantage. "There's never any rest from it!"

She backed onto the stone steps, taking one, then two backwards in the direction home. Her gaze never left Ben. "Luke would know when to fight and when to leave!"

Ren dug his grasp harder around the makeshift weapon. Skywalker. It was always about Skywalker. How could she think of him, when he wasn't here? When he wasn't the one training her? When he wasn't the one who truly cared?

"I'm not training you to be a coward," he hissed into the storm. His boot met the first step.

"Lucky I know the difference between a coward and a fool!"

With her callous words, she turned and darted down the ancient, winding steps. She meant to escape. Her figure pressed forward through the rain. Making progress, her pace was notable swift and full of panic. But Ren wasn't finished with his challenge. He gave chase. Healed, save for the pink scar tissue, he would catch her. His legs were longer, and even with his darkened eye, he felt his surroundings, took the stairs two at a time.

Rey felt desperate not to be caught. If she could only reach the Temple, her safe haven. There she could wait out the storm in her peaceful sanctuary. They could finish this mock battle later.

But he was gaining on her. Every footstep became precious. At any moment, she might be pained to resist his power. With practice, she'd found the ability to slow the blaster's laser beams. However, holding back Ren, for more than a few moments, was an entirely different matter.

Ren didn't waste time. Soon he was upon her, only a length away from touching her and ending the careless game. He willed her to try harder. She had the power to face him if she would only trust and turn to stand her ground.

But when her spine slammed on the hard, grey stones, it was too late.

If the edge of the step in front of her hadn't chipped away, she might have sought a new route of escape. But she scarcely remembered anything, save the pain, when she came crashing down. Falling, seemingly, forever.

As Ren watched her body crash, time halted.

He damned that he wasn't able to warn her. Damned that he wasn't able to catch her. Damned when her body fell perfectly still on the sodden, muddy ground.

She wasn't moving.

He wasn't sure he'd ever had a worst nightmare, until now.

He couldn't find his voice. His limbs felt too slow, useless, as he wanted, needed, to rush to her.

He'd never forgive himself.

He'd been alone and he'd been lonely. But he'd had his cause, the First Order, to fill the void. But then, he'd found her and the potential. Someone strong with the Force. Clever. Beautiful. With a similar legacy of suffering. Then he'd felt the connection and the wonders of her mind.

She'd challenged him. Haunted him. His sole peer in the galaxy. Reeling, he'd wanted her as his ally. The one person who could understand Kylo Ren. Then, without warning, he'd also wanted more. To be the person she longed for, to be the man she envisioned her life with, to be one with her, her companion, lover, the father of her children.

She'd dreamed of an ocean. Of a contented life there. Including the unknown, nameless, faceless man who she'd someday meet and marry. Ren had allowed himself to be greedy. To covet the role. Now he held that title, and it made all the difference to him.

Having known her, he was now powerless to undo her impact. He could not reverse time. He would never be able to go back to who he was before their blessed, but flawed companionship. The First Order alone could never hold a candle or fill the void, ever again.

Frantic, he slid over her, searching for signs of trauma. No blood. Only the sludge and filth of the storm. Stifling the panic, he reminded himself he'd sense it if she were dead. They were connected. Forever bonded. Compassion. The blood contract. And so much more. He was just beginning to discover. It couldn't end now. He'd never let it end.

Although she would deny it, he knew, they were two broken pieces forming a whole. Together, they could be unstoppable, a utilized fire, the likes of which the galaxy had never witnessed. By the Force, he was hilt, and she was the crystal within. Without her, he was only a blunt metal casing. He needed her.

He cradled her neck with his hands, and forgetting himself, the attempts at platonic friendship, he pulled her torso against him. He rocked her, feeling her breath, as they withstood the rain's onslaught.

"Damn it, Rey," he swore. Thankful the rain was masking the frustration in his eye. "Why didn't you stand and fight?"

His emotions were full and he couldn't help brushing his lips to her cool forehead.

"Be furious with me," he begged her.