Ordered

Chapter 39: In Which Ren's Family Returns

(Rated: G)

A week later, Ren stood knee-deep in the sea, waves crashing around his thighs.

That morning, he'd used the last of the expired freeze-dried First Order portions in the Command Shuttle's small galley. Out of supplies, by late afternoon, the threat of his growling stomach had become a problem he could no longer ignore. Though he was certainly tempted, he refused to return to the hovel. He had given Rey his word. He would wait until she was ready with her answer. If she remembered anything about him, he hoped she would recall he kept his word as a gentleman.

To remedy his problem, he had fashioned a makeshift fishing spear out of a twisted deflector shield projector, wire, and glass from the Command Shuttle's landing lights.

He repeatedly threw the spear, retrieved it from the waves, and caught nothing each time. Still, he held back his frustration, determined to spear his next meal without using the Force.

It was a matter of pride. Some weeks ago, Rey had casually bragged that his uncle had quite remarkable fishing skills. That, even if the old man hadn't been a Jedi, Luke could have made a living from the sea. Some nonsense about his uncle being a great sportsman from his practice with womp rats on Tatooine. Ren would be damned if he didn't prove he was just as skilled at ordinary tasks as Skywalker. Skywalker would not outman him in any form or fashion.

Mid-throw, Ren was suddenly grabbed by Rey's proximity, and the dull ache in his heart surged into a piercing pain. He abruptly halted and allowed the spear to bob and float away without care. Immediately scanning the horizon, Ren's eyes landing on the Temple's entrance. He hesitated. A second later Rey exited, looking tired and sad, but every bit as beautiful to him, with her emotions completely unguarded. Ren's awareness of her quickly intensified. He hadn't heard her prayer this time, but he sensed, and the Forced seemed to echo, that she'd made some definite decision. He didn't dare read her mind, she would instantly know and shut him out, but all the same, he felt her distress. He tensed, turning his gaze from her to the sky above in desperation. He knew visiting the Temple usually brought Rey a great sense of peace. Something had drastically changed.

She aimlessly drew near to the Temple's ledge with her thoughts appearing to be a hundred lightyears away, but her eyes closely watching the movement of the sea. Following the tide, her eyes eventually landed on his, he was sure, by mere chance.

Meeting her mournful gaze seemed more like a vision than a reality. When her face softened with sweet recognition, his heart might have crashed with the waves. He had missed her. Seeing her hurt, and he was sure that she knew it. Only anger, mediation, and great willpower had kept him from returning to her side. The first night away he had smashed everything not soldered to the walls of the Command Shuttle. With each slam of his fist, he imaged he had destroyed Snoke's twisted face. Destruction fueled his inner strength until he drove his hand through a crystal projection screen, and spent the rest of the early morning picking the shards from his arm and hand.

In the present, he felt at a loss for words. She was so beautiful, yet uncommonly dispirited. Feeling strangely exposed by her gaze, Ren slowly crossed his arms, guarding himself against the pain he was sure to endure. He considered carefully, such an abrupt decision from her was unlikely to restore their fragile relationship. He loved her and would always love her. There was no escaping the agony in his heart, but he would know her answer soon enough, and he would have to honor her wishes. He was certain she was only delaying the inevitable and trying to be kind by avoiding him until Skywalker returned.

Ren had ruminated over their last conversation and precisely recalled Rey's reasoning, "I'm not sure, it can work, given who we are."

Who...We...Are. He was sure she meant darkness and light, the oldest prejudice in the galaxy.

He struggled, wondering if the dark side would take everything from him. His agony flickered, and his bitterness grew until he held back the beginning of hot tears.

Harnessing the dark side's power had always come so easily to him. He had never had a talent for the light, despite his uncle's best efforts. Young and frustrated, he had taken the quick and powerful path giving in to his pains and passions. Embracing the light, after all this time, would mean unlearning everything. He couldn't go back. He couldn't reverse time. He wasn't a child or even the youth that had left the Academy ever so many years ago for the Knights of Ren. He wouldn't struggle again. He was darkness. There was no way around the truth.

If she couldn't love him for what he was, then he would accept her decision with dignity. It was all he could do.

Watching her, he was convinced, when her gaze ceased, she would continue back to the hovel without so much as a word to him. However, always unpredictable, ever a mystery, she did not do as he expected. Instead, her voice carried out to him on the wind with heartfelt concern.

"If it's fish you want, Ben, you might try going deeper!"

Ren managed a half crooked smile through his pain. She cared. But had she listened to her heart?

Unable to mask his bitterness, he shouted over the waves, "Is that what Skywalker would do?"

She quickly broke their reuniting stare, shaking her head with defeat, her annoyance at him so clear Ren regretted mentioning his moral compass of an uncle. His mouth seemed only able to make mistakes in front of her. He had once thought himself eloquent. A gentleman. Now he was only a sharp-tongued buffoon.

Yet, he still knew, somehow, she cared, else there would be no reason for her disappointment in him.

As she turned and moved from the cliff, Ren grieved her absence once more. The odd shift in her emotions did not dissipate as she went.

"I can feel your emotions disturbing the Force," he called after her. "You still have so much to learn." He mostly muttered to himself. If Skywalker failed to finish her training when he returned, Ren knew personally how easily she could fall into Snoke's grasp.

Just then, almost at the thought of Skywalker, the Force seized Ren in an altogether different manner. Without warning, a familiar chill settled over Ren, filling him with dread. He looked to the sky. There was no denying that power. He sensed a vastly light presence that could only be Skywalker in the flesh. Another light, but vengeful, ping was with him, too. General Leia Organa Solo.

Seconds later, the engine sounds of a Corellian YT-1300f light freighter broke into the atmosphere. It was a ship Ren knew very well, causing childhood memories and feelings to flood to mind. How many hundreds of times had he heard and seen the piece of junk come and go? For a brief instant, Ren could almost imagine the freighter of his youth was returning with Han Solo once more.

The thought faded as the ship drew near. Ren could tell by the unique casual flying style that Chewbacca was now in the pilot's seat. He supposed the old man would have wanted it that way.

At the Falcon's side a worn, but loved X-wing from the days of the Rebel Alliance followed; his uncle's heroic Red Five. Together the ships circled over the island, carefully preparing to land.

Suddenly, Rey rushed back to the side of the cliff.

"Come with me to greet them!" She yelled down to him. Her melancholy resolving. She had waited for this day a long time.

Ren braced himself, his heart burning. Their time together was done. The end was near. Soon the animosity would be over, and he hadn't the faintest idea where in the galaxy he would go.

"I couldn't possibly." He held his head high.

"You can't run from them forever," she shouted back. "They're your family!"