Jim Kirk & Lucy

Finaly, Peace and Quiet! Or maybe not.

[ Lucy's POV ]

It's been 3 months, 12 days and 11 hours since I've been out of MedBay.

But its been 4 months since Khan has been missing.

Sometimes when I'm lying peacefully in bed sleeping, I begin to hear his voice. It doesn't sound cold or dark, it sounds sweet and calming. Then I see his face, smiling at me. I hear screams come from nowhere. Then, Khan holds something dead in front of me, it's limp, bloody and bruised. But it's not Jim this time, it's not Uhura or Mike, McCoy or anyone else that I call family. The person he's holding, is me!

I quickly sat up, sweat trickling down my forehead.

It was still dark outside, the stars twinkling and the moon shining brightly.

I threw off the covers and got out of bed. These nightmares have been happening a lot lately, and when they end, I usually have a hard time breathing (kind of like I'm having an anxiety attack). But this time, I'm determined to fight it.

I ran into my bathroom and turned on the faucet. I then cupped my hands underneath the running water and splashed it on my face. I grabbed a towel that was beside me, and I dried my face.

I stared into the mirror for awhile, just looking at myself.

"Maybe Khan is gone." I said to myself.

As I said that, all the terrible memories came flooding back.

It was just to much for me to take this time. I started to suck in every breath I took. Hot tears were streaming down my face and my body was shaking uncontrollably.

I quickly got out of my bathroom and went to my nightstand, luckily my communicator was there.

I pushed a few buttons and waited for someone to answer.

"Lucy," McCoy said tiredly,"do you have any idea what time it is?"

"McCoy," my voice cracked, I tried not to sob,"I need you to get here NOW!"

The com was silent for a second.

"I'm on my way." McCoy answered.

About 10-15 minutes later, McCoy came through my door.

"Lucy?" He called out,"where are you?"

"Over here," I answered.

I was on the other side of my bed, hugging my knees to my chest, rocking back and forth in a corner. My pajama pants had tear stains on them.

When McCoy had finally found me, I looked up at him with sad eyes.

Then I just started sobbing uncontrollably, I let out all the tears.

McCoy had set down his medical equipment, sat on the floor in front of me, and pulled me close to him.

"I'm so sorry," I sobbed,"I thought I could fight it, but I can't! I just can't!"

"Hey," McCoy's voice was now quiet,"don't put yourself down, that won't do you any good. The only way to get better at it is to keep fighting it!"

After that day, I didn't have any more nightmares about Khan. But I never did mention my death to McCoy that night he came to help me. In fact, I never told anyone. I didn't know why I kept it a secret, but I felt that if I did tell someone, something bad was going to happen to them.