March One Shots (girlxgirl)

"Never Have I Ever."

"Never Have I Ever."

MarchxSailor

DawnxSailor

MarchxRemi

I don't know why on earth I agreed to this, but we're playing a game of Never Have I Ever, non-alcoholic version since Remi and I are playing. Remi doesn't drink because she's had to deal with an alcoholic father and I've watched the pain of TWO of my best friends deal with alcoholic fathers, plus I have some family that's gone through the same struggle. I'm never going to drink, legal or not. Of course I'll make an exception when it comes to communion and baking, but I'm not going to recreationally drink. Never have I ever touched a drop of alcohol in my life, I admit.

It's Remi, Sailor, Dawn, Serendipity, and I playing. We're at some Sweet 16 party and went off on our own. It's the early hours of morning, when it's still dark out, and we're sitting in a circle, shot glasses of soda raised, outside next to a bonfire. Wispy figures dance around the fires and sparks popping alternating with cricket chirps are the background to our little game.

I started. "Never have I ever touched a drop of alcohol that wasn't communion."

Sailor, Dawn, and Serendipity raised their glasses and drank. I snickered at Serendipity and she decidedly got aggressive.

"Never have I ever kissed a girl." Serendipity shot.

I sighed and raised my cup to drink. I noticed Remi, unsure of herself, drank from hers, but I noted that Sailor and Dawn particularly shared a peek at each other as both drank. Yep, I know your secret too, dears.

Remi knows that I kissed her, that one fateful night when she talked in the depths of her sleep. I thought she knew. I really did. I was confused and crushing on most everyone I knew, so what could I have done but fall? I screwed up, but anyone would have in my position. It's just that...all of my crushes were so STRONG. On ANYONE. Only the crushes on Sailor and Dawn remain though, and while Dawn's is dim, Sailor's will remain forever bright, perhaps a lighthouse I can use to guide my way into her heart.

Dawn burped and we chuckled at her. It was a pretty cute burp, in my mind. "Never have I ever rode a camel."

I drank up and they all looked at me curiously.

"Did you really now?" inquired Sailor.

I nodded. "Yep. I rode a camel when I was four in the shadow of the Great Wall. Then, I went and rode a horse by myself, unaided. It wasn't even one of those rides at the fair where you go around in a circle and the horses are all tied up, this was on a mini trail. I can still remember the bump thing in front of the saddle that the guy told me to hold onto."

"That's the horn. So you rode Western then?" interjected Dawn.

I smiled. "Yeah, that's the one."

Dawn lives on a horse farm, so of course she knows lots about horses and riding them. I've rode before, but it's nothing compared to the experience she must have.

"Never have I ever jumped a curb with my car!" burst out an impatient Remi and we went on from there.

Other than the, "Never have I ever kissed a girl," questions stayed pretty innocent. The next one got darker though.

Sailor announced, "Never have I ever had sex in my dreams."

Serendipity, Dawn, and I drank to that; I most shamefully. I really don't want to talk about my sex dream. Not when it was with...yep, Sailor. Awkward much?

"Never have I ever had sex in my dreams with a girl." countered Serendipity.

Jerk, she knows about my sex dream and who it was with. I unwillingly drank from my shot as Dawn followed suit. Ooh, a showdown is coming. But who could Dawn have dreamed of?

Remi, who was too shocked at this point to go, left Sailor to go again. "Never have I ever had sex in my dreams with a girl in this group."

Both Dawn and I again drank up. Oh great, I'm pretty sure I know who Dawn's drinking about. This is going to suck if she finds out this way and I'm right, not Dawn, but...

"Who is it?!" Remi interjected with uncontrollable anxiousness.

Dawn stared me down and asked the question I was waiting for. "Never have I ever had sex in my dreams with a girl who wasn't Sailor."

I DIDN'T drink to that, while Sailor, Remi, and Serendipity nervously took drinks around us.

[...]

Well, now everyone knew that I wasn't a dream virgin and I had dreamed of sex with Sailor. That's leaving quite the bitter taste in my mouth. I just wish Sailor didn't have to know that I liked her just that much so soon. It's not a charming thing to know about a friend.

We were all leaving the party and I could see Dawn walking away into the darkness. I pulled her aside and hissed at her, "Dawn!"

"March!" Dawn was surprised at first to see me, but easily cooled into an unreadable mood.

I dared to ask her my burning question. "How much do you like Sailor?"

"Enough to have an erotic dream with her." Dawn chuckled harshly. "Although you as well? Why you, March?"

"Do you want to be with her?" I implored.

Dawn smirked. "Oh so very much. But you do as well, but don't you realize you haven't a chance? What do you honestly think you have going for her? Don't you know I'll be the one to win her? I have history with her, I could play her music from my clarinet which will always allow someone space in Sailor's heart, but that history is something you could never beat. She will go for me. How could you ever think you have a chance of being with Sailor, when I've already gotten there first?"

"Do you love her?" I easily ignored Dawn's analytic comments.

Dawn's gaze shifted from side to side. "Well..."

"Do you love her?" I repeated myself.

Dawn craned her neck to pop the sore muscles and as a show of dominance. "No. But I have lust, which will be enough."

"I love Sailor, Dawn. I love her. Lust is wavering; lust is temporary. But love, love will never end, love will never fade, and love will always win. I can win Sailor, not because of charm, or history, or even serenade, but with honest love for her. I will be true to her. And you? What if you find some other beautiful girl or handsome man? You will run away and break her heart. I have love and my love will never let me leave her." I declared confidently.

Dawn scoffed. "How can you know that you're in love with her? You're young, we all are, can true love truly come at such an early time in our lives? How do you know your affection is in love and not in something shallow, like pride?"

"I am in no way worthy of Sailor; it is not pride that ever drives me. And I know I have love for her. It's been over a year since I discovered tangible feelings for the same-gender, and some were directed towards Sailor. I tried to ignore it, but all-in-all, my want for her has never declined, but always grown stronger, weaved tendrils of affection through every strand of my heart muscles. If I can remain to want her in dreams, in reality, for years, what else could it be but love? I understand I will have to compete with you for her affections, but I believe that love will win. Love is the answer, lust will grow to be nothing." I finished.

Dawn stalked off, but had one last retort for me. "We shall see."