March One Shots (girlxgirl)

"Speak Out."

Note: f-bomb cursing in this one (due to the song choice) that is not censored...

"Speak Out."

MarchxSailor

song: Fake It by Seether

I'm in English class, I'm kinda zoning out from the discussion over Victorian Age literature, and I'm mentally playing a song that describes how I feel about this class, this school, and this heterosexist society I'm trapped in. If things were equal, I could be with Sailor. Although Sailor would have to like me back, but there's the possibility she does and I'm just being a wimp by not even approaching her, but it's really, really hard to tell someone that I love them for me, when it's just friend love, and not actual...I love you love.

"March? March?"

The voice of the teacher drifts slowly into my conscious.

"Yes?" I inquired earnestly.

My friend, Phyllis, the best one I have in this class, mouthed to me, "You were head-banging!"

Well, I was listening to a rock song in my head, what do you expect?

"Anything you would like to share with the class, March?" implored the teacher.

I smiled. "Oh, I was just listening to a song in my head."

"Would you like to share the song with the rest of the class, lyrics and all?" I think she was trying to punish me by now, but I didn't care. I might as well sing the song to the whole room, so they know exactly what I think of them. Besides Phyllis, of course, but she doesn't even know I'm gay.

I stood up and sung. "Who's to know if your soul will fade at all,

The one you sold to fool the world,

You lost your self-esteem along the way,

Yeah...

Good God, you're coming up with reasons,

Good God, you're dragging it out,

Good God, it's the changing of the seasons,

I feel so raped,

So follow me down...

And just fake it if you're out of direction,

Fake it if you don't belong here,

Fake it if you feel like infection,

Whoa you're such a fucking hypocrite...

And you should know that the lies won't hide your flaws,

No sense in hiding all of yours,

You gave up on your dreams along the way,

Yeah...

Good God, you're coming up with reasons,

Good God, you're dragging it out,

Good God, it's the changing of the seasons,

I feel so raped,

So follow me down...

And just fake it if you're out of direction,

Fake it if you don't belong here,

Fake it if you feel like infection,

Whoa you're such a fucking hypocrite...

Whoa...

Whoa...

I can fake with the best of anyone,

I can fake with the best of em all,

I can fake with the best of anyone,

I can fake it all...

Who's to know if your soul will fade at all,

The one you sold to fool the world,

You lost your self-esteem along the way,

Yeah...

Good God, you're coming up with reasons,

Good God, you're dragging it out,

Good God, it's the changing of the seasons,

I feel so raped,

So follow me down...

And just fake it if you're out of direction,

Fake it if you don't belong here,

Fake it if you feel like infection,

Whoa you're such a fucking hypocrite...

Fake it if you're out of direction,

Fake it if you don't belong here,

Fake it if you feel like infection,

Whoa you're such a fucking hypocrite!"

I breathed deeply for air and I looked around the room at how every face stared at me. Was this what coming out was going to be, stares from around the room like I'm a freak show? Maybe I shouldn't have sung this song for them, but it was just on my mind, and it fit so perfectly to be cramming down their throats when they sit there, in their perfect lives and I don't feel like I belong at all. I'm the bi kid in the mix of their straightness.

"And does that song have any connection to the Victorian Age?" My teacher was at it again.

I grinned innocently. "Well, the motto we picked for the age, 'I pretend, therefore I am,' is about the paradox of the Victorian Age, how people would put on 'masks' of themselves in public and go home to reveal a totally different personality when they were all alone, and I feel that 'faking it' is the same as the 'pretending' and 'hypocriticalness' they did in the Victorian Age."

"Good, March."

Wait, really?

"Have a piece of candy."

I was handed the candy bucket and I remembered, Hey, it's Friday! In this class, on Fridays, certain class participation earns a piece of candy, which I guess I just did? Cool.

Maybe it's a sign for me to start speaking out?