translucent [markson]

[Twenty Three] Unjustified

Mark couldn't sleep. Knowing that he hurt Jackson, a person he grew to really care about, made it difficult to think about anything else. Jackson's hurt expression was burned into his mind; those bright and happy eyes Mark grew to know had suddenly lost its light become dull.

No matter what he did, he couldn't think about anything else. Jackson was like a disease, permanently tainting Mark in ways that could be dangerous. Mark tried to distract himself with his phone and drowning his thoughts out with music, but nothing could tear Jackson out of his mind. When he gave up, he rolled around on his bed with the hope that he could sleep away his guilt, only to watch the sunrise through his window.

Faking being sick suddenly seemed really appealing to Mark. Besides the fact that he really didn't want to face anyone, he wasn't sure he'd be able to get through the day. He still felt wide awake, but he knew his energy wouldn't last. And Yugyeom's yelling wasn't helping Mark feel any better either.

For the past ten minutes since the sun had risen, Yugyeom had been seemingly scolding Jackson. Mark couldn't make out the words, but he was certain that it was Yugyeom's voice. It was hard for Mark to imagine such a gentle and kindhearted boy act so aggressively; however, Yugyeom's height and somewhat muscular build definitely had the potential to be scary.

As Mark worried about Jackson losing his only remaining friend, Yugyeom was doing his best to not murder Jackson. Yugyeom had woken up to go to the bathroom when he stumbled across the notes. Notes that threatened Jackson to back off and called him a slut were everywhere. Some laid on the floor, seemingly having been shoved under the door, and some were taped around the general area of their dorm. It wasn't until he read through them that he understood what happened.

"Get your ass up, Jackson Wang," Yugyeom commanded, not bothering to keep his voice quiet.

"What? What happened?" Jackson sat up in his bed, groggy and annoyed.

"Explain to me why these are here." Though Yugyeom figured out that Jackson made some sort of move on Mark, he wanted to hear what happened from Jackson himself.

"These... I don't know where these are from. Someone must have put these around in the middle of the night." Jackson looked at the papers that had just been thrown into his lap, a sense of defeat and guilt striking him. He suddenly felt terrible that Yugyeom had to share a room with him.

"That's not what I'm asking. What happened?" Yugyeom's previously harsh expression softened as he climbed up the bunk bed to sit next to Jackson.

"Nothing happened. Everyone just started acting up again," Jackson lied. Yugyeom sighed and pulled Jackson into a hug.

"I know that something happened, but I'm not going to take anyone's word for it except yours. Just tell me what's wrong."

Jackson was split in two. He really didn't want to have to talk about Mark or think about how heartbroken he was. However, he could feel Yugyeom's insistence pressuring him to spill.

"I accidentally told Mark that I like him." Silence filled the room until Yugyeom moved so he was kneeling, glaring down at Jackson.

"There are so many reasons I want to kill you right now," Yugyeom whispered, causing Jackson to be taken aback. He took a deep breath before yelling, "What the hell?!"

"What? I don't-"

"Why are you so fucking stupid? I'm your best friend! First, you don't tell me that you apparently like Mark. Next, you tell Mark that you like him and you don't tell me that you told him. Then, all this shit with these notes happens and I didn't know why until now. You're supposed to tell me these things! Keeping all your feelings bottled up like I know you've been keeping them is not healthy."

And Yugyeom didn't stop. For the next few minutes (Jackson lost track of time), he continued, going so far as to bringing up things that happened in the past that Jackson didn't want to recall. If Jackson were to be honest, he wanted to burst into tears. With all that had happened in the past few hours, he was very overwhelmed with emotions. Yugyeom's yelling certainly wasn't making anything better.

"I'm sorry," Jackson mumbled, his eyes stinging and lips quivering.

"Shit, Jackson. I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay. Just hug me, you asshole."

~

Mark ended up going to his classes, a decision he greatly regretted. Everything was off and Mark couldn't tell exactly what it was. He was aware that part of it was because everyone treated him like nothing happened while Jackson became the laughing stock of the school; still, there was something else bothering him.

He didn't even understand what was so funny about Jackson confessing his feelings. Jackson was being genuine, and Mark was sure of it. All their classmates claimed that Jackson was only trying to get into Mark's pants, but they didn't know Jackson. They laughed at what they thought was a poor acting job while Mark knew he really hurt Jackson. Underneath all the guilt and regret, Mark was angry.

To top off Mark's confusion, Jackson was different. Jackson's posture was slumped and he was wearing different clothes. Instead of walking with his shoulders straight and eyes looking up, he seemed to be hiding in his baggy shirt, shying away from everyone. In place of his usual jersey or t-shirt was a large sweater that drooped a good few inches past his hands. Mark couldn't deny that he looked even more adorable than usual when he wore pink, but that didn't make him any less concerned.

It didn't fully sink in until lunch that Mark really fucked up. His two classes with Jackson were terrible since the latter refused to even make eye contact with Mark; everything after those painful two hours -- including a freshman trying to kiss Mark and a senior tripping Jackson -- only added to it all.

"Who pissed in your cereal?" BamBam asked, pulling Mark out of his thoughts.

"I... uh- nothing. I was just thinking about homework."

"Come on, that's terrible. If you're going to lie to us, at least make it believable," Jinyoung teased, sassily taking a bite out of his apple.

"Are you thinking about what happened yesterday?" BamBam asked. Mark just stared at his food, avoiding BamBam's question. "Because you shouldn't. What happened is already past. Now you're in the clear."

"In the clear? What the hell does that mean?" Mark growled, his lips forming a scowl.

"You don't have to deal him anymore. No more stress."

"I think that's taking a bit far," Jinyoung interjected.

"Come on. You can't deny that it's stressful when someone's trying to coax you into bed," BamBam retorted. Mark could feel his nostrils flare at the bullshit that was spouting out of BamBam's mouth.

"I... I guess. But he's still just another human. Saying things like that is mean, no matter who it's directed to." Jinyoung became silent as he pretended to read the book in front of him.

While Mark and BamBam continued to bicker, Jinyoung began scheming. He didn't know any more about what happened between Mark and Jackson than any other students in the school and he was determined to figure out the truth. He knew something was odd about all the rumours that were going around, so Jinyoung wanted to figure out firsthand what really happened. His plan was to get the answer out of Jackson -- since Mark wouldn't tell him no matter how hard he tried -- and the only way he could think of getting to Jackson was through lying and false pretenses.

Besides, what would be a better excuse for Jinyoung to get close to his long time crush than making him feel wanted when he wasn't?