translucent [markson]

[Thirty Three] Smile

When Jackson woke up to Mark staring at him from the end of his bed, he was more than surprised. It was quite creepy for Mark to just watch him sleep, but it was also kind of cute. The look of pure fondness Mark had made Jackson's heart race and Mark was well aware of his effect—that's why he didn't look away.

"Stop looking at me like that," Jackson whined, pulling his blanket up his nose. Besides being embarrassed, he was also not wearing a shirt and felt self conscious.

"But you look so cute." Mark smiled, proud of how flustered he was making Jackson.

"How did you even get in here?' Jackson used his left hand to pat around his bed, trying to find the shirt he took off in the middle of the night. Mark didn't get to answer, as Yugyeom popped his head up from the bottom bunk and butted into the conversation.

"I hope you're suffering," Yugyeom deadpanned, an evil smirk growing onto his lips. "This is what you get for not telling me that you had a boyfriend."

"Hey, it happened only yesterday morning. The next time I saw you after he asked was after the rumors spread," Jackson argued. The pleading look on Jackson's face was too much for Yugyeom to handle, so Yugyeom ended up throwing a random shirt from the ground at Jackson's face.

"I hate you," Yugyeom mumbled, shaking his head as he returned to his own business.

"That's disappointing. I was looking forward to seeing your abs."

"Seriously, stop." Jackson gently slapped Mark's arm, only causing the other to laugh. "Why are you here anyways?"

"I had an amazing idea and I needed you to know right away." Mark took Jackson's hands and stared him dead in the eyes as he continued, "We should skip school today."

"Skip school? What? Am I speaking to Mark Tuan right now?" A look of disbelief and slight disappointment was apparent as Jackson hopped down from the top bunk to the floor.

"Do I sound like I'm joking?" Mark followed Jackson, moving to stand right in Jackson's path.

"We go to a boarding school, we can't just skip," Jackson retorted, nudging Mark out of the way to grab his glasses.

"BamBam and Yugyeom can lie for us. Just tell the school that we're sick or something." Mark's eyes widened into a pout, and Jackson couldn't help but falter and the sight.

"What would we do anyway? Everyone in the area knows that there's school, so we can't really leave the dorms. We'd just be stuck here."

"Would that be so bad?" Mark jokingly gave Jackson a suggestive look, only resulting him in getting an eye roll. "But seriously, I just want to spend time with you. And it'd be too burdensome to have to deal with our classmates' drama after what I did yesterday. I don't regret what happened, but I must admit that it was a bit reckless."

"What happened to the model student that I knew?" Jackson tried to return the pout Mark had given a moment ago, but Yugyeom got in the way when he lightly slapped Jackson's face as he walked past him and towards the door.

"I'll do it. Do you want me to tell the teachers you're sick?" Yugyeom sent Jackson a look that made it clear what he wanted the answer to be.

"Fine. I better not regret this, Mark." Suddenly, Jackson's vision was completely blocked by Mark's hair as Mark grabbed him and jumped up and down.

"Yay! Yugyeom, could you tell BamBam to tell my teachers for me?" Yugyeom gave Mark a sweet smile and nodded, walking out of the room. "We'll have fun, I promise."

"We better."

~

When Jackson found himself with his head resting on Mark's lap and a book in his hands, he couldn't lie and say he minded it. Initially, Jackson had expected Mark would at least watch a movie with him or something; now, however, Jackson was glad Mark didn't have anything more planned.

"We're so boring, you know," Jackson spoke up, laying his book down next to him. "We skipped classes to read in my room."

"This is a good book, okay?" Mark looked away from his own book to glance down at Jackson. Jackson looked so innocent and adorable that Mark couldn't help but grin.

Jackson scrunched up his face to jokingly tease Mark. "I think mine is better."

"It isn't, okay? Trust me." Mark placed the book into Jackson's face, the page he was just reading now laying on his boyfriend's head.

"Yup. I see now how good it is," Jackson joked, his voice muffled by the pages.

"Why are we so weird?" Mark spoke under his breath, taking the book off Jackson so they could make eye contact.

"It doesn't matter, does it? I like us the way we are." Jackson's sickeningly sweet expression made Mark's heart flutter, and Mark quickly found himself to be leaning closer and closer to Jackson's lips. When their lips met, Mark lingered a little longer than what would be considered a quick peck.

"Yup. This is perfect," Mark agreed, smiling down at Jackson.

"We're so gross and cheesy and we've only been dating for a day."

"Your point?" Mark had to admit that they were kind of disgustingly cute, but he knew it was only because they both really liked each other. It wasn't his fault other people might think weirdly of it.

"I don't know. It was just an observation." Jackson shrugged half-heartedly, and Mark immediately knew that Jackson wasn't telling him something.

"Tell me what you're really thinking." Mark simply watched as Jackson let out a sigh and sat up to look Mark in the eye.

"I know I shouldn't be thinking about other relationships when we're together, but I can't help it. I just keep thinking about how... how bad everything I've been through was. All anyone did was take advantage of me. But with you, I know you genuinely care for me." Jackson's cheeks and ears flushed red, causing him to pull his sweatshirt good up to try and hide it.

"This is kind of a personal question so you don't have to answer by any means, but why?" When Jackson gave Mark a confused look, he continued, "Why did you date so many people in the past?"

"It's stupid," Jackson began, unable to look Mark in the eyes. "It's stupid and pathetic why I did what I did, and all it did was make people hate me."

"I'm sorry I asked." Mark felt guilty about how uncomfortable he made Jackson and Jackson knew this; however, Jackson wanted to explain it all to Mark. He just didn't know how.

"Don't be. I want to tell you." Then Jackson's voice lowered until it was almost like he was only talking to himself. "But I don't want you to think any differently of me if I do."

"I promise I won't. I just want to know more about your life before we met. We haven't really talked about that stuff, so I was curious." Mark smiled and grabbed Jackson's hands, giving Jackson a small surge of confidence.

"I dated people in hopes of them making me feel like someone cared," Jackson spoke slowly. He waited for Mark to interject with something, but when nothing came, he just continued. "I know I have Yugyeom—and BamBam now, too—so it was kind of selfish of me from the start. Yugyeom's been pretty much every part of a family to me, and that's all I could ever need when a family was what I wanted. He cares for me like a parent, watches out for me like an older brother, needs to be protected like a younger brother, everything."

"Where is this going?" Mark gently cut in, not understanding how Yugyeom had to relate to the topic.

"Sorry. I'm kind of avoiding the answer. I'll just say it right now." Jackson took a deep breath, letting alo he wanted to say collect in his mind before he spoke. "I wanted to try to find someone that would make up for the fact that my parents didn't want me. I tried to fill in that empty gap, you know? My parents never really cared for me, and I just thought that maybe if someone loved me, it wouldn't matter that I didn't have anyone I could proudly call my family—besides Yugyeom and BamBam, anyway."

"I'm a little confused. What happened between you and your parents?"

Jackson smiled a little, knowing where he had to go with the conversation. "Let me start from the beginning."