translucent [markson]

[Thirty] Backwards

At about two in the morning, Jackson was still too giddy to fall asleep. After all that had happened, there were no words that described how amazing he felt. Not only did he get one of his best friends back, he also got a boyfriend on the same night. A technical boyfriend, anyway, because neither of them had officially asked the other out.

That fact didn't bother him. Mark was somewhat within his grasp now and he wasn't going to waste his chance. It was crazy for Jackson to think that, of all the people that had confessed to Mark, he chose the one person that he slapped in the face. That didn't bother Jackson either, since he was too kind to ever hold something like that against another person.

He was in such a good mood that he, for once, wasn't opposed to getting a snack. Ever since that day he overheard those two girls talking, he had been subconsciously cutting down the amount of food he ate each day. It had gotten to the point where the only thing he ate was a small portion of food that Yugyeom forced him to eat every evening, but quite honestly Jackson didn't mind that he was hungry. He was too busy with everything else to care about eating.

That's how Jackson found himself heading to the vending machines. With a little skip in his step, he made his way up to the fourth floor because everyone in the school knew that the fourth floor of the boys' dormitory building had the best snacks. It was unfortunate that his appetite disappeared the moment he heard two people talking.

"I want to kill him," a voice spoke, muffled through the door of whichever dorm he was in.

"There's no need for that," another voice responded, shaky and quiet. Jackson immediately recognised it as Jinyoung's voice.

"No! First, you tell me that he tries to make a move on you. Then you tell me that he's done this multiple times. Is that why he keeps coming over?" There was no answer from Jinyoung. "Seriously? Jackson Wang is so dead by tomorrow."

Jackson's heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name. What the hell did he do wrong? He couldn't recall doing anything to Jinyoung—especially not making a move on him. It slowly sunk in that Jinyoung was doing it on purpose; Yugyeom was right in saying he had to be careful.

Of course it was weird that Jinyoung asked Jackson to be his tutor right after one of the most embarrassing events in Jackson's life. Jackson felt so dumb that he didn't realise it sooner. Now it was too late and he had no idea what would happen to him come the next day.

~

Mark almost made Jackson forget about what happened. Seeing Mark waiting for him in the morning warmed Jackson's heart, but not enough to completely ease his worries. But as Jackson approached Mark, he couldn't stop the smile from slipping onto his lips.

"What's up with you today?" Jackson asked, staring at a squealing Mark.

"You look so cute!" Mark exclaimed, taking Jackson's hands in his own and jumping up and down.

"This is so unlike you. What happened?" Jackson's smile grew even more at the sight of Mark's energy.

"You! I'm so happy and you're so cute!" Mark stopped jumping and swung his hands side to side while still holding Jackson's. "You have your adorable little sweater paws and you're wearing your glasses for once."

"I don't have practice today," Jackson mumbled, cheeks burning at Mark's compliments.

"Does that mean we can hang out later?" Mark's hopeful, puppy dog eyes made Jackson's heart race.

"Sure." Jackson just smiled as Mark grabbed his hand and began dragging him down the hall.

"I'll walk you to your first period class," Mark told him, practically skipping.

"Seriously, why are you so weird today? You've never acted like this before." Jackson wasn't complaining, though.

"I don't really know what I'm doing since I've never really liked someone before, so I'm just doing what my gut tells me to. Most of it is just telling me not to hide anything from you anymore." Mark stopped skipping and waited until Jackson was at his side so they could have a more comfortable conversation.

"I didn't know you were so sweet and mushy under all that studying," Jackson teased, wrapping an arm around Mark's shoulder. Despite that action being familiar between Mark and Jackson, something had changed that made both their hearts race at the contact.

"I can be cute when I want to, thank you very much." Then silence followed, but not one that was awkward or weird. They just continued to walk, side by side, until they reached Jackson's Japanese class, where they gave a brief goodbye and parted.

The moment Mark left, Jackson became aware of all the eyes staring at him. No one had said anything yet, so Jackson just ignored them and took his seat. It wasn't that hard to do considering the class wasn't that big, but Jackson felt undeniably self conscious.

It was amazing how quickly word spread. Not even that many hours ago, Jackson had heard Jinyoung coming up with the lie that everyone seemed to now know. At that point, Jackson wasn't sure if it was even the rumours that made everyone hate him. He was almost sure that everyone hated him already and simply used the rumours to validate the otherwise reasonless hatred. At the thought, he almost frowned, but his disappointment quickly grew to pride.

As much as he hated being disliked, he was suddenly somewhat proud that he was able to make so many people hate him without trying. Sure, it was lonely and sad, but it was also sometimes entertaining and funny. He hated being by himself and feeling like he had no one; however, he was certain Yugyeom would never leave his side and as long as he had someone, it didn't matter all that much to him.

As the day progressed, his mood didn't change. He stayed proud and ignored everything his classmates said about him. It was like knowing that Mark was now on his side made him more confident, more tolerant. When his peers called him a slut, he didn't listen to them; when Jaebum told Mark that Jackson might rape him, Jackson and Mark shared a smile; when Jinyoung made eye contact with him, Jackson looked away.

His mood was slightly dampened when he heard about BamBam, however. He wasn't aware that BamBam was rumoured to be another person Jackson tried to make a move on. Since BamBam was like a younger brother to Jackson, it was almost repulsing for Jackson to think about even so much as kissing BamBam.

But Jackson had overheard enough conversations in the past to know how he was viewed. Besides the lack of evidence proving Jackson innocent, no one besides Mark and Yugyeom even knew that Jackson and BamBam had once been best friends. There wasn't much that could make his peers think otherwise, and it made Jackson feel suffocated by the seemingly endless situation.

Then it suddenly occurred to Jackson that people thought him to be an open book. His classmates saw him as someone easy to understand, someone not worth getting to know. Before meeting Mark, something like that wouldn't have bothered Jackson much. He didn't want to befriend someone who thought so little of him anyway. But after meeting Mark, he realised he was doing the same thing by assuming that about those people.

Mark initially thought he understood Jackson, yet Jackson still wanted to get to know him. Even when Mark had made it clear he wanted nothing to do with him, something inside Jackson told him there was more. There was more to Mark than what he thought of Jackson. If he continued to think Jackson was a terrible person, he would still be the charming guy Jackson had feelings for.

He was just glad that Mark was the one that looked deeper. He was absolutely elated that Mark was the one to turn the page and read on, the one to try and understand him. He was proud that Mark began to realise that he wasn't transparent, and that there was more to him than what he put out for others too see. He was excited Mark to take off the translucent cover that was clouding who he really was.

Even after the new rumor had spread, he knew Mark no longer believed anything anyone said about Jackson. Jackson was sure that Mark had stuck by his side throughout the day—especially after that smile they had shared—so he wasn't worried that Mark would suddenly change plans. Jackson was still going to head over to Mark's dorm after their classes and he was still planning on spending quality time with his boyfriend (or whatever Jackson could call Mark).

And Jackson would soon find that the amount of excitement bubbling in his stomach wouldn't compare to how happy he would be later that night.