translucent [markson]

[Nine] Confessions

By mid October, Mark was arguably the most popular person at JYP academy. Though Mark never intended for things to go the way they did, his classmates' nonstop chatter naturally pushed him to being so well-known.

He had to admit that he liked it. At his old schools, the most exciting thing he had done was watch other kids get scolded for small interruptions like wearing hats during class or talking back. When high school drama came around, he was never aware of what was happening. But now, he was the center of the drama.

For a while, the drama circulating Mark wasn't anything big. It was mostly about how well he was doing academically, and how good of a tutor he was. He heard a fair amount of people talking about how cool it was that he was American. One girl in particular he overheard ranting about how sweet it was that he came from not-so wealthy home and had to completely work his way to getting accepted. While he was slightly creeped out by how his life story had spread, he felt special that people thought of him so highly.

However, his reputation changed when Sana Minatozaki approached him.

He was doing his homework while sitting on a bench on campus. It was the weekend, so a fair amount of other people were hanging around outside. It had gotten a little chillier, but still warm enough to enjoy the weather, and Mark wanted to spend as much time outside as he could.

In the middle of solving a math problem, a shadow covered his view of his paper, causing him to look at whoever was standing in front of him. There stood Sana, a freshman he had met once when he accidentally bumped into her. They had only talked once, when they apologised to each other for being clumsy. Aside from that, Mark had sent friendly smiles her way when they made eye contact in the hall. Since they barely knew each other, Mark was clueless as to why she approached him so suddenly.

"Hi, Sana," Mark greeted, scooting over on the bench. He patted the spot next to him and she hesitantly sat down, making sure to leave a fair amount of space between them.

"Hi, Mark." Her voice was quiet and she was looking everywhere but at him. It made Mark slightly uncomfortable.

"Hey... Did you need something?" Mark didn't want to be rude, but it was obvious she had something to say, though he didn't know what it could be. The only possibility he could come up with was that she wanted him to tutor her, and that made no sense considering she was a good student.

"Yeah I..." Her voice trailed off as she became more uneasy.

"Take your time," Mark encouraged, his voice as polite as he could muster. Deep down, he was slightly annoyed that he couldn't do his homework, but he would never express it.

"Well, it's just..." She paused again, before continuing with uncertainty. "You're so kind and considerate towards everyone. I think it's amazing you can do that, considering how mean or annoying people can be.. That's why I... I really like you. Please give me a chance."

All Mark could do was blink. No one had ever confessed to him before, and, even if someone had, he wouldn't know how to react. Mark hated hurting other people's feelings, but he didn't have any romantic interest in her -- partially because she was almost a stranger, though mostly because he was gay. There was no way he would lie to her or lead her on, so all he could do was gently reject her.

"I'm sorry, Sana." The moment the words came out, a frown fell onto her lips. It took all he had to muster up the will to continue. "I don't like you that way, and I wouldn't want to fake anything. That would hurt the both of us. I'm sure you'll make someone really happy one day, though. Fighting!"

"I understand," she sighed, trying to hide her dejection. The sight of Mark's friendly smile and the fact he made the kind gesture of encouraging her to find someone else only made her like him more.

As she walked away, Mark couldn't help but feel terrible for making her so sad. He knew the situation couldn't have gone any other way; he just hoped she would move on quickly. It probably wasn't a serious crush, he figured, because high school romances rarely ever were. However rude it was to think it, Mark knew she was a freshman, so he took her even less seriously than he would someone his age.

Seeing her walk away was also watching what just happened come to a close. Mark had been thinking that, since it was over and done with, he wouldn't have to revisit the memory. He figured that maybe he'd come to think of it when he had to confess to someone himself, but he'd never imagine that news of Sana's confession would blow up and spread around the school like wildfire.

By the next Monday, it seemed as though everyone knew about it. People whispered about it whenever he walked by or when they thought he wasn't paying attention, but Mark didn't get a negative vibe from it. While he did his best to ignore them, it was unavoidable that he overheard some conversations.

Initially, he was worried that people began thinking him to be a bad guy, since he rejected Sana. As much as he told himself he didn't care about how other people thought of him, he really didn't want to be seen as an asshole or a jerk. He especially didn't want to be seen as someone like Jackson.

And he wasn't. People didn't see the rejection in a negative way and, if anything, thought of Mark even more highly. Mark couldn't understand exactly why, but his classmates saw what happened as something almost honourable. They only saw how caring and gentle Mark was, and started realising that how seriously he took school.

That didn't mean that was the end of it, though. Once a month had passed and it was mid November, five more people had confessed to him. Despite everyone knowing that the main reason he didn't accept anyone was because of school, they still took the chance. Mark understood that they wouldn't know unless they tried, but he was getting tired of having to reject them, however cocky that sounded.

One boy that had confessed to him, Taehyung Kim, he almost accepted. Taehyung was the only boy that confessed to Mark thus far, meaning he was the only one who really had a chance. Mark couldn't ignore how much guts it took for a guy to confess to another guy, or how cute Taehyung was. He barely knew him, but, compared to the others, he felt the worst rejecting him. In the the end, though, nothing turned out differently. Mark couldn't lose sight of his education.

As much as he hated to admit it, Mark wished that Jackson was one of the people that confessed to him. Mark had just figured that if Jackson was the fuckboy of the school, then he would try going after the new kid. It seemed that other people thought that too, because Mark overheard some classmates trying to figure out when Jackson would start "seducing Mark."

The fact that Jackson hadn't made any moves on him threw Mark off. If Jackson was how Mark had imagined him to be, then Jackson would have done something already. The only reason Mark could think of that explained why he hadn't was that he found Mark to be unattractive in some way. Jackson didn't seem unbearably cocky, so it couldn't have been that he thought himself as too good for Mark. Jackson had also been friendly despite Mark trying to push him off, so Mark felt that it couldn't have been his looks that were unappealing. If Jackson found Mark ugly, then Jackson would have probably ignored him from the start.

While trying to figure out what part of his personality might be unattractive, Mark realised two things. The first was that he spent way too much time thinking about Jackson. For someone he supposedly disliked, he wasted so much of his time wondering what was up with Jackson and why he did certain things. The second was that, just maybe, he was wrong. However small Mark thought the possibility was, he realised that it wasn't impossible for Jackson to be different from how others thought him to be. Though Mark doubted it, maybe Jackson wasn't all that bad.