translucent [markson]

[Thirty Four] Support

"My parents own this huge company in China. They're extremely famous because they're rich and influential, or some other bullshit like that. When my older brother was born, everyone freaked out and started paying more attention to them. But after he got old enough, he moved out and now he never talks to us.

"By the time my mom got pregnant with me, neither her or my dad wanted another kid. Frankly, they weren't all that excited with my brother and that was before they truly started focusing on their work. If it weren't for the fact that the news spread before they could do anything, I probably wouldn't be here. They really didn't want me and that's how I ended up here.

"Doing anything other than keep me would have ruined their image; they kept me to maintain their reputation at my expense. The first few years of my life—that I can remember, anyway—were difficult to say the least. They definitely could have been worse, but I won't ever forget the lonely, disappointing feeling of coming home to people that hated me.

"They sent me away when I was ten under the lie that they wanted me to have a better education. I suppose that's somewhat true, but the main reason they sent me away was to get rid of me. I've pretty much lived alone since then.

"That's why I think I did all that shit. It's stupid, I know. Some meaningless relationship with someone I don't even like won't change the fact that I'm unwanted. In the end it wasn't worth it, obviously. Everyone just hated me even more."

Mark sat frozen in front of Jackson as the latter suddenly became quiet. His story had Mark speechless; he could never imagine a situation like Jackson's when Mark always had such a loving and supporting family. Nothing about Jackson's story seemed fair, and Mark wanted nothing more than to go back in time and give Jackson the love he deserved.

He was even more lost when a tear fell down from Jackson's face onto the sheets in front of them. Besides when Jackson confessed to Mark, he never cried and Mark was well aware of that. At that realisation, Mark scrambled to pull Jackson into a hug, gently pushing Jackson's head onto his shoulder.

"Please don't cry. You have me and Yugyeom, right? And BamBam too, now that he finally came over his senses and got over his ego." Mark kept his hand near Jackson's neck, tracing little circles on the skin behind Jackson's ear.

"Fuck." Jackson let out a breathy, half hearted laugh. "I didn't mean to cry. I hate crying. This is stupid..."

"This isn't stupid. You have every reason to cry," Mark argued, his grip around Jackson tightening. "It's okay to cry sometimes."

"No!" Jackson exclaimed, weakly attempting to push Mark away and failing because, frankly, he liked Mark's hugs. "I hate when people see me cry. I'm not pathetic."

"Crying isn't pathetic." Mark knew that Jackson didn't mean what he said, but that didn't stop Mark from arguing anyway.

"I just don't want you to think worse of me," Jackson whispered, turning his face so his voice was muffled by Mark's shoulder. "You probably already think of me differently because of what I said about my parents. I don't want you to see me as weak because I seem to cry in front of you so often."

"You've cried in front of me, like, twice. Given the situations, it'd be weird if you didn't start crying. Besides, I know how strong of a person you are. Seeing you cry makes how I see you no different considering how amazing you are for fighting through everything you have." Mark let out a small sigh as he rested his chin on top of Jackson's head. He'd be lying if he said he didn't absolutely love every moment he was able to hold Jackson.

"I just feel the need to prove myself to you," Jackson mumbled, a little shame shining in his voice. "You're this perfect guy that anyone would kill to be or to date. I'm sure you know that I'm afraid you'll hate me just like my parents. I'd do anything to prove that I'm worth the time and effort."

"You don't need to prove anything to me. You're perfect already, so I don't see what you need to change," Mark assured him, almost desperate for Jackson to understand how much he meant it.

"The least I could do for you—and myself—is look decent so you're not walking around with a loser that looks like trash. I've been working out a lot more and skipping meals-"

"Skipping meals?" Mark abruptly pushed Jackson away to look him in the eyes. "You've been skipping meals?"

"Um, no," Jackson lied, panic rushing through his veins. "That was an exaggeration. I've just been cutting down, you know? It's really not-"

"Don't even try," Mark deadpanned, standing up and dragging Jackson up with him. "I should've taken Yugyeom more seriously when he told me you were acting weird. We're going to order some food right now and you're going to eat all of it right in front of me, got it?"

"It's not a big deal! Besides, I don't want to ruin my diet." Jackson jut out his lip as an attempt to sway Mark's mind, but Mark completely ignored him as he reached for his phone.

"I don't care if I ruin your stupid diet, you're going to eat what I get you. And you better stop skipping meals from now on." When Mark saw the hopeless look on Jackson's face, his tone softened. "I don't care if you're fat, skinny, or whatever. As your friend and especially as your boyfriend, I want you to be healthy."

"I know, I just..." Jackson couldn't find it in himself to vocalise how strongly opposed he was to eating. "Fine."

"That's more like it. Now, are we going for Chinese or American food?"

~

The atmosphere couldn't be more awkward between Yugyeom and BamBam. After months of fighting about Jackson and Mark, the two ignored each other like the plague. Now that Mark and Jackson were dating, the two had nothing to fight about.

Yugyeom had taken action and asked to meet BamBam at the library to fix things, but he never expected it would be so uncomfortable. Neither of them knew what to say. BamBam didn't want to mess up again and Yugyeom was just lost.

"Look, I'm sorry," BamBam began, breaking the silence between them. "I talked it out with Jackson, but I know I should talk to you too. What I did wasn't right; the way I treated you and Jackson was unfair. Even ignoring how much of an asshole I was to Jackson, dragging you into it was unfair and uncalled for. I'm really sorry, Yuggie. I don't expect you to forgive me."

"You really think I wouldn't forgive you?" Yugyeom sent BamBam the most genuine smile he could muster. "As much as I didn't want to at the start, you're still my best friend. We literally grew up together. I would say you're like my brother, but quite honestly... I don't want that."

"I'm so confused." BamBam's eyebrows furrowed and his eyes narrowed.

"I'll explain it eventually," Yugyeom promised, not even the slightest bit upset that BamBam didn't see where he was going. "I forgive you and I want us to go back to normal. That's what matters."

"This means so fucking much to me. I owe you and Jackson so much."

"You don't have to owe us anything. That's what friends are for, isn't it?" Yugyeom's smile grew as BamBam finally cracked a grin. There was still a lot of guilt and regret in his expression, but Yugyeom knew BamBam was the type to be way too hard on himself.

As the two talked through the night, they felt as if nothing had ever come between them. With everything seemingly out of the way, they were more than ready for things to go back to how they were before they got bad—they were ready to return as the trio from elementary school. Things were finally falling into place, and neither of them could wait another minute to find out what would come.