Behind These Walls I Built

Chapter 12 - I don't believe in soulmates

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Chapter 12 – I don’t believe in soulmates

     His lips were so soft on mine, it’s like we were barely touching. He kissed me gently like he was scared I might break into pieces, fragile-like. I didn’t know we were kissing until I felt the sparks, a small bolt of lightning. It was some incredibly powerful source outside and inside of both of us.

     It felt like two small droplets emerging into one.  

     I suddenly felt so weak, I couldn’t seem to stand anymore, my knees were wobbly, and my legs melted and fell forward.

     He caught me, two solid and safe hands holding both of my arms, preventing me from falling, and it was surprisingly… nice.

     This was the problem though, having walls built up so hard and high. When it came down, it crumbles and falls down completely, shattering into nothingness. I felt utterly defenseless now. It happened once before too, when I told him to forget about it, when we were on our way to school, I didn’t know if he forgotten about it, but I didn’t.

     I felt unguarded… exposed… vulnerable, but not alone. I could feel Ash’s warm presence, his heat radiating from his skin; I could feel his spirit, pulling me towards it. I felt the touch of his mind, and once again, I was completely defenseless.

     I don’t want this.

     'Yes you do.'

     A mental voice that weren’t mine, it was Ash’s, and suddenly, it wasn’t all that nice, because I was panicking.

     I managed to cut the thoughts off and one part of my mind was screaming completely, he’s here, he’s inside, what am I suppose to do now? There was smoke and mist covering the trail of thoughts of mine, not letting him see anything.

     Suddenly was a soft voice… 'Dawn, don’t- Don’t hide away from me.'

     How could I not? He’s inside my mind, not only can see anything, he could see everything. Including how my mother died and by that, it may show my true identity. This can’t be happening, how’s it happening?

     'You’re not allowed here,' I snapped back, shooting the thought directly at him this time, 'go away!'  

     'I don’t know how- I can’t. It’s just happening, I’m not doing anything.' Unlike his mental voice, my one is shaky and scared, his one was calm and steady; his voice was trying to calm me down, but it’s not that easy.

     I don’t understand. It shouldn’t be happening, it’s not possible. I seen people, people with partners, but I never seen them experience anything like this before, this is somehow… Somehow not possible.

     I’m stronger than this, but now I’m shaking. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m… I’m scared.

     'Don’t be afraid. Don’t,' Ash mental voice said, it was so soothing and comforting, with a voice of desperate gentleness. His mind was wrapped around mine protectively, touching it softly.

     No. 'No.'

     'Yes,' Ash’s whispered softly like the wind. 'Why won’t you let this happen, Dawn?'