Sanders Sides One Shots

Courts Pt 2

*Trigger warnings for self-hate, suicidal thoughts, suicide, and major character death. the end is bittersweet*

It's his fault. All his fault. He should have done something, anything, but he didn't and now his love was dead. He wasn't even living anymore, just surviving. 

He knew why they kept him alive. They wanted him to feel like this and if he was stronger he wouldn't of let them win, but he was weak. He was too weak to help Roman, he was too weak to join Roman. He was weak and there is no denying it.

Tears fell from his eyes. This was normal at this point if he wasn't crying that would be when something was wrong. If he slept he would be crying in his sleep, but the nightmares kept his from sleep. 

There was no release. Every time he tried to join Roman they would force him to stay alive and whispered confirmation of his worse fear until he was drained of all energy until he couldn't even fight back.

His heart was broken and it released pure darkness into his system. He stopped fighting back and started planning. They would pay for what they had done. They would feel his pain, and when they got what they deserved he would finally join Roman.

It was easy to hurt them. Maybe it was because he knew this pain, maybe it was because he was willing to watch the world burn to get what he wanted, but no matter what the reason it was easy. It was so easy it scared him, was he becoming a monster like those who had tortured him. 

"No, they deserve this. They're cruel and they've had this coming for a long time," Anx thought bitterly as he remembered that he wasn't the only one they had tried to destroy. He wasn't just doing this for himself, so many others had been treated like this. He wasn't a hero, this was still for selfish reasons, but that didn't mean others couldn't be avenged. 

One by one they all fell. Each of them having to face their own worse fears. None of them would ever be the same. The last one actually tried to hide, to beg. Anx found it amusing after all when he begged no one listened, no one listened this time either. 

He was still empty in the end though. He didn't expect this to make his whole. He just wanted revenge, not to be fixed or made whole, only one thing could make him whole again, and soon it would happen. The revenge helped though it taught that no matter how broken someone was they could be ok again, not the same, but ok. He wasn't ok though, he was far from it, but he saw the others who had been damaged by them slowly become ok. 

He looked out at the ocean. He was so high up and he couldn't swim. This was the perfect place. 

A breath. An action. A few moments. A flash of pain. Darkness. And then, "Wow, Anx. It's been awhile, Love. You really showed them,"

A reunion. A kiss. He was finally ok.