Sanders Sides One Shots

Dreams, Wants, Wishes, and Hopes

A/N Trigger Warning: Self Hate and Suicidal Thoughts.

He dreamed that one day he could be as brave as he pretended to be. He dreamed that one day he could be strong enough to protect everyone. He dreamed that one day he could be original.

He saw Anxiety and he had the need to sass him. Anxiety was so good at what he did and what did was making Thomas feel bad, was undermining Prince's creativity. He hated it. He hated it so much. He wanted to destroy it. He thought if he destroyed it everything would be fine.

"Wow, finally leaving your room I'm so impressed, maybe this time you won't decide to destroy everyone's day," he practically sneered at Anxiety. He didn't take notice oh how broken Anxiety looked. He cared, but his own pain blinded him to the pain of others.

Anxiety took a step back and mumbled, "I'm not always the bad guy," Prince didn't notice the tears forming in Anxiety's eyes.

"Really? Are you sure about that because most of the things that go wrong are because of you," Prince replied. He didn't actually think that about Anxiety, he thought it about himself, He knew that about himself.

Anxiety turned and ran towards his room. Prince noticed the signs. He slid down the wall and thought, "You're a coward, attacking the weak and defenseless. You're horrible and all the things you said were cliche. You are the worse,"

He dreamed he could be brave.

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He wanted to be ok. He wanted to be able to deal. He wanted to be human and not the monster he perceived himself to be.

Prince had been right. He did everything wrong. He was the bad guy. He was horrible. He wanted to die. He knew he wouldn't take the action he was too weak to do it.

He didn't have the energy to even get into his bed. He just curled on the floor and sobbed. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't stop his thoughts from looping all he could do was ride it out even though he wanted Morality to come and talk him through it, but he knew Morality was starting on dinner so he wouldn't be here anytime soon. He just had to ride the wave of self-hate out.

He wanted to be ok.

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He wished he could connect with them. He wished he could understand what they feel. He tried to make his wishes a reality. He tried to be something, anything other than the cold and unfeeling man they saw. He wanted to be able to sit with them and laugh; he wanted to be able to help them when they were hurt. He wanted to be normal.

"Do you need any assistance?" he asked Morality when he noticed him making dinner.

Morality smiled and replied, "Thanks, Logic, but no besides one of my special ingredients is love so" he ended the comment with a shrug and went back to cutting the vegetables not noticing the small frown on his lips.

As Logic walked back to his room he thought, "Love, something I do not have. Why did I even offer to help? It would have disturbed the routine. I should have said nothing. I should have done nothing," his thoughts were interrupted by a sob clearly coming from the pitch black door that leads to Anxiety's room.

He knocked on the door, and after a few moments of silence from the other end he opened the door and saw that Anxiety was curled on the floor crying. To gain Anxiety's attention Logic asked, "Are you ok?" he cringed slightly, obviously, Anxiety wasn't ok.

"Why do you care?" Anxiety croaked out, his voice was hoarse and the words sounded painful to speak.

Logic didn't have an answer, so he stood in silence trying to think of an answer. That was not the correct course of action. Anxiety practically snarled, "Get out! Leave!" Logic stayed a few moments, unsure of whether it would be better to stay and try to help or do what Anxiety asked. A shoe came flying at him and he had his answer. He left.

He continued to wish.

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He hoped that one day he could be as good as he thought he was. He hoped that one day he wouldn't feel bitter about always being the nice one. He hoped that one day he wouldn't wear a mask of kindness, that the kindness would be real. He hoped that no one would see how fake and tight his smiles were. He hoped no one would find out how bad he was before he could become good.

After telling Logic that he didn't need any help with dinner, good people helped without help, he went to check on Anxiety. He hadn't come out of his room for a while and it worried Morality, so he brought Anxiety's favorite and knocked on his door, even though he didn't get a response he came in, knowing that if Anxiety was really bad he wouldn't respond to anyone that came knocking on his door.

"Anx, what do you need?" Morality asked when he noticed that Anxiety was crying on the floor; he walked closer to Anxiety and kneeled next to him, so he didn't appear so intimidating.

Anxiety lifted his head and mumbled, "I don't know, today's just not a good day," and then put his head back down, it was as if any little movement was too much.

Morality's voice was tight as he said, "That's ok, we all have bad days," even as he thought, "Another one? Anxiety need to stop over reacting! No, Mor that is a bad thought, it isn't Anxiety's fault that he's not ok,"

"Really? Even you?" Anxiety asked, not picking up his head, but speaker a little clear this time.

Morality smiled and said, "Yes even me," He hated to admit it, but was ok with it when he saw how happy it made Anxiety. He stayed the night comforting Anxiety.

He hoped this was enough to make him good.

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You might never achieve your dreams. You may never get what you want. You can wish and never get your wish. Your hopes may never be real. Those are not reasons to stop trying. They are reasons to try harder.