Sanders Sides One Shots

Fake Date Part 2

He kept himself up at night with thoughts of what he did wrong. How he should have told Anx what his plan was. How he should have fought harder. How he should just move on. He didn't want to move on. 

"I got what I wanted. I should be happy, but why aren't I happy. He was right it was just a phase, I didn't really love him. So why does it hurt so badly?" Roman thought, tears starting to fall from his eyes. 

He wanted to fix it, oh god did he want to fix. Just go back and try harder, realize sooner, anything other than what he do, let go. He didn't he wanted to hold on, but he couldn't, Anx wouldn't let him.

On the other side of town, a heart-broken teen dressed in all black sat on his roof and wept, regretting that he forced someone away, that he was so afraid of loving someone, trusting them enough to not hurt him, that he didn't even let them explain. 

"Why am I like this? Why did I push him away? Even if he really did love me he probably doesn't now," Anx thought, hating that he was so insecure that he wouldn't believe someone could love him. 

He wanted to make up with him, to go back to how they were before, late nights and loud laughs, but he had no idea if roman wanted that too. It scared him to think that Roman might not want to, that Roman might hate him.

They both wanted the same thing, but the same fear kept them from it.

Typing out a text, deleting the text, regrets, tears, and a broken heart, this was their lives now.  Each wondering if the other hated them and hoping that they didn't. Neither really how the other felt because they would've gotten back together a long time ago, but both are inherently stubborn people. 

Luckily no one can be stubborn forever, and Roman caved in and finally texted Anx. With every word typed his fear of rejection growing stronger, but he knew enough was enough and hit send. He waited and waited and waited for a reply, each minute making his fear grown stronger and stronger and stronger. 

Anx was terrified. He got a message from Roman that only said, "Meet me where stars were, where fell in love with you," Anx knew exactly where Roman was talking about and he knew he wanted to go, but he was scared of what would happen when he got there. 

Would Roman be mad? Would Roman tell Anx they he never wanted to see him again? Maybe it would be good and Roman would tell him that they could be friends. Maybe Roman's use of the word love meant that he wanted to fix things, that he wanted to go back to the way things were before it all went down hill. 

He went. He didn't want to, if he had a list of things he wanted to do going there would have been at the very bottom, right after getting stabbed and before running down the street naked. He prayed that Roman would be there before him, sadly his prayers went unanswered. 

It took almost 30 minutes for Roman to show up, and when he did he looked like a mess. His usually well-maintained hair looked like it hadn't been brushed since the breakup and the dark circles under his eyes could rival Anx's. 

"Hey, how have you been?" Anx asked not really sure how to act in this situation.

"Nevermind all that, I'm just going to get the point, no beating around the bush" Roman took a breath before continuing, "I miss you. I love you and I'm so sorry I hurt you. Please, come back,"

Silence. Not even the sound of the wind through the trees could be heard as Roman waited for Anx's reply, hoping that it would be a positive one.

"Do you really think we can go back? Do you really think this fixed? That we can be fixed? That it will be ok?" Anx asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes," that's all Roman said, his heart sinking as his thoughts told him that he was being rejected. 

"Good. Becuase I agree," Anx said before throwing himself into Roman's arm, not caring that they were both crying sweet tears of relief. 

It wasn't easy. Roman's parents still hated Anx, well Roman's dad more than his mom, and Roman and Anx didn't always see eye to eye, but they still fought to make it work, neither of them wanting it to go back to when they both were kept awake by the memories of how they messed up. 

Their relationship may not have been easy, but it was strong enough to survive a lifetime.

A/N This took me 3 hours to write, so you better like it because it usually takes me an hour and a half to write something of this length.