What Makes The Heart Grow Fonder✔

18❤️

Thursday

Devin and Nicole still had a lot of planning to do for their wedding. Hell, they had barely planned anything. Only thing they've done was pick a date, the venue and the pastor. Everything else had not been decided.

"So, there's 16 tables. Did you decide on the round ones or the rectangular ones?" Nicole asked, drawing a model on a large white piece of paper on the kitchen island. Devin was sitting on the stool while Nicole chose to stand and lean against the island instead.

Devin shrugged. "Whatever you wanna do babe, it's up to you."

Nicole sighed and began drawing circle tables on her paper to get a good visual.

"We'll put the kids on the end by the door. Our parents and grandparents can sit right here." She indicated the table that was directly across from the bride and groom's table. Devin silently nodded.

Nicole rolled her eyes and stood up straight. "Ok Devin, what is going on with you?" She placed her hand on her hip.

"Nothing what you mean?" He had no clue what she was talking about.

"You've been acting different ever since our mall day with my sisters."

"Different how?"

Nicole shrugged, "you've just been acting real dry with me."

Devin immediately started thinking about Sabrina. He had now allowed this lingering feeling disrupt his home, and he hated that.

"I didn't realize, I'm sorry." He said.

Nicole frustratedly sighed and changed her standing position. "I don't want you to be sorry, I want you to be excited about this wedding like I am. What happened? You used to be more enthusiastic than me."

Devin understood what she meant and he knew why he was acting this way. But he continued to play it off for the sake of his soon-to-be wife.

"I'm excited babe, I just want you to have everything that you want for this wedding." Devin explained.

Nicole looked at him like he was crazy. "Umm, ok, when we start doing that? Cause the last time I checked I never intended for anything that we do to be all about me. I care about what you want Devin, it's your wedding too."

Devin put his hand on his head frustratedly. "Why are you turning this into an argument?"

"I'm not turning this into an argument." She said firmly, and tension began growing in the room.

"Why you gotta yell for?" He shrugged and lifted up his hands in question. He was beginning to piss Nicole off.

She shoved her outline of the wedding reception across the island and stormed off. "When you're done acting like a child and remember how to communicate like an adult, then we'll discuss the wedding."

Devin accidentally used her statement as and open door to escape, and rescue his princess. He nodded, "yeah putting the wedding off might be a good idea."

Nicole stopped in her tracks. She was in her way to their bedroom so that she could slam the door shut and hopefully cause Devin to reevaluate his attitude towards the whole situation. But his words, as harmless as they were, cut her deep. She faced him in shock. "What?"

Devin hopped down from his stool and approached her, not getting too close. "I wanna marry you Nicki, but, I'm starting to think we're moving too fast. Maybe we should wait for marriage."

Nicole couldn't believe her ears. She stood there, completely caught off guard and hurt. Her eyes were turning red and the tears were close to falling. "What are we waiting for Devin?"

Devin looked around, looking for a good enough reason to tell. He exhaled, "We both have a lot going on right now-"

"W-what the hell you gotta do that's so fucking important that you want to call off our wedding? Cause I ain't got shit to do." She started trembling as the tears came rolling down her cheeks."

"Nicki, I'm not calling it off exactly."

" 'exactly'?"

Devin tried to hold her hand but she pulled it away. She was completely turned off from him right now and struggled to believe if this was really her Devin standing in front of her.

He began talking anyway. "I just think this will be a great time for us to double check and make sure we're ready for this. I mean, marriage is a big step."

Nicole froze and looked him dead in the eyes as he continued to prove his case. As she listened, something clicked in her head and she felt her blood begin to boil.

"Is it that girl?" She closed her eyes shirt and patiently waited for him to answer.

Devin's heart dropped, he knew exactly what she was talking about. "What girl?"

"Don't bullshit me Devin, is it her?" She remained calm.

"What? Sabrina?"

She didn't respond. Had she responded to his stupidity, her voice would've raised and her hand would've collided with his cheek.

"I'm not cheating on you, if that's what you're asking. I can promise you that. I've never cheated on you." Devin explained. He was being honest. He never stepped out of their relationship, whether on good terms or bad terms.

"Do you...love her?" She struggled to get the question off her lips. The feeling of Devin loving anyone else just crushed her.

Devin swallowed hard from nervousness. He needed time to think about whether or not he wanted to tell her the truth but, he knew that if he had taken longer than two seconds, she'd assume that it was a yes for him. He didn't know what to do. But since he was under pressure, he just said the first thing that came to heart, rather his mind.

"Yes. I'm in love with Sabrina."

Devin could feel Nicole's pain. He knew he had really broke her down. This all reminded him of when he had broken up with Sabrina senior year at Wardell King High School, which was the biggest mistake of his life. Nicole was an amazing woman and she was a good woman to Devin. But even if she does everything right and he does everything right, it don't mean nothing if she ain't the one God intended for you. Yes, he did love her, but something was missing. He wasn't in love with her, and he could never say it and mean it 100%. But Sabrina, he'd shout it from the mountain tops if he could...and if he wasn't engaged and she hadn't moved on.

Devin felt bad for his fiancé. She's a special person, she really is. But he wanted to get this off his chest before they do something enormous like marriage. And since Sabrina is leaving tomorrow, he had to act now.

Nicole just shook her head and walked quietly to their bedroom. She closed the door nicely and curled into a ball on the King sized bed.

This was a lot for Devin too. Not as much as it was for Nicole of course, but letting the truth out really was a load lifted off of him. And the sad part is, just because he was honest with Nicole doesn't mean the love of his life will take him back.

One in a million ~ Aaliyah