Tainted

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

A loud buzzing from my bedside table woke me from my deep sleep. I turned off the alarm before rolling out of bed.

The room was actually really nice. It had a purple and green theme. It was bright and roomy and very modern. It had a double bed with a memory foam mattress and soft pillows. The bathroom was huge. It had a cream and marble theme. Warm and welcoming. A hot tub, with bubbles, a roomy shower and a large wall sized mirror were spread across the large room. It was spectacular.

When I came in last night, my suitcase was next to my bed and a large envelope was on the bedside table. I unpacked all my clothes and belongings before I sat down and opened it.

It had a black sports bra with matching spandex shorts, I did not even want to know how they knew my size, a map of the grounds, and a pile of papers, stapled together, explaining everything that would happen in the next three weeks. It also had the times that the canteen was open, as well as menus, emergency numbers and numbers for certain services. It had everything I needed to know.

I had a look at my timetable. Breakfast at 7am. I looked at the time, 6:42.

I jumped up and ran to the shower, tearing off my clammy pyjamas before hopping in for a quick clean and rinse. I pulled on the sports bra and shorts over my underwear and pulled on a baggy thin jumper to cover more of me up.

I straightened my hair and pulled it up into a high ponytail before applying some light makeup. I pulled on my sports trainers and had one last look in the mirror. Satisfied with my appearance, I headed downstairs to the canteen. It was now 7:10. To be completely honest, I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly I had managed to get ready. I just hope Dan wasn't too angry. I wasn't very hungry anyway.

I finally found the canteen and stepped inside. It was full of people, of all ages. The one thing they all had in common was they were all perfectly toned and slim, each and every one looking like a supermodel or a celebrity.

I felt my body warm, my palms beginning to sweat. I couldn't see Dan anywhere.

The conversations began to hush slightly and whispers were soon audible as people stared, or just constantly glanced at me.

The walls began to close in on me, my head spinning, my vision blurring. I then saw Dan run over to me, confused yet concerned. He held me up but I pushed him away as I ran out of the doors and back up to my room. I held up my card, my hand shaking. After many attempts, my card was finally accepted, and I fell in my room, not bothering to close the door.

I broke down by my bed, tears pouring down my face, my whole body shaking violently.

As muffled as my hearing had become, I still heard footsteps fast approaching. A shadow towered over me before it crouched down. I felt arms wrap themselves around my hunched frame, pulling me into them. I carried on sobbing, my dreaded subconscious telling me how i could never fit in with these people. I wasn't good enough. No wonder they stared.

"Shh shh, it's ok, it's ok." A deep voice cooed, my head resting against a hard chest that vibrated as the words were said. Dan.

He stroked my hair and rocked me slowly back and forth, my sobs slowing more and more.

"There we go. Shh" he continued to reassure me. His hand rubbed my back slowly, his head rested on the top of mine.

I felt myself begin to calm. I had stopped shaking and all I felt now was numbness. Dan kissed my head, igniting a warmth there. He lifted me up, and sat me on the edge of my bed. Now sat up, I stared at the floor as dan disappeared into my bathroom, soon returning with a handful of tissues. I took them with a shaky hand, and wiped my eyes and face.

I hadn't had a panic attack for over a year. I couldn't believe it just happened in front of all those people. They would judge me even more now.

I felt the bed dip as Dan sat down next to me.

"This wasn't a good idea. I hadn't had a panic attack in over a year and yet I come here and I have one in the first five minutes." I croaked out, shaking my head at the ground.

"Exactly. You've only been here five minutes. It was stupid of me to think you could go into the canteen in front of all those people alone. I'm so sorry." He apologised, rubbing his face with his hands. He looked so different to when I had seen him yesterday. But I couldn't put my finger on what it was that could've changed.

I leant my head on his shoulder, out of instinct, yet we both suddenly became aware of what I did and pulled away. My cheeks flushed, as did his, and we avoided each others eyes.

"I'm sorry, I.. I don't know why i did that." I laughed nervously and scratched my arm. He just laughed quietly in response.

"You look beautiful by the way." He said quietly, before he abruptly looked up, alarmed at the words that just left his mouth. His cheeks went a bright red and he stuttered nervously, yet soon gave up thinking of an excuse and stopped talking.

I just smiled to myself, he knew all of the right things to say.

"You hungry?" he asked me coldly. I nodded shyly.

"Give me one minute." He said before he stood up and left my apartment, closing the door behind him. I stared at where he had just been before smiling to myself again and walking to the bathroom.

I looked up at the mirror. I didn't even recognise myself. I looked like I hadn't slept for days.

I removed all of the stained makeup and reapplied some mascara before redoing my hair and adjusting my clothes.

I heard a knock at the door and went to answer it. There stood Dan, holding a plate piled high with bacon, toast, eggs, sausages. The smell was amazing and it looked so good. A grin spread across my face and I looked up at him to see him staring at me, his blonde hair flopped over his eye.

"Oh my god thank you so much, this is amazing." I said, practically fan girling over the food in front of me.

I took the food and sat down at the desk, placing it in front of me. I grabbed a knife and fork and began to eat. It was just as good as it looked. I then became aware of how I was scoffing a whole plate like a pig, so I wiped my mouth and then carried on, slower this time.

A few years ago, I would've never had eaten this, or anything for that matter. I was so self conscious during my early teens, I suffered with severe anorexia. The only thing that got me through it was June and Lois. They saved my life.

I only managed to eat half the plate. I'd never had a very big appetite.

I looked over at Dan, sprawled across my bed, his head hanging over the edge, his blonde hair off his face, practically touching the floor. I giggled at the image before taking a picture with my phone.

He laughed at me before rolling his eyes and getting off my bed.

"Right lets go, we're gonna be late if we don't hurry up." He said as he walked past me. I hesitated.

"We're not training with other people are we?" I asked nervously.

"Nope. Remember what the Professor said ; one to one tuition. We get a whole fitness suite to ourselves." He bit his bottom lip and raised his eyebrows. God, if he does that too much I might not be able to control myself in a room with him alone.

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Aw isn't he a cutie ;)