Nate Maloley Imagines

Fight for family(part 9)

You didn't find the girls' numbers in your purse until a few weeks later, but by that time you and Nate had a pretty good hold on your anxiety and how to manage it as well as recognize when it was being to whirl out of control. Nate ended up staying behind every other case, giving you both time to have him there and time to breathe from him. You had officially hit 6 months, and your cravings were stronger than ever.
"Nate , it's me. Could you bring back a doughnut when you head home from work?"
"Nate , it's me again. Is there any strawberry syrup for the milk?"
"God, I really need a damn red pepper."
And Nate took everything in absolute stride.
You were impressed with how he was dealing with things. When you could manage it, the two of you would talk about how you were feeling and where the two of you stood, and when you couldn't manage it he was giving you your space while somehow refilling your bathtub relaxation essentials without being seen.
It was really sweet of him, honestly.
You knew what he did was wrong. So wrong, in fact, that you shouldn't forgive him.
But every time his little girl kicked up against your uterus, your eyes would well up with tears and you would close your eyes and imagine her.
Would she have Nate's big eyes? Or maybe his lush locks. Would she have dark hair like him? Or maybe he shorter in stature like him?
You smiled at Nate's stature. You knew it was something he was self-conscious about, but you loved being just under eye-level with him. You didn't have to stand on your tip-toes to kiss him, and he was the perfect height for coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around you.
Oh, how you love it when he wrapped his arms around you.
He was giving you plenty of space. You realized that these past few weeks must have scared him as much as it did you, and you knew that the best thing you could do for him was take care of yourself.
But as the days waned on, you found yourself slowly beginning to wonder what you could do for him.
So, every once in a while, dishes would be put away. Or, maybe his bed would be made. If he went off on a case, sometimes he would come back to freshly-vacuumed carpet.
Not because he expected you to.
But because you...sort of...wanted to?
You didn't quite understand it either. You should be livid. Permanently and forever livid. You two fought, he found solace with another woman, and then he was the one that began playing games!
But you couldn't deny that you missed him, and being pregnant with his child wasn't making things any better.
He never mentioned any of these things that you did, but soon you started to find a few things of your own that were new: a mug of low-caffeine coffee made just how you like it in the microwave for you to heat up whenever you woke up. A plate of food for lunch in the fridge whenever you opened it up to grab an apple for breakfast. A fresh dessert always sitting out on the counter for you to spearhead with a fork.
Never the same dessert twice.
And always lingering of that beautiful, fresh scent.
You found yourself almost enjoying the dance the two of you were doing, but you decided it was time to talk.
Over neutral ground.

The two of you perused the third baby store in the city as you slowly waddled beside Nate as your necks craned over all of the furniture.
"What are we looking for again?" Nate asks.
"Well, we have pretty much everything for the nursery: a crib, a changing table, a dresser for clothes that I'll organize according to size. But I was hoping to find a nice rocking chair. You know, for nights that she needs me and I can't go back to bed."
"You know I'll be there to help, right?" Nate asks as he grasps your hand and stops you.
He took your hand.
And it made you look down at the gesture.
Watching as he quickly unlatches, you feel a sense of...sadness...overcome you as you slowly look up into his eyes.
"Can you breastfeed?" you ask snarkily.
And Nate's eyes twinkled with his laughter as you smile at him, taking in every detail of his face. Memorizing his every move. Loving his every nook and cranny.
"I guess not," he smiles as he opens his eyes and looks at you.
And the two of you stared at each other for quite some time in the middle of the furniture at the back of the building.
"You know...if you want a nice rocker, maybe we should go to a furniture store instead of a baby store," Nate murmurs.
But his eyes never unhooked from yours.
"I...uh...didn't think of that," you breathe.
And then you felt him take a step forward.
"There's one across the road," Nate offers.
But all you could concentrate on now was the body heat you could feel radiating against your skin.
A body heat you hadn't felt in such a long, long time...
"Ok," you whisper.
You felt yourself panicking. The anxiety and uncertainty rising up in your throat as your breathing begins to pick up ever-so-slightly.
"It's alright," Nate murmurs lowly as he takes another step closer, shrouding you from the crowd your mind tricked you into thinking was there as his around slowly cup your cheeks.
"You're alright," he says as he picks your face up to meet his.
And you swore you could smell the twinge of honey butter from your lunch that afternoon.
"Nate ..." you whisper as your face gets ever-so-slightly closer.
But something inside of Nate jerked, telling him that now was not a good time. That you were in a heightened hormonal and emotional state with the pregnancy, and that he would just be taking advantage of you.
And that's the last thing he ever wanted.
So he moved in for a hug, holding you close as your stomach creates distance between the two of your bodies.
And you had to blink back tears as you swallowed hard.