(Photo of Eli above: Logan Lerman)
Song is The Doctor Said by Chloe Adams <3
Lunch was a misery.
Eli was fine to sit with but it was just his friends. They all seemed to be so happy and enthusiastic. And all the questions they asked me made me feel so awkward as I didn't trust them enough to answer anything. I was scared that I'd make a mistake and say something I'd regret.
"So Ash." Said one girl. "What do you usually do in your spare time?"
"I usually hide in my room and wallow in self pity as the hours go by. What about you?" I reply, staring at her in the eyes to make her uncomfortable. I didn't want her asking me stupid questions so it was best to act like this instead. If I made them feel awkward enough they would leave me alone.
The whole table burst into laughter. I looked around in surprise, wondering what was so hilarious.
"Eli, you really know how to find the comedians." Chuckled the guy from the corridor that was with Eli earlier in the day.
"Yeah, I know." Eli smiled but then looked back at me, knowing what I was trying to do. "Uh, listen. Me and Ash have to go do something quick."
"Like what?" Asked one.
"Yeah, like what?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Oh, I need to talk to her about an assignment in our class together." He said and stood up, gesturing me to go too. "Lets go Ash."
I frowned and followed him out of the cafeteria once again and we both stopped round the corner.
"What's your problem?" He asked, looking frustrated. "They're only being nice."
"Too nice. I don't like them asking questions and getting involved." I reply, crossing my arms angrily. "I don't want friends and I don't need them. Keep them to yourself, you even have the social skills to go along with it."
"They were trying to make conversation." He argued once more. "Why do you want to push them all away when they just want to be friends?"
"Because friends find out about stuff. And once they do, they suddenly aren't such great friends anymore."
"Whatever's happened in the past, these people are different. I'm different. None of us will backstab you or judge you."
"Yeah, sure." I mutter, shoving past him to go back to the cafeteria.
I listen to him as he calls for me to go back but I choose to ignore it. I didn't want to be close to anyone and I didn't understand why he wouldn't just leave me be.
"Ash." He chases me, stopping in front of me to block me going further. "At least let me be your friend. You don't have to speak to those guys if you don't want to. Just let me in, please."
"I don't want to, don't you understand?"
"I know, you keep saying that but I'm sure there's a part of you that wants someone to be there for you. That can be me." He smiles kindly and quickly writes something on a piece of paper. I look at it and see it's a phone number.
"Fine." I huff and scribble mine on his arm, which makes his face light up into an even bigger smile.
"You actually gave me your number." He states. "I can't believe it."
"Whatever. Don't give it to anyone else though."
"I won't." He replies and I start to walk away again. This time, he is satisfied with my number and lets me go.
--
That evening, I was laid on my bed. I had come home from school to find out that Mr Andrews had made a concerned phone call to my parents to tell them about my 'strange behaviour' and how I've been failing in some subjects. A long story short, they were livid.
My dad came flying at me from where he was sat at the table and shoved me into the wall forcefully, hurting my arm as it had been crushed against my own weight. He shouted a bunch of stuff at me which I could barely listen to because of how my arm was in pain. I also hit my head on the side which hurt like crazy.
"This is putting such stress on me and your mother, you selfish girl!" He yelled in conclusion.
"I'm the selfish one?!" I ended up shouting back, my voice sounding a lot more brave than I actually felt but it was my anger controlling me. "None of you actually listen to me. I've never once heard you ask how I was or actually give a damn about how I'm feeling or what I'm going through. I've been so depressed these past few years and you guys don't even care."
My dad then pulled away, letting me drop to the floor. I held my arm close to me as though I was shielding it from harm. The harm being my parents in this situation.
"You're acting as though you have depression, you spiteful little attention seeker." Scoffed my mum finally to break the awful silence around us all.
"Yeah, because I definitely don't have depression." I answer bitterly, my eyes starting to well up with tears. "I just have all of the symptoms, don't I?"
Swiftly, I ran away from them and up the stairs to my room before they could see me cry. I wouldn't give them that satisfaction. My arm was burning in pain, reminding me of how I was violently shoved against the wall by my own dad. It now had bruising along it and was very sore. I wanted to put some ice on it in hopes of helping but I couldn't face them again.
From my pocket, my phone buzzed, alarming me slightly. No one really knew my number so I didn't know why I had received a text.
Hi, it's Eli :P
I let out a frustrated sigh before typing out a quick reply.
Call me.
And he did. I answered the phone and greeted him calmly. I wanted to hang up and just go to sleep but at the same time, I wanted to talk to him.
"What's wrong?" He asked suddenly. "Your voice sounds really shaky. Have you been crying?"
"I'm Ash Winters, the biggest crybaby in town. When am I not crying?" I replied, chuckling sadly.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He answered nervously. There was a hint of doubt in his voice, probably guessing I would decline.
"It's my parents." I let out a shaky sigh. "They got a phone call from Mr Andrews saying that my behaviour's been off and I'm failing in some lessons. It kind of escalated from there."
"What happened?"
"My Dad was really mad and shoved me into the wall. I hurt my arm since it was against the wall and it won't stop throbbing. My head hurts as well, I hit it when he shoved me."
"Oh god, Ash. You need to get some medication for that. And you need to tell someone." He sounded genuinely concerned and I'm not sure how that made me feel. I was scared most of all but he kept the secret about Friday night so why wouldn't he keep this to himself.
"No!" Came my reply. "I can't tell anyone about this. I don't even know why I'm telling you."
"Meet me." He said. "I'll bring some stuff for your head and arm."
I begrudgingly obliged, wanting to put as much distance between my parents and I as possible.
