Dear Jett,
I wrote a few letters today to many people in order to express how I truly feel for them and say my last goodbyes. Yours and Ash's letters took the longest out of all of them because when I finally put my pen to paper, I'm not sure what to write.
I suppose what I really want to say is, please don't feel bad for me. I'm in a better place now even if it's away from you all. Of course I'm going to miss you, I love you all even if you make it difficult sometimes. Just remember that I'm no longer in pain.
Throughout the years I've spent with you, I know you live in the past and have to fight your inner demons everyday because of this. I know it may be hard but you need to move on and accept the past in order to head towards your future. It is what it is and no matter how upset you get, nothing will change it, okay?
Right now, you need to step up and take care of everyone, especially Ash as she is probably in a bad place. You and her share a lot in common so you can lean on each other for support. Both of you should help mom and focus on your futures.
You've had a rough time growing up, I understand that. I know you wanted to achieve so much when you were younger and you lost all of those dreams you had. Just because you've gone through some bad stuff doesn't mean you can't still have a good future. Remember that.
I have always loved you, Jett. Even though we drifted apart throughout the past years, I still have the same feelings because we're brothers and you mean the world to me. You've made some bad decisions and some mistakes but I forgive you for all of it because I know you can't forgive yourself.
If I could go back, I would spend more time with you because you just never know how long you're gonna get with a person until they're gone. I wish we could've had a better relationship but I guess it's my fault. I should have helped you but instead I let you push me away.
Remember when we were kids? We were so close back then. I doubt you will remember the time we visited England with mom. I remember all of it because it's one of my favourite memories.
It was in the summer and I was around six years old.
We went to visit our aunt on our dad's side of the family and she lived out in the country in a huge house with loads of pets. The house was always so cold and at night was really creepy.
I got scared one night because it was pouring down with rain in a huge storm and they were my biggest fears growing up. I was hiding under my covers and then you suddenly sat on my bed with me and stayed with me to calm me down.
You told me stories and tried making me laugh so I could forget about the storm outside. It worked. I admired you so much for that. I knew I was lucky to have you as my big brother.
After that, you told me you'd always be there for me no matter what and I believed in your words. You were so caring towards me and your calm voice narrating a story slowly lulled me to sleep.
I'm not quite sure why we had to change. I guess it's just part of life. People grow older and they start changing, start drifting away from each other.
We became two entirely different people. One of us living in our past and the other living in the present, not wanting to believe in the future because it didn't exist for him.
I wanted to drag you into the present with me so you could experience things you'd never experienced before. You could have lived everyday like it was your last.
It sort of worked on Ash. I'm glad I managed to save her that day at the bridge; I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to save her life. I bet you would've done the same if you were in my position. We're the same in that sense. We always wanted to help people.
I know about your feelings for her, by the way. You tried hiding them from me and yourself but I can read you like an open book.
You don't have to hold your breath anymore, Jett. Let your feelings be known - you have my permission to do so. Forget about the past trying to drag you back and take a leap for once.
Seize your moment while you still have it. That goes for everything so you can have a decent life. I want the absolute best for you and I hope you live up to that. It won't come for free, but if you try, one day you will succeed.
I'm going to stop here, I've already rambled too much nonsense. Don't stay sad for too long, brother.
Love from,
Elijah Barnes.
