Things were awkward.
Jett and I had barely spoken to each other after what happened between us. I didn't want to say anything in case I said something wrong or in case there would be a repeat of last time. I guess he felt the same as every time we spoke, we used small talk.
Eli had also noticed this but hadn't mentioned anything about it until the following week when we were sat at our bridge. It was one in the morning as usual. Lately it had been a common thing to just meet up in the middle of the night. We didn't have to explain to each other why - we just met up with no questions asked. Sometimes we'd tell one another, other times we wouldn't.
"What's going on between you and Jett?" He asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Don't play dumb, I notice things." He looked at me sideways from his spot on the edge.
"Fine." I sighed dully and explained the events of the previous week in detail.
Once I finished, he looked down at the water below us for a while in thought.
"He's never done this before." He said finally. "I don't understand why though since he still seems caught up on Caroline."
"Me neither. We haven't spoken to each other since then, as you can tell."
Eli nodded and took a sip of the hot chocolate he'd brought with him. "I guess I could ask him about it but it would be slightly awkward since we don't get along that well."
"It's okay, you don't have to."
"I do need to speak to him. I told him about- ...never mind." He hesitated for a second but then went silent again. Despite him looking calm, I couldn't help but to think something was wrong.
"What did you tell him about?" I questioned gently.
"About how I feel." He stated solemnly. "I told him I loved you."
At that moment, I can still vividly remember the way my heart felt like it was about to burst. I forgot how to breathe for a few seconds because all I could focus on were those words that he'd just said to me.
He looked afraid so he hid his face from me. From the side though, I could clearly see the blush on his cheeks and the way he refused to meet my gaze. He reminded me of an innocent child because of how shy he was.
"I-"
"You don't need to say it." He muttered. "I get that Jett already confessed to you and that you probably like him more than me."
"You know, that's kind of what Jett said to me about you too?" I smiled. "I think you two should let me decide myself which one of you I love. What if I don't love any of you in that way? I wanted to kill myself a few weeks ago, you know."
"I guess you're right." He replied.
There was no talking for a short time and I was starting to get tired but I ignored this for the time being. I loved the tranquility that the night time offered me. I had no worries when everything was peaceful and quiet.
"Follow me." Eli whispered quietly despite there being no one else around.
I nodded and he went to the side of the bridge and slid down the grassy bank where the water met the earth. The bridge was built into stone which came all the way down to the water, apart from a bit of grating that let the water roll through. Near where the grating had been planted firmly in the hill, was a small cave hidden by the bridge above it. We had to duck down to actually climb inside it.
Eli must have already been here because there was a blanket along the ground to make it more comfy and the entrance also had a cover over it to keep out unwanted guests.
"Welcome to my secret place. Only you know about this so please don't tell anyone it's here." He said from beside me.
"I won't tell a soul." I grinned, sitting down on the blanket. "What is this place?"
"I'm actually not sure. This bridge was built years and years ago so who knows what the purpose of this was? Maybe it was just a natural cave but they built stuff on top of it." He answered, shrugging his shoulders.
"It's amazing. How did you find it?"
"Well, I actually dropped my frisbee down the side of the bridge a few years ago so I came down to get it and I saw this out of the corner of my eye. I went back to explore and ever since, I've always came here." He explained happily, smiling faintly at the memory.
"It's also why I was in the park that night when you were on the bridge. I'd had a rough night so I was on my way here for a bit of solitude and then I saw you sat on the edge of my usual spot on top of the bridge."
"Are you glad you were there that night?" I grinned.
"I wouldn't change it for the world. I think it must have been some sort of miracle and I was there for a reason."
I rolled my eyes at this. "You're bringing God into this?"
"Yep. It was a miracle that I got there in time so I could get you to come down."
I frowned, remembering that night clearly as though it was only yesterday. If I closed my eyes I would be able to see the rushing water below me and the stars gazing down at me from above. I don't think the memory would ever leave me.
"What's the matter?" Eli asks, noticing the change in my mood.
"It's nothing." I reply.
"You can tell me, Ash."
I sigh. "Ever since that night, all I can do is think about it. I was ready to end it all right there and then suddenly you appeared from nowhere and stopped me. These thoughts about what could have happened won't leave me alone."
"Do you regret meeting me?"
"No." I answer quickly. "Meeting you is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I just, I don't know."
"I understand where you're coming from. I suddenly came into your life, expecting to change your mind." He said. "It isn't that easy to do."
"You've done a good job so far. I'm still here after all." I smile but it isn't a real one.
"But what's to stop you from doing it tomorrow? Or the weekend?" He questions. "I'm so scared that I'm going to wake up one morning and find out that you're dead."
"You won't." I assure him, putting my hand on his for comfort. "I won't do that to you. I won't just leave without warning because you deserve better."
For a fraction of a second, I could have sworn he looked guilty about something. I wasn't sure what but any trace of it disappeared and he smiled again.
"Good." He answered. "There's still a lot more things I want to do first."
"Like what?"
"Like this." He leant forwards quickly, pressing his lips to mine. His face had gone a shade of red because of him being shy about it. I started to kiss him back without thinking about the consequences. I didn't even think of Jett.
All I could do was think of Eli being so close to me.
We left a while later and I snuck back inside my room stealthily. I then quickly wrote another thing down on my piece of paper.
3. Fall in love truly.
