I couldn't quite begin to explain how I had been feeling since I found out about Eli being sick.
I guess it was like how a balloon gets blown up, only to be popped later on.
I think that just about summarises it. I felt like Eli had stepped into my life and brightened it up for a short amount of time and made me feel like it could actually last forever. And then, those hopes I had were popped like a balloon when it became apparent that it wouldn't last.
I had been extra nice to Eli lately, scared that if he did too much it could make him over tired or something. I could also tell he was getting frustrated at me but I couldn't help it. All I seemed to do was worry about how little time I had left with him.
He didn't seem to care at all. If anything, he seemed a lot happier. He would be in a really good mood all day even if he was in pain. He never mentioned anything about being in pain at all but I could tell.
I would sometimes watch him as he cringed when he stood up but he would never complain or make the problem be known to his mum or anyone. It annoyed me that he was such a good person sometimes.
"Eli." I said one day when we were alone. "Stop lying to yourself. To all of us."
"What do you mean?" He answered.
"You're hurting, I can tell you are. Why won't you mention it to anyone? You can always count on me to speak to."
"I'm grateful, Ash but I can't tell you." He sighed. "You've been treating me like a baby for the past week. I don't want you to worry about me so much."
"Oh god. I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to." I sat down beside him on the sofa. "I'm just scared I guess."
"Don't be." He smiled and put an arm around me. "I'll be okay."
"Stop saying that." I replied, frustrated. I leaned back and put my head on his shoulder. "You and I both know you won't be fine but you keep saying this over and over."
"Don't be like this, not today."
"Eli, just stop being so positive about everything. You have every right to complain about it. It's unfair on you."
"You said this before you know." He stated dully.
"I know." I sighed. "I just can't believe this is happening. It's hard to get used to."
"It is. But now I don't feel so upset about it because you're with me and I can always rely on you."
"You have, me, your mum, Jett and everyone else. We'll all be here for you."
"Thank you Ash." Both his arms wrapped around me and he hugged me close to him. I buried my face in his shoulder to mask how distraught I was.
We stayed like that for a little while. Silent. But somehow we were communicating in a way in which words were not needed. All that was heard were our quiet breaths and the ticking of the clock as time went by. Eli's time.
I needed to go to the shop for Eli's mum but I didn't want to leave him alone as he needed me. Eventually I decided to just take him with me as the fresh air could help him a little.
He didn't even need to answer me and just put on his shoes before walking out the front door. I walked beside him, careful not to walk too fast in case it put too much pressure on him.
Shopping only took around ten minutes as I only had a short list of items from his mum and there wasn't many people around to cause a queue. There were a few items such as bread, milk and butter in the basket I was carrying and I paid for it all for his mum as I wanted to earn my keep around the Barnes household.
