Worth Waiting For

Part 6

Phil's POV

It's been over a month since I told PJ. I've spent every waking moment thinking about what I'm going to say to Dan, but I keep putting it off. Every time I see him, I think 'oh, just one more day'. But I can't stop thinking about how I'm lying to him. I know it's not really lying, and I need to take my time, but that doesn't make it feel any better. I need to tell him, before I change my mind again.

I stand outside Dan's bedroom door for a moment, and my heart begins to beat wildly in my chest.

"You don't have to stand outside the door like a stalker, Phil" I hear Dan laugh from the other side of the door. I blush as I push the door open and go in.

I am greeted by the sight of Dan lying on his bed, his laptop balanced on his thighs, sipping Ribena. I see his wide grin, and my heart slows down a little.

"So what did you want?" Dan asks after I don't speak for a few seconds.

"Well, the thing is..." I begin, unsure of myself "I, um, need to tell you something" I look at the ground, praying for it to open up and swallow me.

"Ok, come sit down then" Dan looks concerned as he moves his drink and his laptop out of the way and makes space for me next to him. He knows something is up.

As soon as I sit down, my heart starts beating so hard that it feels like it will burst right out of my chest. I thought this would be easier the second time. I was wrong.

"It's ok Phil" Dan put a reassuring hand on my shoulder "you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but if there's anything I can do to help..."

"No" my voice comes out louder than I intended "I need to tell you, I just didn't think it would be this hard" I feel tears starting to spill down my cheeks and I try to remember how to breathe.

"Take your time Phil, whatever it is, you can always tell me"

"I'm..." I take in a deep breath. "I'm gay" There. I said it.

"Oh... is that it? So you're not dying then?" Dan begins to laugh and I can't help but smile. "You had me worried there!" he pulls me into a hug. We both shake with laughter as tears continue to fall down my face, tears of relief. Dan continues to hold me tight against his chest as he says-

"But seriously Phil, you're still you no matter what, and you'll always be my best friend, no matter who you love. And you can always talk to me about anything, ok?" He releases me and I look at him and nod, smiling.

"I know this is a big thing for you, and I'm so proud of you for being able to tell me, but it doesn't change how I see you one bit. You're still you, I'm still me and the world keeps on turning."

"Thanks Dan" I say quietly. "It means a lot to me that you still see me as me, thanks for understanding." We smile at each other, and I can't help but thank the universe for giving me such an amazing, kind person as a best friend.

"Have you told anyone else?" Dan asks.

"I told PJ about a month ago" I say, still not believing that I actually managed to say those two words out loud.

"And he was fine with it?" I nod "Of course he was, nobody minds, Phil. You can be who you want to be."

I give Dan another hug, mumbling 'thank you' over and over again.

"Now" says Dan, getting up "I'm gonna thrash you at Mario Kart".