Worth Waiting For

Part 20

PJ's POV

Where's my phone? I swear I had it a minute ago.

I go downstairs. Maybe I left it in the lounge?

My mind goes back to what happened yesterday; Phil walking in on me and Chris, our secret being revealed. It was awkward at first; I didn't really want to be outed like that. But Phil was totally fine with it; he seemed more surprised that he hadn't guessed.

Chris left late last night; he only had a day before he was going away for a film project. I just wish he could have stayed a little longer.

As I reach the bottom of the stairs, I see my phone on the table by the door. How did it get there? I think my phone moves when I'm not looking.

I go to pick it up, noticing a folded piece of paper beneath it. The paper has my name on. I open it, confusion filling my mind. Then I recognise the writing as Phil's. As I open the letter, my confusion turns to panic. He can't have. He wouldn't - I begin to read.

Dear PJ ,

I know what this looks like, but don't worry, I'm fine. Let me explain.

I've been thinking things over a lot for the past few days, and I think what happened yesterday finally made me realise what I need to do.

Seeing you and Chris made me realise how happy I could be, how amazing my life could be if I had a relationship like yours. It made me realise that I can have that, even if it's not with Dan. Maybe someday, I'll find someone who could be to me what Chris is to you.

But, right now, what I need is space. I need time to discover myself, to remember what it feels to enjoy life again. I need to go to a place where Dan won't come looking for me, because I need to have some time without him. I need to find out who I am without him. So that's what I'm doing.

I'm going to America to see my brother, who's staying out there at the moment. I need to get away from everything that reminds me of what happened; I need some time to work out who I am and what I need to do next.

I didn't tell you what I was doing because I knew you'd try to talk me out of it. And I think you probably would have succeeded. It's just that everywhere I go; Dan always seems to find me. I just need some space to think; away from him, away from everything.

I can't thank you enough for being so kind to me. You've helped me through a really hard time, and I will be forever grateful. I hope Chris knows how lucky he is to have you.

So thank you PJ, and I'll be back soon.

Phil

My hands are trembling as I finish reading the letter. Phil's gone. He's probably half way to the airport by now.

I pick up my phone, meaning to ring Phil and demand he come back here immediately. Why was my phone here anyway? When I see the text conversation that is open, I realise why.

Me: hey Dan, I was wondering if you were around today? I'm near your apartment so maybe I could come over?

Dan: sorry no I'm gonna be out all day today

Me: ok never mind. I'll see you another time

Dan: yeah see ya

The conversation ends there.

I didn't write this that. Phil must have taken my phone and pretended to be me to check if Dan was home. He must be going back to get some stuff for him he trip.

But what do I do now? As a good friend, should I respect his decision and let him go? I should I go after him? I need to decide if I can trust him to look after himself; who knows what state he's in? He looked like he'd been getting better, but I have no idea what was going on the inside.

I try calling him, but of course he doesn't answer. He went to all the trouble of setting this up; he won't listen to me now.

So I do the only thing I can do. And I hope, for all our sakes, that it's the right decision.