The Winchester Brothers

CHAPTER 21

Dean's POV

I set Ed in the back, and Sam does the same with Will. Jess is closing the manhole while I get in the front and Sam gets in the back.

"It wouldn't be right, to have her sit next to them." He said as he shuts the door.

"Right." Then I lean out the window and tell Jess to get in the front. She doesn't say anything, and gets in the front seat. She doesn't say it but I know that she wants to give them a proper goodbye. I drive back to a field we passed not too long ago. Sam and I collect some logs, make two stands and then lay Will and Ed, each on their own stand. While we are doing this Jess stays in the car, but when we finish, I go over to her.

I open the door and kneel beside the car. "Jess." She turned to look at me. Her eyes are red, and there are tear streaks running down her face. One falls down her cheek as she faces me. "We need you to come do this with us. It's what your brother's would have wanted." I hold out my matchbox for her to take. She looks down at it and slowly moves her hand over to them. She takes it from my hand, I stand and move to the other side of the door and she gets out of the car. Sam sets the gas jug next to him as he finishes pouring it on the logs of wood. I follow her over to to him, letting her go at her own pace. She moves slowly, keeping her head down to look at the matches that she plays with in her hands. She stands next to Sam, and we stand on either side of her, all facing the stands. She flips the matches in her hands a few times before opening it and taking one out. She slides it across the igniter on the side of the box, stares at the flame for a bit then throws it on Ed's stand. She doesn't hesitate to do the same to Will's. Their stands go up in flames immediately as she match hits it. We stood there for a while in silence, then Jess turned and handed me the matchbox. She walked back to the car, but got in the back this time. 

The drive back to the motel was quiet. When we got there, Jess went straight to her room and we went in to ours. I wanted to go in with her but I stopped myself. Why? Why did I stop myself? Jess packed her bag with the door open so when we were done we went in. She had finished packing her bag along with Ed and Will's. She zipped up the last bag then grabbed them all and tried to walk them out of the room. On the way to the door, she was struggling with the third bag so I tried to grab it. 

"Here, let me help you." I say as I go to reach for the bag, but she swats my hand away.

"I got it." She says as she sets the bag down and readjusts her grip.

"Jess, just-"

"Leave me alone Dean." Then she walks faster to the door. The third bag hits the door frame but she payed no attention to that, swung the bag forward and kept walking. Sam and I grab our bags and leaver her room. We hand the keys to the guy at the front desk then go out to the car where Jess is waiting for me to unlock the trunk. When I do so, she throws the bags in then gets in the back.

The drive home felt extra long because of the silence. The radio was off, and nobody said anything. I would check on Jess by looking at her through the rear view mirror, and every time I checked, she would be staring out the window.

After parking in the driveway, I unlock the trunk and Jess grabs the three bags again. This time I said nothing. We follow her inside, and she sets the bags against the wall next to the door. She starts to walk towards Sam's room but I stop her before she gets there. 

"Jess stop." She stopped but she didn't turn to face me. "I know there is nothing we can do that can take back what happened but-"

"Exactly." She says as she turns around. "There's nothing you can do. So why don't you just leave me alone!" Tears started to form in her eyes again.

"We can't do that. You-they, were our responsibility and now they're dead."

"Oh so, what you feel guilty? Is that it? And you helping me with my bags, or me talking to you about my feelings is supposed to take your guilt away? Well too fucking bad Dean! Because no matter what you do, I will never forget that my brothers died on a hunt that you led!" Tears streaming down her face she turned, walked into Sam's room, and slammed the door. 

"Dean-" Sam said when I pushed passed him and went outside. He followed me out to the impala. "Where are you gonna go, Dean? What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know, Sam. But clearly she doesn't want me here, so you just stay with her. I'll be back by morning." I get in the car and drive off. Every member of her family is dead. All of them are dead because of me.