The Girl in the Locket

Chapter Thirty Eight

I had the journal tucked under my pillow, and I had been reading it since Drew had dropped me at the hotel a couple hours ago. I pulled it out and laid on my back in my wet towel after a shower. The words were all starting to tap into something deep inside of me.

Amber has me on my knees. I want to be bathed in her essence, to touch her with my hands, to taste her with my mouth, and to know everything her mind has to share. I wish I could explain it, I am overcome, and I cannot rid myself of the haze around me. Amber has captured my heart, my soul and my mind. I know it already, and I'm pretty sure she has an idea that I will be hers in my entirety for the duration I am on this earth, every last breath, devoted.

I read the words again and again falling for them myself as if my hand indeed wrote them and my heart did feel them. I still didn't feel like I was at a place in my mind where I was confident I was gaining back Sydney Presley in her entirety, but she was getting stronger and it wouldn't be long until she fought the war with my mind and broke free from her prison.

I didn't know if I would even be able to cope if she did finally come back to me, or if the sheer enormity of the last five years colliding with my conscious mind would destroy me mentally.

If I remembered what the feelings in the journals described, would I cope with her loss? Like she had tried to cope with mine all of this time? Would I feel like I had cheated on her with James? Could I bear the guilt of my absence from her life and the pain it had caused her? And the guilt of what I had robbed her of. There was so much that she had missed and I wasn't sure if it was even fair to burden her with that knowledge. Surely if she never knew it would be better, and she could go on with her life never having the burden of the knowing, and of the truth. I knew though as I placed the journal back under my pillow that even if that was true, I couldn't live with myself if I didn't.

My cell phone rang beneath me. I pulled it from under the sheets beside me.

"Hey Drew" I answered.

"Hey Sam, just reminding you to be ready for Ten. I'll pick you up out front. I'll be in a cab. I would drive but I think we deserve some drinks to welcome you back, or if anything, to wet the baby's head...and since you have had two since I last saw you... I would expect us both to be pretty paralytic by Eleven"

"Sounds like a plan" I confirmed, before she hung up.

I sat myself up and looked to my suitcase. "I guess it's now or never"

...

The club was at maximum capacity. Amber had snuck in around the back, this was her last appearance in Florida, and tomorrow she said goodbye forever. No one yet knew it, but Amber Rose Beaton was selling up and moving on. She was a changed woman.

It didn't take long before girls lined up beside her at the VIP bar.

"Can I get you a drink" asked a fiery red head.

Amber looked over her shoulder. "Sure" she replied. Why not? this was her last hurrah. She may as well enjoy her night.

"Really?" The red head asked, shocked.

"Yeah go ahead" Amber agreed, laughing at her open mouthed expression.

"I'm sorry" the girl apologised "it's just I've asked you a million times, and you almost never say yes" The red head told her, moving closer and touching Ambers arm.

"Tonight is your lucky night" Amber replied jokingly.

Amber was dressed for the theme tonight, it was gold and black. She had bought a gold jacket with sleeves rolled up to her elbows and a turned up collar at her neck, under it a black tank top. Her fair hair was rock chic style, teased gently with a slight quiff, and her tight black trousers were fitted to her athletic figure. She wore her signature boots, and tonight they were black with a gold trim. Even Ambers makeup was applied with thought, lots of eye liner, long lashes and a lick of Chap Stick on her full lips.