Hey friends so I got a funny story.
So there's this thing in my town where on Thursdays at lunch, one of the local churches (there's like ten) makes kraft dinner in the basement and lets people come in at lunch and have some free KD.
wow I was a poet and I didn't even know it.
I'll go die now. MOVING ON.
But anyways, basically the high school population of my school abuses the shit out of it by getting all of it. so my friends and i never go cause we always eat somewhere else and there's people. But instead we decided to go today and face all those people.
So we walk over to the church from school (literally five minutes but it was an excruciatingly painful experience) and as we're walking down the stairs to the basement, I get a clear view of my ex from eighth grade who told my mother to go f-herself. And then he looks up and we locked eyes.
I legit felt like I was in a movie where there's that one scene where a person is sweating rapidly from nervousness and I was smart and was standing next to my friends Marley. So we were in a basic staring contest, and I trip up myself and almost fall down the stairs. I'm so smart lmao.
So we all get plates and a table in the very back, and we get our food and everything, and we got a shit ton of kraft dinner, and these guys were sitting next to our table, and one of them was our friend, and he got up and flipped the chair with him and yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" so I decided to scream,
"Blake, we're in the house of Jesus! Have some respect!" And everyone at my table started dying and it soon became a joke. Here are some things that were said.
"Who notches me to take a shot of water in the house of Jesus?"
"Can we say grace at the house of Jesus?"
"Don't swear in the fucking house of Jesus!"
So we left, and as we were walking back, we joined up with some other mates who went, and I was screwing around, and my friend Lindsay unzipped part of my crush's backpack, let's call him Max, and he whipped around and I said it was Lindsay, and I was like, "Max, I'm gonna be a good friend and zip it back up." Btw I got friendzoned like three weeks ago SO.
And then after that, we were on my school's street, and Marley unzipped part of his bag and he whipped around and Marley said it was Lindsay, and he was like, "Lindsay, welcome to your tape."
And I made the most awkward noise.
So that happened.
Yeah so that's cool.
here is a collection of some of my personal favourite quotes of today:
"Blake we are in the house of Jesus have some respect!" - Em 2017
"Who notches me to take a shot of water in the house of Jesus?"
"Lindsay, welcome to your tape."
"Will you give me five dollars to chase that crow?"
"Yes."
"*chases crow* where's the fucking money?"
"I will pay you five dollars to jump on Max."
"You said you'd pay me five to chase a fucking crow!"
"Yes I know but you jumping on your lover is a lot better to see."
"So this is like sex, right?"
"We're naming acids you bellend."
"I hate correcting things, but I love failing people."
"What should our team name be?"
"Teddy bears?"
"The squares?"
"Teddy bear squared!"
"Straight from the mouth of a higher level maths kid!"
"..and there was a girl in my first ever math class that I taught and she had a back tattoo."
"You mean a tramp stamp?"
"Yes."
"What was it?"
"It just said, "give 'er"."
Yeah well that's me being awkward and self deprecating
