Last One Standing ~ TWD Daryl Dixon

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Jo

I slowed and then stopped, my feet wouldn't keep moving. I stood frozen about a hundred feet back from the gate as Spencer stepped forward and slid the tarp back. Negan stood on the other side. They spoke quietly together, but I was too far away to hear their low voices. I let out a shuddering breath. 

The slap of Rick's cowboy boots against the asphalt made me turn towards him. When he spotted Negan on the outside of the gate he slowed. He glanced my way as he passed me and I saw the concern flicker in his eyes. I wondered what all Carl had told him. If the concern was just for Negan or if he also worried that I was going to be a problem. I sucked in a breath. 

Stop, reset. 

I couldn't let myself be more of a problem for my family. I needed to be part of the solution, not an unknown entity that they couldn't rely on. 

Stop, reset. 

Rick walked the rest of the way to the gate. His shoulders were tight and his hand hovered over his hip. He glanced in annoyance at Spencer and pulled the gate open.

Negan said something more to Rick and then he turned and stalked towards a walker that was approaching. He bashed it's head in with a single swing of his bat. "Easy peezy lemon squeezy!" he exclaimed laughing. "All right everybody!" he called loudly. "Let's get started!"

I took a step to the right and could see a line up of Negan's men behind him, fifty at least. 

Negan swaggered in through the gate and slammed his bloodied bat into Rick's hand. "Hot diggity dog!" he exclaimed looking around. "This place is magnificent!"

He swung back around to face Rick and the two of them talked some more too quiet for me to hear from this distance. I needed to decide what I wanted to do. I could head back to the house and quickly get cleaned up. It might be easier; I wasn't sure how much control I had in me just now. Maybe if I had some time to prepare myself for inevitably facing Negan I would have better control. 

I had just taken a step backwards to turn towards the house when Negan's voice rang out loudly from the gates. "It's my hot friend! Get over here sweetheart," He ordered, effectively eliminating my choices.

I swallowed, glancing once at the target. It had been a mistake to leave my knives behind, I wanted them now. Not necessarily to use them, but their weight on my body would help keep me grounded.

"You can leave your toys there. Pick 'em up later," Negan commanded with a knowing smile.

I took a deep breath and walked towards him. Negan's eyes were on me the whole way and I didn't like it. It made me wish I was wearing something more substantial than the leggings and low cut tank top and Daryl's flannel didn't do much to make me feel better. I wanted jeans, and my leather jacket and my kukri. Something more substantial against my skin would make me feel better. 

The knowing smile on Negan's face told me he was enjoying the view as his eyes ranged up and down my body as I approached the group.

It wasn't until I was only five feet away that I spotted him. He was standing slightly behind Negan and Dwight. His hair was snarled and hung forward shielding his face from everyone around him. His chin was ducked down so his eyes were low and his shoulders were hunched forward. Everything in his body language was wrong. I almost didn't recognize him. I would have never imagined Daryl could look like that. This would have gone against everything that made Daryl who he was. It made me sick to my stomach to think what it would have taken to make such a drastic change in only a few days.