Last One Standing ~ TWD Daryl Dixon

118

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Jo

Walking through the streets of Alexandria felt like I was walking through a dream. Carl's hand still gripped my wrist and he gently pulled me behind him. Most of the houses were dark and that felt off, it felt wrong. My feet were clumsy and I tripped as the toe of my boot caught the asphalt awkwardly. Carl slowed and turned to look at me, I could see the concern on his face despite the dim light and the bandage that still covered half his face.

I looked around myself in bewilderment not understanding what was happening. Suddenly, the adrenaline and instincts that had kept me moving for the last few days drained away and I was left with nothing. I was empty and hollow and had nothing left to keep me going.

I fought to straighten myself, but it was like my body belonged to someone else, too heavy and too clumsy for me to control. My body had never felt like this, not without me being seriously hurt. My body had always felt like a weapon. This was dangerous, but I was so tired. Too tired.

I heard a door open behind us and I tried to turn towards it. The movement over-balanced me and I nearly fell. Carl was there and wrapped an arm around my waist before I could fall. He staggered under my weight but he managed to catch me. I heard thumping feet and suddenly someone else was there to help Carl hold me up.

"Is she okay?" A girls voice. Long hair brushed against me and I realized it was Enid. "Is she hurt?"

"I don't know," Carl's voice was over my head as he spoke to Enid as though I wasn't there. "I can't tell if any of it is hers. Help me get her inside."

I was losing time then because I don't know how I got to our house. I don't know if I passed out or if things just stopped registering.

The next thing I realized I was standing at the bottom of the stairs staring up at the empty porch and dark house. Panic rose and my breath started coming in short sharp pants.

"What's wrong with her?" Enid's voice was low and filled with fear.

I was being scary again, but not in the normal way. Not in the way I was used to. I was used to people being scared of me, not for me. Even knowing that in my fuzzy brain I couldn't face the dark and empty house.

He wasn't here.

That's why I had been in the forest. I remembered that now. He wouldn't be here waiting inside, just as he wasn't waiting on the porch. I would be alone. I didn't do well alone.

"We need to get her inside," Carl said.

"I think she's having a panic attack."

Carl grunted and started up the stairs. They were supporting almost all of my weight and even knowing that I wasn't able to help them. I was too caught up, unable to push past my racing and sluggish limbs.

I couldn't go in there. I couldn't face it. It made it too real. I needed to leave. I needed to go back to the forest and find them. I needed to find where they had taken him.

I lost time again.

My next moment of lucidity came when a light clicked on, blinding me. I was leaning against Enid and Carl was standing in front of me.

I think he had been saying my name for a while. I blinked up at him in confusion.

He nodded when he met my gaze. "You need to get cleaned up," he said in a voice that reminded me of Rick when he took charge.

I didn't like that idea. I didn't want others to see me like this. I tried to stand up straighter on my own but my whole body was shaking. I leaned back against the wall and slid down onto my butt.