finding my way

Peter ^^^

" you will do fine tell Jason how it is. don't get all shy and let him take over. oh but dress sexy just incase Emily sees you she'll be jealous and lord knows she deserves it!" Rosie is my best friend I love her so much, but she's not really sensitive, but she gave me the boost of confidence I needed "thanks Rosie, I miss you! maybe after me and Jason hang out we can?? I know I'm gonna need my girl after today!" I say into the phone ,while putting on my white lace sundress. "yeah that shoulda great! I'm free tonight around... 6:30? if that works for you?" "perfect see ya then" I say hanging up. After finishing getting ready I'm pretty proud of how I look I have a messy fish tail braid on my right shoulder and simple cat eye make up with nude lips. BEEP BEEP!! "Jess!! Jason's here!!" my mom screams to me from down in the living room. "coming!" I slip on my turquoise stilettos and head downstairs.

********

15 minutes.. that's how long it's been since he said anything. he doesn't even look at me. the least he could do was turn the radio on but even that he doesn't do. I honestly don't even know where we are going, I thought I was the one who was mad. and oh I'm very mad at him! but also curious about why he's mad at me. After 23 minutes of no talking he parks the car at a small park. Words can't explain how awkward this is! I break the silence "what's wrong with you?" I try and sound brave but it comes out like a whisper. He still doesn't say a word. I try again "Jason listen" I turn towards him even though he won't look at me. "I think we are both upset with each other, and I want us to talk about it, I want us to" he interrupts me "YOU WANT US TO TALK ABOUT WHAT!? WHY DO YOU JUST MAKE DRAMA!? EMILY TOLD ME THE STUFF YOU SAID ABOUT HER!" he yells he didn't look at me until these last few words. "who are you now?" he says his voice cracking. I don't even know what to say he never yells at me! I'm not making drama I HATE drama! and I haven't spoken to Emily in forever!!! what is he talking about? "do you believe her? because I haven't said one mean thing to her in my life. and I'm honestly sad that you think in creating drama. you know what drama is? leaving a freaking note after an argument telling me i'll never be happy in a relationship then never explaining it!!" I say in one furious breath getting out into the warm air of the park.

I hear his car door slam closed. he's quick at my heels walking faster than I can in my high heels "oh really well then why did she call me crying because of you?" he says "because she can't stand that we are friends so she lies ok! I'm not gonna sugar coat it she's a freaking lier!!" I scream losing all self control I have. "wow.. I can't believe you you're the lier you're making up stories to make you look better! you always make yourself look like the victim and I'm done with it!" he yells back. enough I honestly am not gonna stand here yelling back and forth with him to prove a point. I'm leaving with the small bit of dignity I have left. "me too. I'm done with it Jason. I don't know why I thought you would figure it out, but I did. Jason I have a problem and I guess Emily might be a nice girl and all the other girls, but my problem is.." tears are pouring down my face along with a mixture of rain. "I love you" I say with no passion only hurt, "I love you and I wish I didn't." I add and walk away leaving him standing there silent.