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CHRISSY SAT in the back seat of her parents car. She was allowed to come home, but she didn't want to, didn't want to go in the room where there were multiple pictures of her and Jeff hung up. She didn't want to sleep in the bed that Jeff had slept in with her. She didn't think she could do it.
Her left arm was in a cast, she still had tiny little cuts all over her body, lots of bruises and she had a neck brace. She was in a lot of pain but no pain amounted to the loss she felt, the emptiness and loneliness that was in her heart, she couldn't imagine what Jeff's parents were feeling. She wanted to see them but say what? 'I'm sorry for killing your son for my dislike to his favorite song?' They thought he was drinking, and he wasn't and that's what she felt most guilty for.
Clay, sat next to her, reached over and squeezed her hand softly, she shook her head and turned to look out the window. Clay kept trying to get her to open up, vent it out, get all her feelings off her chest, but she was scared. Scared that if she cried again she wouldn't be able to stop.
Chrissy sat in the living room staring at a wall in deep thought. She felt like she needed to be close to Jeff, she couldn't go to his house. She decided to go to his 'special place' on the small cliff with the tiniest waterfall in existence, the place he'd taken her because he loved her and wanted to share it with her.
Clay was upstairs in his room, her mom had gone to work and her dad was in his office. She felt this would be the perfect time to sneak off. She picked up her car keys and limped to her car. She found it extremely difficult to drive with one arm in a cast, but she made it. She walked up the pathway to the top of the cliff to think, she just needed to think. When she got to the top and got into the big hole in the ground, tears freely fell out of her eyes.
She looked around, catching eyes with the waterfall, the way Jeff used to smile at it, she looked at the wall where he'd carved both their names with a love heart around it. She found herself not being able to breath. She backed up against the wall and slid down it sobbing. "Please come back to me, please." She whispered, putting her hand on her forehead.
"I love you so much and you should be the one still here-and I fucking hate myself for letting you leave me. So please, baby come back to me. Please?" She was expecting a reply, she hadn't gone crazy. She just thought that maybe, with the smallest possibility he could hear her, and would forgive her.
She sat there for hours. It was getting dark. She wiped her tears, despite them still flowing out of her eyes, and began walking back to her car. She was almost there when she heard a voice. "Hey, you okay?" She turned her body, because she couldn't turn her neck, and looked at the guy. He was called Tony, friends with Clay.
Chrissy looked at him with a cold stare. "Sorry that was a really stupid question, I was um-friends with Jeff..." his voice trailed off lightly as he saw her tear stained face. She nodded, smiling softly, remembering that he was loved by everyone, friends with everyone. "He was a really good guy and I'm sorry he's gone." Tony said, resting his arm on the girl's shoulder, slightly shocked by her injured appearance. "I know." She said simply. She knew he was a good guy, he was the best guy. "I met him in 3rd grade." Tony whispered looking up at her. He wanted to talk to her, he felt like he needed too. He heard from Clay and around school that she wasn't doing too good.
"You did?" She asked surprised. "Yeah we were once good friends, shared a lot of memories together." She sniffled looking up at Tony.
"You think you could tell me some?" For the remainder of the night they both sat in Tony's car sharing stories about Jeff, and she enjoyed it. It distracted her, even thought they were talking about the thing that was on her mind, they were talking about him when he was alive.
