Star-Crossed Lovers

Chapter 13: It was me

I spent my Saturday bonding with my mom at the mall. We went early to do some grocery shopping as well as clothing. I needed to clear my head from Hunter and shopping has always been a great distraction. I bought myself a new pair of high waisted jeans, a denim jacket and a floral dress that made my boobs look one hundred. Yesterday Haynes, Keith and Foster got the lease for the house next to ours so they moved out. The house felt empty without them. I felt less safe but somehow more freedom. They were literally next door and I knew that I would most probably end up there more than my own house to chill with them. We got home about the three and I stumbled into he kitchen carrying bags. I placed them on the counter and let out a sigh of relief.

"Darling, should I whip us up something to eat?" My mom asked, as she unpacked the bags. I shook my head.

"Not really hungry."

"How about I make later something for us to eat and make us coffee now?"

"Sounds great mom." I smiled and plopped myself down on the bar stool in the kitchen.

My mom put the kettle on and took two mugs out. I watched her as she put a scoop of coffee in each mug then adding sugar.

"How's school going darling?" She asked

I let out a deep breath. "Exhausting."

"And how are you and that boy, Hunter?" She winked.

Just hearing his name upset me and I rolled my eyes at the sound of it. "Honesty mom I don't care how he is."

She furrowed her brows as she leaned against the kitchen counter and folded her arms. "What do you mean?"

"Ag, it's nothing really." I was in no mood to speak about what happened with Hunter, aside from the embarrassment I was just completely over it and didn't want to waste my time speaking about it.

"I know that your dad doesn't want you dating or falling for guys because of the situation we are in, but I say do it. I want you to be a normal teenager nonetheless. The only thing that I ask of you is not to tell anyone of us, Lance and the witness protection. We can't trust anyone else."

"I totally understand, I would never tell anyone." I gave her a reassuring smile then continued. "Don't worry mom, the feelings I have towards Hunter are no where near love. In fact, it's the complete opposite."

"Why? What happened between you guys?"

"Let's just say that he was really mean."

She frowned, but saw how I wasn't in the mood to elaborate further. The kettle finished boiling and she poured the water into the mugs. "No matter what happened between you guys, always be the bigger person. It won't just make that person feel bad, but also it will make you feel better in doing the right thing."

She added the milk to the coffee and stirred it, then brought my cup to me. I took a small sip before letting out a satisfied 'ah'. "Don't worry mom, I'm done with boys as in forever."

"You're done with what?" A husky voice asked, and I knew it was my dad. I turned around and saw him walking towards us with a smile and a book in his hand.

"Boys." My mom giggled.

"You better be." He warned.

"I am, besides they too much trouble and heartache." I rolled my eyes and took another sip of coffee.

"This time it's no boys you hear me." He said harshly and left me with a puzzled look. I thought he was only joking, but his smile disappeared. "After what happened last time, you are not going to see any boys or party."

"I know I messed up when I got drunk dad! I feel bad enough but it was a one time thing!"

He tossed his book on the sofa before shaking his head. "If you only knew the extent that your mistakes has put us in."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I exclaimed.

"Stop it, both of you!" My mother said, and stepped in between my father and I.

"It's time that she knew, she's old enough to be drinking so she's old enough to know her mistakes." He barked

"Honey no!" My mom screamed at him and made me confused. What was he talking about?

"It's your fault that Lance found us after you ended up in jail. Your fingerprints entered the system and led him straight to us."

My mouth fell open as his words hit me. My eyes widened for I couldn't believe what he just said. Confusion struck me and I felt dimwitted. The more I thought of it, the more I realised that it was true. It's my fault. I led Lance right to us. Oh my fucking word. Tears streamed down my eyes as I looked at my dad in utter shock.

"You shouldn't have told her." My mother said.

"She needed to know."

They were busy arguing but it felt as if I could only see their mouths movie and their voices was gone. I was overwhelmed with such emotions that I couldn't think straight. I shut my eyes and took a deep breathe. "Guys" I said softly but they didn't hear me and continued bickering. "Guys!" I yelled louder and it caught their attention. Their eyes fell on me and I held back my sobbing to speak.

"You know dad, it might be my fault that Lance found us but it's your fault that we're in this mess in the first place. You chose to do the right thing but look where it brought us." I threw my hands up in the air. "I had to grow up in fear and that's all thanks to you." I pointed to him and the tears came crashing down my cheeks once again. His eyes fell to the ground and I saw how guilt crept in him and his anger towards me subsided. He called my name out as I ran up the stairs into my room. I shut my door behind me and fell on the bed. I cried into my pillow and clung to it so tight as if it was all I had. What was wrong with me? It felt as if every man in my life was against me. Jacob, Hunter and now my dad. He was cruel to have told me like that. I didn't see the loving father I knew, instead the man who turned on his own. Fuck my life.

After I ran out of water in my body, my tears stopped. Maybe the water inside my dried up or maybe I felt a bit better, a bit stronger. Calmness came over me after I laid on my bed for about an hour. I was happy that my parents didn't come bursting in to apologize or ask if I'm fine, because I needed alone time. I pulled myself out of bed and went to the bathroom. I caught glimpse of myself in the mirror and turned to look. My eyes were red and puffy from all the crying. I trailed my fingers over my swollen lips and frowned. The tears I shed tonight was for everyone that has ever hurt me, but the sad thing is that I'll probably cry again because you're never done getting hurt. Life comes with pain and like they say, it demands to be felt.