You got a jawline like a model
You stay fresh from head to toe
Got your own money, never borrow
On your grind, I like your hustle
But you're no good for me
Cuz them pretty boys not pretty
On the inside of they souls
And even though I know you're bad...
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"Girl slow down on them drinks." I told Mary as she poured herself another glass of wine. I was having a girls night with Jada, Mary, and Karen who was Jodeci's assistant.
"Girl I'm sorry but this wine is amazing."
We all laughed. "So how's everything with you Ari? You and DeVante still on a break?" Jada asked picking out a movie.
"Yeah.. His therapist said its best to take this break so he can realize his actions can cost our relationship. Plus, I need to be to myself. I'm burnt out by always tending to Donald's needs."
She nodded. "Girl that's what love will do."
"We'll have you seen him?" Mary asked looking at me.
"I saw him a couple days ago because he begged me to." All three of them snapped their heads in my direction.
"How was that?" Karen asked. "I mean he always talks about how he misses you. The other day that nigga started crying and I was just like uhh woo woo woo."
We all laughed at her craziness. "It wasn't bad. I mean I saw him and all the old feelings came rushing back. I just wanted to tell him I forgive him and lay next to him writing songs."
They all made a sad face. "It's nothing wrong with loving him Arrington. He's your first real boyfriend, your first love, the person you lost your virginity to. He's like your best friend.. You just keep being strong princess. He's changing himself a lot. I'm proud of him because his head is a lot more clearer. The time apart is good." Karen said hugging me.
"I know.. It's just hard. I miss him so much guys. It's almost been two months. Despite his behavior at times, he is truly a sweetheart. We used to just sit and talk for hours and now it's like I have to cut the conversations short because I know if we keep talking I'm gonna break down my walls and let him back in. I need to know for sure from his actions that he's changing before I let him back in.. I'm sorry y'all. I don't mean to be sappy but I miss my man. I'm gonna go lay down."
I walked to my room and laid down. I closed my eyes to take a nap when Jada came inside. "Umm.. DeVante is here. You want me to send him back here or tell him you're sleeping?"
I sat wiping my face. "You can send him. How do I look?"
She made a face. "Girl like you either woke up from a bomb ass sleep or you was crying your eyes out. Let's hope he sees the first option." She laughed as she walked out the door.
Soon I heard the door open and close again. I turned over and saw De at the door. He stared at me studying my face before slowly walking up to me.
"Hey." He said smiling while sitting next to me.
"Hi." I said lowly. It got quiet for a moment before he spoke again.
"I was driving around and I passed your complex so I thought I'd come check on you. Why you not out there with the girls?" He asked looking at me intently.
I shrugged my shoulders. "I just wanted some time alone. You know.. To think."
He nodded and stared at the wall along with me. "Why were you crying?"
"Got a lot going through my mind. You know me, I hold things in."
He nodded and chuckled. "One day that's gonna kill you."
"I'll remember that when I'm dead. How's the music?"
"It's been cool.. I wrote a song this morning. I think we're gonna put it on the second album when we start recording."
"What's it called?"
"Feenin'"
I nodded. "It's got a ring to it."
He smiled at me. "I thought you'd say that. I recorded it for you.. It don't got the guys on it. It's just me and my piano." He handed me the CD and when our hands touched we looked into each other's eyes. I took it and stood up placing it on my dresser. I turned around and he was staring at me.
"I see you went and got some more tattoos.. I like the new earring."
"Yeah, you know I got a little addiction to them."
"So how you been? New medicine treating you okay?"
He nodded. "Yeah.. Sometimes I can't write songs, but I'm figuring it out." He got up walking up to me.
"Did you tell your psychiatrist?"
"Yeah he said he's gonna see if he can get a lower dosage." I nodded looking up at him. He grabbed my hand and kissed it. "I sure do miss you Noel."
I smiled looking away. "I'm gonna get back to the girls. I'll talk to you later?" I asked.
He nodded kissing my forehead. "Yeah, I'll call you later tonight." He stared at me some more before placing a kiss to my lips. I closed my eyes and then sighed pushing him away.
"Donald don't — don't do that please. I'm already vulnerable.. Don't. I'm trying to stay strong, not fall back 50 steps."
He nodded. "I'm sorry.. I'll call you later. Don't forget about the song." I said a quiet okay as he exited the bedroom closing my door.
I let out a deep breath sitting on my bed. I let out a few tears and laid down listening to to the tape he brought.
Lady I'm hooked on you There's nothing else I'd rather do Than spend my last dime For a drop of your time Surely girl without a doubt You know you got me strung out And I need you more and more Cause you are my joy
You got me feenin'.. I can't leave you alone You got me feenin' Girl I'm feenin' for you I can't leave you alone You got me feenin' I can't leave you alone You got me feenin' Girl I'm feenin' for you I can't leave you alone You got me feenin'
