Bad Boy (DeVante Swing)

She's Out of My Life

Arrington Noel DeGrate
April 27, 2004

"No Dal, I can't do it. I'm not keeping my baby in this environment. If he wants to act as if he's still 20 that's on him. We have a 2 year old, I'm 5 months pregnant, and I'm the only one ever home. On top of that his new assistant Tanya wants his dick. I told him she likes him and he didn't believe me. She can have him." I said to Dalvin as I packed my stuff.

"Arrington you know he loves you. I'm not sure what's in his head now, but he loves you."

"All he does is drink, smoke weed, and be at that damn studio. I can't do it. Zyla deserves better than this and so does our unborn son."

He froze. "It's a boy?" I nodded my head.

"I found out yesterday at the appointment Donald promised he'd come to. I can't go this long feeling unappreciated. You know I love your brother Dal. I don't want to be with anyone else, but I have kids to think about now."

He sighed. "At least tell me where you're going Ari. I promise I won't tell him, but I need to make sure you guys are safe. You're family."

"We'll be in Maine. I know he'll never look there and I'll have time to get myself together. When DJ is going to be born then I'll fly out to West Palm and you can bring him with you. I already told your mom, she has all the numbers. If he wants to speak you do three way, I don't want him having my contact information. He needs to get himself together."

Dalvin wiped the tears that fell from my eyes. "I'm sorry sis."

"I just want us to be a family. I really love him Dal. I planned to spend the rest of my life with him and now I gotta go through extreme measures for him to wake up."

"Just take the time to focus on you and the kids. I'll drop you guys at the airport. Let hurry cause I know he's coming soon."

He got the bags in the car and put Zyla in her car seat. Donald and I finally got pregnant with Zyla Marie DeGrate and she was born January 12, 2002. Now I'm pregnant again by Donald hasn't been himself. He's drinking, doing drugs, and staying out the house. I told him he needs to go to rehab before he loses his family because it's only so much I can take. I never show action and that's why he thinks it's okay. But with the help of his parents, Kayla, Mary, my parents, and the guys we decided it's best if I take a break. So I'm going to Augusta, Maine. I bought a nice house out there big enough for me and Zy.

I just need him to realize we're his family and he's breaking us apart. No matter how much I love him, I don't want my daughter growing up thinking it's okay to be treated like this. I hugged Dalvin goodbye as I boarded my plane. Off to a new environment where I can get some clarity.

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Donald Earle DeGrate
April 28, 2004

"Ari? Zy? Where y'all hiding at? Daddy home and ready to have family time." I said smiling as I held a toy elephant for Zyla and a diamond necklace for Ari.

I walked around the house and saw no signs of them. I walked in our room and all of Arrington's stuff was gone. I scrunched up my eyebrows in confusion.

I saw a note on the bed.

Dear Donald,
If you see this then that means you realize I'm gone. The constant drinking, smoking, lying, and being out all hours of the night has taken a toll on me. You're not 20 years old, we're grown adults with children. For the past 13 years I've been there through the ups and downs, but my heart is numb. I love you so much and I don't see myself with anyone else, but I can't take coming in second to your lifestyle. You need to focus on what you want in life and when you're ready you let me know. Zyla and I are safe. I'm not going to tell you where I am cause all you'll do is come and make up excuses saying how you're going to change. I need action along with results. Your parents and friends know where I am. If you need to contact me just tell Dalvin and he'll give me a call. I honestly don't know how much more I can take from you. I want this to work, but it's hard when I'm the only one putting in the effort. Oh and by the way, we're having a boy. I planned on naming him after you. I'll be giving birth in West Palm Beach, Fl at the hospital I was born at. I would never keep DJ or Zyla away from you, but I refuse to have them think that they deserve to be last in your priorities or that a man should treat his wife as if she's not there. You were so set that you have me and I'm not going anywhere that you forgot to put in the work you did when you were trying to get me. I pray you have a good life and check yourself into rehab. I'll never stop loving you.
Best wishes,
Arrington DeGrate

I stared at the paper for what seemed like hours. How could she just leave? Why didn't she talk to me? Where is she? I got up and texted Dalvin to come over.

Within 30 minutes there was a knock at my door. I opened it not even greeting him. "Where is my family?" He sighed walking in. I closed the door and stared at him. "Dal stop playing with me. Where is my wife and kids?"

"They're out of the state."

I scrunched up my eyebrows. "Well what state?"

"I'm not allowed to tell you. None of us are."

"You're my brother, your loyalty is with me."

"Yes, but I also love my niece and nephew and I care about Arrington's sanity. You have a good woman De. She's been nothing but down for you even when you told her about your disorder and the people you killed. All the times you were crazy she still stayed. Now you want to put all the shit in front of her? We not in 93 no more. I've always had your back. Never once did I tell her about the times you was cheating when we was on tour even when it pained me to lie to her. Let's not forget when we thought that chick was pregnant but luckily it wasn't yours. I've always been there and so has she. You think she doesn't know you used to cheat? She knows De, she told me how she had women pop up on her. How some nights you'd smell like perfume and have lipstick on your collar but she still stayed. For some odd reason she truly loves you. She stays because she still sees the Donald she fell in love with. She left because she realized her sanity and her kids wellbeing supersede whatever emotion she has towards you. You want Zyla to think its okay for a man to treat her like shit? You want your son treating women like crap and hating you for dogging out his mom?! Don't talk to me about loyalty when you barely have a loyal bone in your body. Oh and for your information I fought for you. I told her how much you love her even though you have a sick way of showing it. You're lucky she just left and didn't hit you with divorce papers. But I'll tell you something, the way she looked when she left here... Divorce isn't too far from her mind."

I sighed. "I don't want a divorce. It's almost been 10 years of marriage. I love her. I know I fuck up a lot but I do love her. I'll do anything for her and she should know that."

"Well she doesn't. Your actions don't match your words. Get it together De. You got a good woman and a beautiful family. Some guy will come along and remind her of her worth."

"Aight man.. I'm gonna go lay down. Can I at least contact her?"

"She said you can call her but I'd have to call her and then call you. She doesn't want you having her number or where she's at. She said she wants clarity."

I sighed. "Alright man, I guess I'll call tomorrow morning."

"Alright bro. I'm gonna head home, she's safe though De. I talked to her before I came and she said she landed fine and they're settling in the house. Apparently ZyZy was asking about you. I'll call you tomorrow so you guys can talk."

I nodded my head as he let himself out. I mean I knew Ari was getting tired cause she would give me hints but I just never truly thought she would leave. The past 13 years she's always been there so for her to be gone is weird. It's like a part of me is missing. I just gotta talk to her tomorrow to see what steps I have to do. The drinking and partying has to end. She's right I'm a dad, I've been dad for a minute but with my other kids their mothers aren't important in my life so I was free to do me. I went upstairs and laid down on the bed that was supposed to have Ari in it.

I checked the time that read 10:30pm. Usually she would be laying in bed with some pajama shorts and a tank top on rubbing her stomach saying how she finally got Zyla to go to bed. Then she would grab her bible and read a chapter before saying a prayer and turning off the lights to sleep.

She'd stare at me in the dark thinking I don't notice and once I laid down she'd lay her head on my chest and tell me goodnight then fall into a deep sleep. I fucked all that up because I wanted to be Boss Playa DeVante when she only sees me as Donald Earle DeGrate.

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Excuse any errors. Hope you like the flash forward. It'll go back to the 90s tomorrow. It's just to show you what's to come in the next couple chapters.