Falling For You ( Jonathan Toews Fanfic)

Chapter 13

"I'm sorry you can go now if you want. Go hang out with whoever it was you had plans with." I said I felt really bad that she canceled plans for me.

"No Em I'm not going anywhere. We're going to watch a movie with ice cream ad make everything better okay?" She said turning me so I was facing her.

"Okay." I said with a sigh. I was glad she was doing this for me, but I felt like a selfish person she was always doing things for me. And how did I relay her? By having more problems.

"Em don't even, I know what you're thinking. You are a great friend." She said. She always knew when I was thinking things like that.

I turned away and hung my head.

"Okay I'm going to go get the ice cream I'll be back." She said grabbing her keys which she had thrown on the bed.

I nodded and waved as she left my room I heard the door shut and then a car start.

"Hey are you all right?" Luke asked peeking his head in my door.

"No." I replied what was even the point of lying he would find out sooner or later.

"Want to talk?"

"No, I don't okay?"

"You sure?"

"YES I'M FREAKING SURE!" I shouted releasing all the anger I had pent up for the last few days. It wasn't anger at him, but he was the first one to push me to far.

"Sorry." He said and his eyes filled with concern.

"No." I said sighing." I'm sorry it's just everything and ugh I'm sorry."

"It's okay I shouldn't have pestered."

"No it's not okay, I'm sorry I'm such a brat now goodbye." I stood up and shut the door in his face. I wasn't mad at him I just didn't feel like dealing with him right now.

I lay down and pondered what it would be like to die. To end all the pain I was feeling, I would be free from troubles, from my haunting past, and from the pain. I thought it over seriously considering it. Yeah Rachael would be hurt, but I'm sure she would move on. There were plenty of people she could become closer friends with.

Luke he would be fine, he barely knew me even though he was my sister. He would live happily with his soon to be wife and eventually I'm sure he would forget about me.

I know for certain my dad wouldn't care, and my mom. Well, she might be hurt a little more, but she was soon to have a daughter in-law and she would replace me.

The one person I felt I would betray was Jonathan, I know I had known him for the shortest amount of time. But it still felt like we had a really good connection, and I wanted, even though it was probably just wishful thinking, to maybe date him someday. He was super nice and I had feelings for him. He was the one thing making the decision hard.

I sighed in frustration for probably the 10th time that day and pounded my fist against my bed. Why did life have to be hard. I felt like so many things were going wrong at one time. I had often considered suicide when I was depressed it seemed the only way.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door I got up assuming it was Rachael and opened the door.

"Hey got the goodies." She said holding up a tub of ice cream and two spoons.

"Thanks so much." I said I knew she was trying hard to make me feel better and I appreciated the effort.

"Your welcome! Now which movie should we watch?" She came in and sat the ice cream on my bed.