Our Last Secret

Chapter four.

Once there I knock on the door.

Before I realised what was happening, I was being dragged inside. "Thank you for coming," she muttered, looking at me through her lashes. She pulls me up to her room and to the crying twins.

I picked up Matt. "Hey, little man. What's wrong?" I asked him. He keeps crying and crying. "Shh, its okay buddy." I murmur. His hand closes around my shirt and his crying starts to slow down. "I'm here, buddy, it's fine," I murmured, kissing his forehead. He keeps hold of my shirt and after about an hour he falls asleep.

Lani sighed and sat down. "My first night with them and I can't even cope," she said, her eyes tearing up.

"Hey, its okay." I murmur. "I couldn't handle it by myself either."

She put her head in her hands and shook it. "I'm so stupid," she muttered. I stayed quiet, not knowing what to say to her.

"Lani, you are not stupid."

"Yes I am," she mumbled. "What mother can't even take care of their own child?" She asked, lifting her head and narrowing her eyes at me.

I pull her close. "Lani..."

She sighed and relaxed against me. I felt my arms stiffen around her; I couldn't let myself close to her again, she would hurt me.

"They're little, they don't know what They're doing.  Its hard now but it won't always be."

She nodded and looked up at the twins. "I guess you're right."

"Don't worry so much."

"Thank you, Owen," she murmured, looking at me through her lashes.

"Not a problem Lani."

Silence settled over us. Neither of us knew what to say or do; this was the longest we've been in a room with each other for a week.

I stand up. "I should go..."

"Its late, Owen," she said, getting up. "I wouldn't feel right letting you drive home now."

"Its just down the street..." Well the end of the street.

She shook her head. "Please, just stay..." I felt my step falter, I did want to stay, but I'd fall back in love with her again so easy. I still love her, but...I can't get hurt again...

"You can sleep down stairs if it makes you feel any better," she murmured, looking down at the floor.

I sigh. "Lani.... its just..."

"Just?" She looked up at me and frowned.

"This is really hard for me, Lani."

She blinked a few times then looked down at the ground, red covering her cheeks. "Sorry," she mumbled. I rub my neck and don't say anything. "If you don't want to stay, you can go, Owen," she said quietly. I don't know what I should do....

With a small sigh I walked over to her wardrobe and got her extra blanket out. "If you need me, I'll be in the other room, okay?" She nodded and I walked out her room. I go to the spare room and lay down, getting comfortable

When I looked at the clock, I realised I had been laying here for over two hours and sleep still hadn't come. I groan and roll over. Just the thought of Lani in the other room made me want to get up and go into her. With a sigh, I got up and wrote her a note, telling her I was going home so when she woke up, she'd know where I was. I leave the note on her nightstand.

Once I was in my car, I breathed out. Why was it so hard? I drove back home and went straight up to my room, falling asleep almost instantly in my own bed. I wake up in the morning and I take a shower.