Distance

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Ash POV

I always came back to the bay to train... To escape the world and retreat to what I knew best. The fling with Dominick gone from my mind, yet you lingered. It seemed that seeing you made it nearly impossible to forget you. I walked out of my hotel room and towards the elevator, it'd been routine already for me to go for a morning run and then take my day from there. Yet I was greeted with a tall lanky figure standing in the lobby with coffee and a slight smile.

" What are you doing here?"

"I can't come visit my best friend?" I sighed softly and took the coffee offered to me.

" How did you find me Gerald?"

" It isn't hard especially around here..."

"Does Devon know?"

"She and I are on a break...." I rolled my eyes before you motioned to the door. "Shall we?"

"Gerald... You know what fine." A sigh escaped my brims. My run now replaced with a walk. Normally it wasn't safe to be walking around this part of town yet we were locals. We grew up wandering these streets through the guns, drugs, and violence.

"Remember how you told me it was a long story about how you got out of the bay?"

"Yeah?" I mumbled, taking a sip of my coffee before glancing up to you. "What about it?"

"Well I got time." A smirk crossed your lips before you took a swig of your coffee. I merely chuckled before shrugging as I returned my gaze straight ahead. 

"Once you... and I went our separate ways things changed really fast." We started walking down our old road. The apartments looked even worse and the house Suzanne once lived in the basement was boarded up. "I moved back in with my dad for a few days.... I hadn't seen him in awhile... he was strung out on meth." I took a deep breath, stopping to look at the apartments for a moment. "He beat the living shit out of me and took every fucking dime I had."  You reached out to touch my arm, yet stopped yourself, clearing your throat.

"Ash...Why didn't you fight back?"

"I didn't see a reason to at the time..." I took a sip of my coffee before continuing to walk. "After that I stayed on the streets when the homeless shelter was full. To make money I worked for Donny and his goons...." 

"Donny? Drug Donny?" I nodded to his question before glancing to him. 

"There aren't many options around here for work... But there were days were I didn't have any money and your mom would cook me a meal.... I crashed at Grady's for a bit, but his girl got pissed and I left... I didn't want them having issues over me you know?" I looked straight ahead as we kept walking. "Only way I finally stopped slinging dope was cause the UFC came to one of my events... I got picked to get tested and train under them to see if I could make it in the big league." 

"I'm sorry for everything Ash." You stopped and rubbed your eyes, they were red, puffy from held back tears. A bitter laugh escaped your lips before you glanced up at the sky for the moment. "I just... was so set on my own selfish ways that I didn't check on you... I tried to get in contact, but your dad kept telling me you didn't want to see me." I nodded slowly, kicking the pebbles in front of my shoes.

"My father didn't even know the time of day... let alone what I needed or wanted.... None of it matters anyways... We're both out of the bay yeah? Living the lives we wanted." My voice trailed off along with the confidence. We continued walking till we got to the old hang out spot, looking out the the bay and the bridge. 

"I think we got part of what we wanted..."

"How so?" I glanced at you, sitting down and putting my feet up on the concrete block in front of me. "I got exactly what I wanted in a way..."

"We said we would never give up on each other... from the bay to the universe." You chuckled slightly as did I before taking another sip. "Would you ever consider it.... you know... you and me?" I hated that question for plenty of reason. Reason one being that now was far from the best time to be thinking about a relationship with you. Reason two was facing emotions I had been avoiding due to the pain of how it all ended. Lastly, reason three being that I never wanted things to end with us. Yet in this moment my brain was far more logical than my heart.

"I don't know..." I sat the cup down and began picking at my callouses on my hand. "I mean you've got your career and I've got mine Gerald... You tour nearly year round and I train nearly year round if I'm not fighting. When would be see each other and how the hell would I begin to trust you?" The emotions seeped to the surface, my eyes welling with tears that I had held back for years now. "I never wanted us to end..." You engulfed me in your arms, your body was so warm against mine and the familiar scent of your cologne brought back good and bad memories in a matter of seconds. 

"I'm sorry beautiful..." You whispered, your lips brushing against my ear as you rubbed my arm. "I'm so sorry... that you were homeless.... in pain.... it's all my fault and I never forgave myself." You sniffled and I pulled away slightly to look in your eyes. 

"I'm sorry too.... but I can't do this right now Gerald... I can't get distracted otherwise I could lose everything I've worked for to this point... I could get distracted and end up never making it out of that ring... I'm sorry." I whispered before kissing your lips. They felt perfect against mine as if they were meant for only me to kiss. Yet I pulled away and got up before walking off. Once again leaving you to think about everything we'd lost.

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