Me Myself and I

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Gerald POV

You walked out of my life again, just like that and I couldn't fucking blame you. Not in the slightest to be honest. I sighed and tossed my coffee in the trash beside the bench before slowly walking the other way. I didn't know if I should just give up and fly back out today, but then again you were ruling my mind. That was march of 2014 when you left me on that bench in the early morning light. I got back on the jet and bounced. I thought it was what you wanted and what I needed at the time.

"G.... G.... Fuck man... wake the fuck up." I groaned as the blinds opened and I squeezed my eyes shut. Everything hurt, it had been a constant party and nightmare. "You have a fucking release party tonight man! Get the fuck up!" Marty hollered, shoving me slightly. I sat up and rubbed my face before glancing at the clock, it was already mid afternoon.

"I'm awake man... christ..." I tugged the blankets off and retied my pajama pants, I hadn't been in the mood to get laid. I'd just been in the mood for drugs and writing shitty songs about missing you. How childish, but it didn't matter.

"Ash is gonna be there.... Clean your act up." I froze and glanced over my shoulder before returning to looking in the mirror. It was obvious I needed to shave, shower, and force myself to be sober for a few hours.

"For what? Who the fuck invited her?"

"We all decided it would be a good idea... maybe she can knock some sense into your dumb ass."

"She's nobody to me." I rolled my eyes before putting some shaving cream on and shaving as Marty walked into the bathroom and sat on the counter.

"Who are you trying to fool yourself?" He chuckled slightly. "She's fought 7 times since you two last saw each other and you watched every single one.... don't say you didn't because I caught you every time bro." I scoffed, cleaning off my razor before tugging off my shirt and drying my face. "Act like you don't give a shit, whatever... but we all see through your shit man." He hopped off the counter and started walking out of the room before I sighed.

"The fuck does it matter Marty? She hasn't called me..." My voice trailed off as I looked in the mirror then looked down. Cocaine in a tiny pile beside the sink with a small straw. "I'm nothing to her."

"Says who?"

"Says her not reaching out to me...?"

"Gerald... would you reach out to someone constantly getting high, fucking hoes, and partying? That doesn't really say much about your character bro." He shrugged before walking out. I closed the door and showered before spraying on cologne and styling my hair. I looked like I had it together, yet I felt a mess. I grabbed my phone and wallet before opening the door and wandering to Marty and Grady's suite.

"Yo G! We're running late!" Matt hollered before taking a swig of whiskey before glancing to his watch. He seemed frustrated, yet took another swig.

"Guys! Guess whose here!" Blizzy hollered walking through the door. I knew before you even fully walked in that it was you, the slight sight of Blonde waves peaking from behind Blizzy gave it away. He moved out of the way and there you were standing beside James and my mother. Your hair was flowing down your grey crop top, your tan skin trailing down to your white skirt. Fuck. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I walked over while everyone else 'yeeeeed'.

"Hey... I'm glad you could make it." I chuckled and kissed your cheek, you smelled intoxicating as always. You were thinner than last time, bruises decorating your forearms.

"I wouldn't miss it." A chuckle escaped your lips before I hugged James and my mother.

"Finally! Now let's get going. The limo is downstairs." Grady put a cigarette between his lips before leading the way. We all started wandering downstairs, yet I grabbed your arm and slowed us down.

"How you been...?" I mumbled and you shrugged slightly.

"I got a fight in six days so a bit on edge, but happy to be here..." You laughed slightly before glancing up to me. "How about you...?"

"You want the truth or the bullshit I tell everyone else?" Your smile disappeared as you looked into my eyes then down for a moment.

"The truth..."

"I'm a mess."

"I figured.... from what Grady was telling me." You took my hand, giving it a squeeze. "I was wrong for... pushing you away for another year... That's why I came Gerald." You let go of my hand and looked up to me. "I want to at least be there for you..." I closed the space between us slowly, placing my hand under your chin, looking at your pink lips. My other hand settled at your waist before my lips crashed to yours. Just as intoxicating as I recalled a year ago. I pressed you against the wall, only when something fell off a shelf did we stop kissing and nearly jump.

"I missed you..." I mumbled, laughing slightly as I took your hand and kissed the back.

"Yeah... I missed you too...." You mumbled and let me guide you to the elevator. That night things felt back to normal. You and I danced and drank as if it was the good old days. Obviously you didn't use drugs or go too overboard considering you had a fight coming up. Funny enough that night we didn't sleep together. You got on a plane to Toronto for the event coming up. I stayed in LA hoping things would be normal when you got back.

It was far from normal. In fact you were fighting for more than just a win after that night. Maybe you'd end up back in the bay after all. Maybe I would never get that second chance with you Ash.

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