Right Time (G-Eazy Fanfiction)

What Is This Feeling

Gerald POV

I opened my eyes to the sun blinding me and the pounding in my head. The girls on either sides of me stirring to the sound of a blender in the kitchen. I sat up and grabbed the baggie of coke, snorting a bit off the back of my hand. That familiar buzzing sensation in my brain surfacing.

" What the fuck is that noise..."

"I don't know, but get your clothes and find the door ladies." I mumbled and sat up, watching their naked bodies as the slowly wiggled into their dresses. My stomach churned as the memories of last night flooded my mind. The cocaine fueling my idiotic behavior. How quickly I forgot about the thought of you. Then again you were on Dominick's hip all night. I got up and slipped into a clean pair of jeans after washing off. Matt and Grady were sitting drinking smoothies and Blizzy was letting the girls out.

"O hey Ash! Dom..."

"Hey... Is Gerald up?" You mumbled, yet I could still hear every word.

" Yeah he's in the kitchen..."

"I'll wait out in the hall babe."

"Thanks." You said to Dominick. My stomach tensed and I leaned into the sink ready to vomit. "Gerald? You look rough..."

"You look well rested..." I glared at you, my childish behavior kicking in quickly. "You have fun with your toy?"

" Wow... You know I actually came her to check on you since you were a fucking mess last night, but obviously I was wrong to care." You rushed to the bedroom beside me and I stormed after you.

"Ash wait..."

"No... I actually came here to say bye as well Gerald." I heard your voice crack as you shoved the couple of loose things in your duffle bag. I grabbed your arm roughly and you looked at me with tears in your eyes.

" Where the fuck are you going..."

"I'm going to go stay with Dominick... He asked me to be his girlfriend so.... I said yes. You're not ready Gerald. You're living life at full speed. I just saw two hookers leave and... I know they were yours... I can't ask you to give up this lifestyle... So I choose for you to give up on me..." I let your arm slip away as I sunk to sitting on the hotel bed.

" Ash I can change-"

"I don't want you to change Gerald..." You brushed your tears away. "I don't think you should have to change for me... Maybe right now just isn't the right time." I couldn't help but let the lyrics of Marilyn play in my head. Tears sliding down my cheeks before I stood. "I'm sorry." My sorrow quickly turned to rage. I'd already noticed the love marks left on your neck by him the moment I saw you.

"No fuck you! I rushed off to come see you in the hospital! I'd do anything for you!" You tried to walk around me yet in my drug fuelled rage I grabbed your throat. "I fucking hate you... I'm glad that baby died because that would have meant I would have been tied down to being faithful to you." I watched those words tear you in pieces as Grady yanked me back. You lowered your head and moments later Dominick was by your side, glaring at me.

"You laid a fucking a hand on her...?" He shook his head and took your duffle bag before glancing to you as you made sure you had every thing from the room. "I made a promise to her I wouldn't beat the shit out of you... You've put her through enough don't you think?"

"I'm fine Dom..." You mumbled as your hand brushed along his arm. I shrugged Grady off and began closing the space between you and I yet he made sure I kept my distance.

"Don't ever... Ever mention me... Don't ever say you cared about me... Because to me you'll always just be a good fuck... Grace was better though." I watched his jaw tense, seeing the pain I had just continued to cause you.

"Shut up Gerald... Come on..." Grady pulled me out of your room, Matt glaring at me. Blake couldn't even look at me and neither could Marty. I watched him guide you to the door of the penthouse, his arm securely around your slender frame.

"Enjoy fucking her! That's all she's good for!" I smirked yet he looked back at me without anger. Instead it was complete disappointment. Only once the door closed did I sink on the sofa and Grady raised his hand to punch me.

"You're a fucking Dick! Suz will have your head you fucking prick. I don't know why I'm still here."

"You're here because that isn't your best friend who just acted out." Marty mumbled before heading to the balcony to smoke. It wasn't till hours later that I came down and reality hit as I scrolled through Twitter. His tweet of you made my stomach like always knot up. People were happy though. Yet no one knew you once belonged to me. That you and I were tangled in the sheets together and in love. I had royally fucked up this time. Saying shit I knew I didn't mean, but I wanted to cause pain. What the fuck was this feeling coursing through my veins.

"G?"

"What Marty?"

"What the hell happened to you today... You hurt her... You hurt our girl... Grady is fucking pissed I just had to convince him not to leave. Granted I had to convince myself not to leave either."

"I just lost it... Completely lost it... She's with him...."

"Can you fucking blame her Gerald?" Marty sighed before offering me the rest of his blunt. " She thought she could trust you and you always let her down." I took a drag before glancing to my room. The memories of last night finally finding their way to the surface. I was snorting coke off those girls and drinking myself into oblivion. I didn't only let her down. I let myself down. I let mom down.