No Games Left to Play

19: Suspicions and Loss

—About a month later—

The past few days I've felt very odd and not like myself. I don't feel ill, though. Something is just... off. I'm tired all the time, I can sleep all day and then sleep all night only to wake up still feeling exhausted.

I'm bloated.

I have to pee constantly.

My boobs hurt and are so swollen.

I can barely skin my game without the smell getting to me and making me feel nauseous.

If I didn't know better I'd say I was pregnant, but I know that's not possible. I've been taking my pill ever since Peeta and I got married.

But then it came time for my placebo pill week, the week I'm supposed to get my period but I didn't bleed at all.

I just shook it off, remembering when Dr. Aurelius sent me the pills he said not to worry if something like that happened. How it was perfectly normal while taking birth control. But something in the back of my mind, my hunter's instinct, was trying to get a message through to me. It was trying to tell me something that the medical knowledge wouldn't let me consider.

It's been a week since the last day of my placebo pill, and I still haven't gotten my cycle. I'm starting to get worried, so when I wake up this morning I decide it's best to call and get my mother's expert opinion.

I pick up the phone and dial my mother's number again, probably for the fourth time today. It rings and rings, and I'm starting to believe that she's never going to answer. At this point, I'm about ready to hop on a train and go to District Four.

Normally, if this was any other medical issue, I'd just go to the district's doctor. But I have this eerily feeling this is something big. Something I don't want getting leaked to the media if it's what I suspect it is— especially since I haven't even talked to Peeta about it.

"Hello?" my mother answers.

"Oh, thank goodness," I sigh with relief. "Mom!"

"Katniss, dear? Is that you?"

"Yes. Mom, what have you been doing? I've been calling all day."

"I'm sorry, Annie called me— I was over there — little Killian has the stomach flu and she was freaking out."

"They're okay now?" I ask.

"Just fine. I gave Killian some medicine and he was able to eat some toast and keep it down. Annie has me on call just in case. Is everything alright with you?"

I pause, hoping she'll be able to calm me down just as she did with Annie and her little boy earlier.

"How do I know if I'm pregnant?" I ask, then bite my lower lip.

"Are you still taking your pill?"

"Yeah, but something's wrong. I feel... odd. I don't know."

"Well, normally a missed period is the biggest clue. But when you take birth control, isn't always abnormal to miss a period."

"When I took my placebo pills last week I didn't bleed at all."

"Which, like I said, is not unusual."

"But that's never happened to me before, and I've been taking it for a little over a year," I say.

"Have you experienced any cramping, fatigue, or nausea?"

"I've been really tired and I only feel nauseous when I smell something bad."

"So you're smell sensitive. What about your breasts? Are they tender?"