No Games Left to Play

20: Coping With The Loss

Peeta's P.O.V.

"Mrs. Everdeen," I say. "Why is Katniss crying a-and bleeding on the toilet?"

"Peeta, I need you to stay calm." 

"No," I shove her off me. "I need to take care of my wife."

"Peeta," Mrs. Everdeen snaps. "Sit down."

I look longingly over towards the bathroom.

"Peeta," she coaxes me. "Please."

I take a seat at the dining room table, but my heart aches for Katniss. I try to fight the urge to barge into the bathroom and envelope her in my arms to never let her go.

"What's going on?"

Mrs. Everdeen takes a deep breath before she starts to say something, but she hesitates.

"Mrs. Everdeen? I can't help Katniss if I don't know what's happening to her."

"I, uh," she pauses. "Just... don't pressure her in to telling you until she's ready. Be there for her, hold her, let her cry. When the time is right, she'll open up."

I reach over and grab the hand that is resting on the table and look in her eyes that are screaming to let their tears free.

"Something big happened, didn't it?"

She squeezes my hand tightly and nods, "But everything is going to be alright." She takes her other hand and pats the back of mine before letting go. She stands and clears her throat. "Comfort food for dinner would be a nice idea... that is if we can get her to eat tonight."

"Cheese buns it is," I force a laugh. "I'll make some pasta or something too."

"I should probably go check on her," Mrs. Everdeen says.

"What else can I do to help?"

"Right now, get her some clean clothes," she says, turning away. She walks a few steps before stopping in her tracks and facing me again. "And don't look at her like she's wounded."

My head slinks down, all too familiar with look.

"So If you can stop looking at me like I'm wounded, then I can quit acting like it."

"Don't ignore the hurt she's going to feel, but be sympathetic," she says.

"Mrs. Everdeen, I can assure you I never want to hurt your daughter. I love Katniss with all my heart and," I pause, trying to control this ache that's consuming me. "I don't even know what happened to her and it's killing me. I can feel her hurt. A-and it's taking everything I have in me, every fiber of my being and self-control, to not knock down that door and put my arms around her to protect her from the cruel, harsh world."

She looks at me sadly, "It will get better. I promise."

I sigh and get up from my spot at the table. "I should get her those clothes and figure out dinner," I say.

"Hey," Mrs. Everdeen says and opens her arms, motioning me into them. I walk over and wrap my arms around her, and she does the same to me. "You're both going to get through this."

"Thank you," I say, when we pull away.

. . .

Katniss's P.O.V.

It's been a few days since the... incident, and things between Peeta and I couldn't be more awkward. He looks at me with these eyes that are begging me to stop feeling so depressed. Honestly, I wish I didn't feel so depressed. I don't know why I do. I didn't even— don't want children.